For those of you, and by that I mean most of you, who are not up on the Connecticut slang, the word "sex" is used as a way of saying something looks crazy or is basically a "hot ghetto mess." Ironically, the new "It song" on the radio right now is called Birthday Sex, and ummmmm....yea, the song is straight sex. No I do not mean that this song is good, nor do I mean that playing it will get you a lot of hoodrat p**ssy (though it may)....what I mean is that this song IS sex. Wack. Cawny (corny w/ my East NY accent). Ass. Booty. Now let me tell you why...
Aside from the fact that newcomer and overall decent crooner Jeremih sounds like he's doing his best imitation of the Dream, his debut song lacks merit as the concept of Birthday Sex is some absolute bullshit! Nobody wants sex for their birthday, they want presents!
This being said, I present to you:
Think I'm lying? Follow the steps below and see if this Birthday rendezvous does not signify the end of your relationship, as well as the beginning of your distaste for corny R & B singers making ridiculous acts seem permissible just because they can sang...yes I said Saaaaang bi**h. It wasn't a typo.
Birthday Sex: 10 Things Not to Do if You actually like Pu**y.
10. Fall into the trap of believing that because your girl loves rhythm and blues music, that you can get away with the same sorts of things that an attractive (no homo) R & B singer can.
Don't forget the fact that you are not a rich singer who can put his nonsensical gibberish to a melodic beat. You may think you are attractive, but the allure of wealth and fame tend to have an effect on women making them forget all their "jealous b**ch," "quintisential hater," and common sensical tendencies. All of these traits will resurface upon a regular ni**a trying to pull some Trey songs, Usher type sh*t. Your response: Well Usher did it. Hers: Ni**a, you aint Urrrr-sher.
9. Commit the sin of actually listening to and internalizing the lyrics of any R & B song post 1996.
R-kelly f**ked the game up by singing so well that he was allowed to do things like Marry a 14 year old and make a song called "you remind me of my jeep" without getting some standards of common decency slapped back into him. By the time "feelin on your booty came out" people were actually getting in fights and shootouts outside of clubs for 'handling the merchandise." Don't follow his lead. All these girls in these videos (including the minor who got peed on) allowed such behavior to go on because they were GETTING PAID. If you want to act out an R & B lyric, please don't let it be from 'Sex in the Kitchen" and try it out on a prostitute first.