NappyHeadedBros

crack.

2012-01-31T05:24:00.004-05:00

1st actual written post of the new year, it should be crack right?Thing about crack is......despite it's modern day usage as a slang term for anything "dope," generally pleasing or highly addictive, it pretty much still means "crack"...you know....the drug that destroyed communities , had mothers selling their childrens' playstation 2's and sucking di*k for twenty dollar rocks. Crack destroyed

Montel Williams Comes Clean!!!! Parody Video (ft C4)

2012-01-24T16:32:00.003-05:00

Sike, not really. But here's a video parody on him done by C4. Check it oouuuuuutttt!!! Feel free to comment, share, all that. Check out more stuff at www.jumpoffcomedy.com or youtube.com/jumpcomedy. Part two on the way. -C4

Express yo'self: All I needed to know about how to survive in 2011 I learned from NWA

2011-12-29T23:32:00.018-05:00

***Enter Tako & Show singing 'Express Yourself" ****Remember that NWA song by the same title, or am I simply showing my age?Well there it is, despite my own hatred for "Video Blogs." We stay true to the blogging art form around here and know you're reading this from your work computer and probably shouldn't be watching youtube anyway. Yea I said it, now keep reading before I call all your

WJA3's Top 10 Albums & Songs of 2011

2011-12-28T11:44:00.024-05:00

YERP! C4 here, playing Associate Nappy Editor for my man WJA3's annual music review. This review, as all music reviews, comes with a particular bias. Mine is towards artsy, Showrocka's toward ignorant yet original, and WJA3's is towards what a current listener with classic tendencies would appreciate. That being said, WJA3 agree on about half of these, and are so far apart on the others that I

Beat it, Dre!

2011-12-14T14:14:00.009-05:00

The other day I'm watching that Beats by Dre commercial in which Dr. Dre is throwing these water balloons filled with paint at hip-looking young people, and I couldn't help but think to myself: "Man, fuck Dr. Dre!" And I stand by that statement. Fuck Dr. Dre and his headphones that are everywhere. I mean it.Tako: nigga you hatin' cuz nobody wanna buy products marketed by indie hipster

ComBROmise

2011-12-08T06:42:00.005-05:00

ShowPac's Back.Sooooooo.... my girlfriend is a social worker and ad hoc psychologyst while my best friend is a bleeding heart, leading the two of them to often label me as "unsympathetic" or "insensitive to REAL disorders." I'm a student of the school of "Man the fu*k up and stop bi*ching," who also happens to hold an undergraduate degree in "Please stop making up disorders for every little thing

U did what?! (Rappers are in Danger)

2011-12-01T06:33:00.005-05:00

Tako: Damn Fam....You Haven't blogged since last Thursday.Show: I think It's secretly cause I like looking at the cute little spanish jawn at the top of the "Ho-cery Shopping" post, with her titty popping out. Nevertheless, It's time to get back to business. It's showtime (Swizz voice, only less gay.)Yesterday, Hiphop news ran the gauntlet of felonious tomfoolery with Boosie taking an 8 year plea

HOcery Shopping: A Relationship Post

2011-11-22T07:05:00.001-05:00

In its most basic, simplest, no frills form, hollering at hoes is no different that grocery shopping and procuring the ingredients for a particular meal. When I use the term "hoes," I do not mean to imply that your significant other is a ho, though she very well might be, I use the word as a generic misogynistic term in an all too common hood colloquialism. "Holler at hoes" sounds a lot cooler

Drakavelli Shakur

2011-11-17T05:50:00.004-05:00

"If sensitive niggas wear their hearts on their sleeve, well then Drake wears his on the sleeve of a cozy Lane Bryant blouse, forever rebelling against the old adage that big girls don't cry."-Rocka Tako: An now we present to you, an hour of Drake Slander Courtesy of Showrock.Show: Nope, not at all. Kindly shut the fu*k up and allow me to articulate my point.Earlier this week Drake dropped an

Occupy Wall Street: Nappyheaded Translation

2011-11-15T06:44:00.002-05:00

"As are most things in this world not related to pus*y, This is about money..." -Rocka Sooooooo. Jay'z Was spotted wearing an "Occupy All Streets" T-shirt and the powers that be reprimanded him for taking monetary advantage of arguably one of the most prolific movements of the century? Hmmmmm. I think they just didn't want Black people, especially entertainers associated with the movement. This

F'd Up Pillow Talk Pt 2...The Finale!

2011-11-09T05:49:00.001-05:00

I don't even check how many hits I get each day anymore....that's how I know I'm becoming a real blogger and not a Twitter attention whore. LOL. I Work when I want to and blog about whatever I want to. Wow, this must be what it feels like to be white...LOL. Guess that's the beauty of doing per Diem work for free. Swag.Shameless Plug: Follow @NappyHeadedBros on TwitterAlas, here we stand on the

We chose 30 Tattoos Over CitiGroup

2011-11-08T07:53:00.014-05:00

"I could've been a Lawyer, could've ran a city too....but chose 30 Tattoos over CitiGroup..." -RockaAs a non hypocrite I'll be the first to admit that I often fall victim to "baby mama thinking." What I mean by this is not, "thinking about having a baby mama and doing hoodrat things", but rather falling into a pattern of rationalization after the fact designed to make my decision seem

Pillow Talk Pt. 1

2011-11-07T06:16:00.001-05:00

To say nothing shocks me would not be an entirely true statement, though I due have a high tolerance for the absurd, insane and outright ridiculous. Normally when people start a story with "The craziest shit just happened" I want to yawn and say...Cool story bro. Ive seen more interesting things happen on a Tuesday after bible study, despite my not even having gone to bible study.I've had one of

Son, You're Grown, Move out Your Mama's House

2011-11-03T08:03:00.012-04:00

"Rob a store before you walk around poor....cause you aint getting nothin from me, you're grown booooy." --Lloyd BanksSee that shit quoted above? Yep. That's black logic. Can I say I whole heatedly disagree with it? Nope...absolutely not. I'm from the school of "man up and stand on your own two" as are most black men (baring the ones mooching off their overweight Caucasian lovers.) Hell, even the

All them Rubbers in my Luggage....

2011-11-02T08:09:00.018-04:00

Insert a tumultuous Din and background of catastrophic noise: Bang, Bang....Crash.....Bang Bang...bang...bangWja3: What the entire fu*k!! Thats why I hate these Nappyheaded retreats. What the hell is that godawful noise. I was trying to get some sleep.Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, bang, bang.....Crack.......C4: That would be Show & Tako building a soap box. They both couldn't fit on the last one at the

Sly and the family Yam

2011-10-27T19:04:00.012-04:00

There's no greater feeling in the world than getting head from a legitimately obese girl after she's had a slice of cake. Two to three slices might put her into a lazy, food induced coma or may induce a seizure as a result of her adult onset diabetes & hypertension, but one slice...one heavenly slice, will create a fire within her inner being, causing her to suck you like the intense center "eye

The exploitation of the 3 temp wifeys

2011-10-13T00:58:00.000-04:00

The NappyheadedBros Blogging team consists of myself, Tako, C4 and Wja3. Aside from that, we have affiliates such as Lefleur, Shanga, Buc Dinero, Caveman and my cousins Dezo & Chain, who tend to always be privy to the wild stories and outrageous happenings as they take place. In addition to this, they share in speaking a special vocabulary created by the Bros, from which one term in particular

2011: Dating is easier, Cheating is Harder

2011-10-04T05:47:00.001-04:00

Sooooooo, I was thinking about this last night as I lay in bed (no homo), and...... Tako: You just no homo'd the phrase "laying in Bed." That's ridiculous.Show: I aint want nobody conjuring up the image of me on my stomach with my feet kicked up, twirling my hair and shit. Like on some Alicia Silverstone "Clueless" little white girl on the phone shit.Tako: Unnecessary nonetheless.Anyway, like I

Dear Fellas....

2011-09-29T00:26:00.004-04:00

"Kick the truth to the young black youth" (Gza / Teen Summit Voice)Sooooooooo....yesterday brought all the stars out. Lots of comments and a general sentiment that most of you didnt like the blog. Boo hoo, cry me an afro-centric river, dry it with your Dashikis and peazy wiz Khalifa afros while i sip champagne and smoke cigars with some busty, straight haired Cuban women. I'm just kidding...I'm

(Light Vs Dark) It's better to just be with a White Girl

2011-09-28T06:20:00.001-04:00

Haven't Blogged in a while, but I also haven't had anything of particular importance to talk about. Imagine that, what a novel idea, not saying anything when you have nothing of worth to say. Let me stop, if we followed that rule, Twitter and Facebook wouldn't exist and all the annoying and stupid women would be married to decent guys unaware of the adolescent and at times infantile workings of

Showrocka P. Newton Presents: T.R.O.Y

2011-09-22T06:45:00.002-04:00

Oh yall Care about Troy Davis Now? Two weeks ago you didnt know who this nigga was. Two weeks ago you were screamin free Lil Boosie (Who killed more niggas than cigarettes!) Two weeks ago you were saying "beyond a reasonable doubt my ass! That Bi*ch Casey Anthony is guilty!" Remember that?Oh, apparently I've gotten your attention....now I'll play nice.I am in no way knocking people for becoming

Here come the Paramedics!!!

2011-09-21T06:00:00.003-04:00

Wja3: Almost 2 weeks without a blog....how do you come back from that....what type of heat rock do you drop after that?Tako: Talk that shit Pac!!!! C4: Oh Lord...Anything but more ranting and Ray J meat hopping.Tako: Nah yo, Talk that shit!!! YOU should be on the Money Team b!!! Put on your red hoody and start chippin n*ggas teeth!!While i appreciate the concern and Tako's support of my reckless

The Top 5 Reasons Iphones Shatter Relationships

2011-09-08T05:17:00.003-04:00

Cockblocking and player hating have existed from the beginning of time. Even still, unscrupulous niggas have been stealing each others Yams long before the Pilgrims did it to the injuns at Plymouth rock. "Girl listen, you need a dude like me. Your man be at the strip club every week trickin off on diamond. I'm not about that life. He probably spendin yo money. Let's do lunch."Never before,

Dating by the numbers...I mean Letters.

2011-09-06T05:29:00.002-04:00

We here at NHB like to do interesting things and approach the often difficult topic of dating in unorthodox, interesting ways. Today shall be no different.Rather than discuss body count (The amount of sexual partners or "bodies" a potential mate has) we are opting to do away with the traditional Western number system in favor of the Ancient Arabic Alphabet Anagram. LOL Rather than form words with

Why Weezy's Jeggins were Dope

2011-09-01T05:20:00.001-04:00

C4: No. Absolutely Not. No Justification. Tako: Wild Homo Mcnuggets with a side of flaming Homo-que sauce. Wja3: We know that you're a borderline Wayne "Stan" and that you're going to support anything he does, including the recent collection of mediocrity known as the Carter IV. This, however, is a crime against humanity and even a man with superior wordplay and out of this world

Waiting to Exalt: Why we love Golddiggers.

2011-08-30T06:03:00.001-04:00

"I Hate a liar more than I hate thief.. A thief is only after my salary a liar is after my reality" -Chubby, pre-fame 50 Cent Taking a look at the above quote, one could easily say that this post's point has been proven long before the Bros tediously typewritten text has overtaken your over sized computer screens. Gold diggers, while scheming heifers and conniving paper chasers, are at the

Nice Guys finish last, but who cares....

2011-08-24T05:39:00.002-04:00

I'm sure you've heard the age old saying that "nice guys finish last." Cute right? evokes sympathy for the common man buying hoes flowers and cheesy biscuits from red lobster just so she can go home to her baby daddy and suck him off to a Travis Porter song. Very fucking cute indeed. "Nice Guys finish last," is even a stretch of the imagination as it has been my particular experience

Why Women need barbies.

2011-08-22T12:48:00.010-04:00

Girl: It's almost like he don't wanna spend time with me...I swear sometimes I can't stand his mutherf**kin ass. Girl #2: Yea, I feel you. he be clubbin all night, getting drunk, hangin till 4am? Girl: Not even. He always workin on that damn motorcycle, or goin to the gym...playin ball, doin yard work....Aint like he workin all the time! I'm like damn ni**a, do you not like pus*y?! If you

Louis Vuitton (And other Hogwash Tomfoolery)

2011-08-18T05:41:00.003-04:00

I'll be the first to admit that I have a penchant (Liking) for all things Louis Vuitton. While I havent yet crossed into the realm of hoodrat (i.e. doing shit like buying fake louis Vuitton items or spending rent money on items i truly cannot afford), I cannot honestly say that my obsession is NOT yet a mature one; I havent yet graduated to buying "non-monogrammed or non-Damier Checked"

The Day I became a man....

2011-08-16T08:17:00.021-04:00

First off let me start by saying, this shit cray... C4: Skerrrrrrrrt! Stop it right now! We will not be using that dumb ass Kanye slang. Gotcha. I knew you'd Say that. Looka here boi. I'm tired of people Fighting trends in favor of originality simply because its the trendy thing to do. Right now it's popular to call everyone else 'followers' when in actuality, half the people on

Why u should let him hit it: an Open Letter

2011-08-15T12:39:00.016-04:00

"Son, you brought her out, spent all that money and still didnt even smash?!!" How many times have you heard that same exact line? Probably a lot if you're a trick and not that much, if you're cheap or talk to cheap women who give it up for extra McNuggets and free Ciroc. While the female viewership probably laughed at the aforementioned comment, as they think the words "cheap ho" can

Quit degrading your Baby's Father

2011-08-11T05:03:00.000-04:00

Don't you just hate when Maury asks the random hood or trailerpark dude, "if this is your child are you gonna accept responsibility and be in that child's life?" and upon his contrived and unenthusiastic "of course Maury, I'ma be a man an handle my responsibilities" the crowd errupts with hand claps, affirmation and cheers? It's almost as if they're saying "yes, we need more good men like this

Coretta Scott: Yeah, I held my Nigga Martin Down!

2011-08-09T05:10:00.003-04:00

While everyone should be watching their hoes and making sure some morally deficient "new Nigga" isnt sippin moscato with her in hopes of bendin her over like a frail dude in jail, they have chosen to focus their efforts on contently fawning over Jay-z and Kanye and paying a semi-homo erotic homage as they "watch the throne." Above average album from above average rappers, but this isnt a

Girls run the world...

2011-08-08T09:37:00.021-04:00

This post has been in the making quite a while, as I usually tend to shy away from in depth posts which require me to write long paragraphs which may deter you from reading them. Solution? Break up paragraphs with pictures and sprinkle a Kim Kar-dash of funny shit in each. Not to insult your intelligence or anything, but i know niggas attention spans as I have been doing this for years...

Al. B. Sure: The Last Non Corny Lightskinned Dude

2011-08-04T08:04:00.012-04:00

In today's society there is no class distinction between African Americans of different skin tones as there was during the Jim Crow era. What exists today is a distinct yet all too familiar manifestation of the "if it aint light it aint right" phenomenon via black males thinking its cute to say "oh, I dont date Darkskinned women" and praising the almighty yellow bone, publicly shunning any woman

Pros and prose.

2011-08-02T17:29:00.007-04:00

Pros and prose, Two words which are spelled differently yet sound the same, all the while having different meanings. Some of you already knew that, while others don't even know the difference between "Know and no."Know (Verb) (1) : to perceive directly : have direct cognition of (2) : to have understanding of (3) : to recognize the nature of : discernNo (Adverb): used as a function word to

The Girl Who Burned me & My Brother!!

2011-07-29T08:39:00.013-04:00

Ol' Head: Yeah, I aint gettin burned again tho! I remember one time i aint have no rubbahs so I used the foil....you know that come off the top of a cigarette box. I aint have no rubberband either, but i gripped that muhfucka tight...these young boii's dont know about that.Ol' head #2: Yeah, I had caught the crabs. That was the worst. Itchin and scratchin like a smoker or somebody on that dog

Show & C4: Social Networking -->Augmentation, Misrepresentation, and Idiots

2011-07-28T05:58:00.001-04:00

Tako : (Plays Meek Mill Tupac's Back Instrumental on Macbook) ****Showrock's Back..... Searchin my Hoe contacts.....and you know I'm reppin Charlotte, no bob cats...Wja3: (Exhibits perplexed face. You're not from...)I'm talkin Charlotte Rousse, Got fat chicks by the two's....they fuckin me not you....cause they heard that Show got snacks!! Ughhhh (Ross Grunt.)Wja3: This nigga.Morning ladies and

White Folks do the darndest things Pt. 1

2011-07-26T05:36:00.001-04:00

Now I've always been a fan of the power of the titty, but this is worst than the time i hooked up with the girl and swear her titty tasted like sweet ass milk. Like, I mean the first time I sucked a titty in like middle school i remember it being all salty, like if you lick somebodies neck after a day at the beach, thereby leading me to believe all titties were supposed to be like that (Until i

Girls You can Take Home to Mom (According to the Chickenheadologist)

2011-07-25T05:30:00.003-04:00

Nowadays Girls know exactly what to say and have gotten progressively better at the art of fooling men into believing they are decent females you can bring home to mom. This is fact.(What she leads you to Believe...)The Modern day woman will exhibit all the telltale signs of being a habitual metamorphosing shape shifter, including but not limited to the Big 5:(More Accurate Portrayal)5.) Liking

Condoms on your Baby Seat !!! (Extremely Ignant)

2011-07-20T07:54:00.016-04:00

I got a text yesterday from my righthand man Viva la Bam. Now when I say this dude is my righthand man, I mean like that in the "I'd fight a pregnant nun for this nigga" way...like Jadakiss said 'Slept in the same bed, same chick gave us head.' Me and this nigga slept head to toe for like a month (No Homo), but thats another story for another day. Point of this was to say, Viva la Bam sent me

Women as Sex Objects...LOL

2011-07-19T04:28:00.001-04:00

Male chauvinist, Dickhead, purveyor of pure unabashed fuckery. Yep. I've been called them all. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not gonna do some bitch ass nigga backpedaling, however I will say, I'm only what you've made me. You did this. "I'm a product of your feedback, which in essence is my environment...." Remember the day's when I blogged epicurean recipes and showed pics of

Sorry 4 the Wait....Bitch.

2011-07-14T08:06:00.015-04:00

I had a different post planned for today written by a blog reader explaining how Ass will never be the new face and the Bros, intentionally or unintentionally objectify women, but ehhhhh....I opted for this. Sorry sugar tits..... JK. That was a joke.Anyways, this is what's hot in the streets, so this is what I'll blog about...maybe ill post the other tomorrow.Soooooo, the media darling and leader

Must The Age of The Ass....Bottom Out?

2011-07-12T03:52:00.019-04:00

Long before the days when the market was over saturated with posthumous Bigge and Tupac albums, two gems were released to the world in their rawest and purest forms: Makaveli the Don Kiluminati and Life after Death. These two works represented the two pivotal and nearly complete final declarations which two of our generations most talented young rappers had left for the world. Even not having the

Chickenhead or the Egg...?

2011-07-11T08:53:00.019-04:00

Happy monday!!! (even though I know the two words don't typically go well together.) Quit being a bunch of negative negro nancies! Be glad (if u have a black boyfriend over the age of 18) that he's alive and has his freedom! If he doesn't , well..... that God that you live in a nation where you can give him endless hood radio shout outs as he listens from the clink. :) Goodmorining Yams.Today's

Wealth, Timing & Exchange Rates: CASEY ANTHONY

2011-07-07T08:25:00.013-04:00

Tako: Oh what yall thought yall wasn't gonna see me??!!!! I'm the Osiris of this shit!Show: Ya mean!!! We shit on your doctrine of "its too soon to make light of recent tragedies" and wipe our ass with your sympathetic overtones.Wja3: And here goes another episode of Tako & Show Pissing everyone off, causing us to lose a few followers and making me leave the room.C4: Nah, they're good. I've heard

Cookout Cup Life

2011-07-01T06:41:00.006-04:00

Today's blog sponsored by the good folks at NoDaysOff run by none other than my homie Tommy Trump.4th of July Swag. Morning yams. It's the beginning of the 4th of July weekend (No Anne Frank) And you know what that means...time to get it poppin like firecrackers and pork rinds. C4: No Anne Frank? Huh?Tako: July = Jew-LieWja3: Oh boooooo nigga booooo.With the weather getting hotter and more people

Act your Race maaaaaaan!!!!

2011-06-30T01:28:00.003-04:00

Pimpin Pab:When u gonna do a blog about ppl that think they're a different race, I know if it gets to me its already gotten to u , chics that think they're rican or white boys that got the B.E.T syndrome (I'm a thug, the "so what I never actually been in the shit I seen BET" syndrome.)Show: It's funny you should mention that.White people, college educated blacks and the rest of the population of

An Ode to the Almighty Redbottom

2011-06-28T05:01:00.002-04:00

Let me start by explaining that this isn't your typical ode. It's actually an acronym (o.d.e) for Only Dumb Entertainers, aka the core demographic who SHOULD be rocking these oh so coveted shoes which are "all the rage" as of late. Don't worry though ladies, this isnt to bash your high fashion or spending habits...not today...its more about what we value as a community and how semi-fat girls are

Black Heroes vs. Black Villains: Episode 1

2011-06-27T06:09:00.013-04:00

C4 back! C4 back! Blogosphere screaming that C4 back!Nappy friends, I begin with an apology. Been a long time since I've been regularly featured here, and that's my bad. My writer's block and lack of inspiration have led to an unprecedented prolonged absence. FEAR NOT! Like I said in the first line, I'm back, and you'll be seeing a lot of me this summer so get used to it, bitches!!!About the

C.R.A.B.S: Can't Really Accept Being Single

2011-06-23T06:10:00.003-04:00

C:Carelessly cordial conversations with your girls can often lead to a syndrome commonly known in urban circles as Hatertension. Hatertension is similar to hypertension in that is tends to disproportionately affect minorities, raise your blood pressure, and is often correlated with being overweight. Think about it, how often has a conversation with your friends turned into a "this bitch is acting

Tit for Tat

2011-06-22T04:39:00.001-04:00

I really wanted to title this "White Folks do the Darnedest Things," because they do, but i opted to use this post as a means to point out the fact that many Americans have ridiculous tattoo obsessions far worse than mine. Sure I have 30 some odd tattoos including a bottle of Guinness, a Gun with the caption "Pistol Wavin New Haven" and 9 sets of breasts (yea, you heard that right), but guess

No more Excuses for Black Men

2011-06-21T05:12:00.004-04:00

Tako: Ayo Show, Drop a Gem on em (Mobb Deep Voice)Show: Ungggghhh (Rick Ross Voice)Wja3: Don't yall have your own voices?C4: And in today's pop culture news......The Actual Article in its entirety...well plus us adding commentary: Los Angeles — Michelle Alexander, author of “The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness” recently said: “More African American men are in prison

Roger Rabbit Luther King: A Theory

2011-06-20T05:43:00.001-04:00

"Hoes on my Dick cause my ears real floppy..." -(Lil B the BasedGod Voice)Oh, Black people know about Roger Rabbit. Back in the 1990's we even had a dance called the roger rabbit which most of yall can probably still do. If you can't, click here ----> http://www.blogger.com/Roger%20Rabbit . What you probably don't know however, is that the creator of the film was somehow directly responsible for

Life and Times at Hoodrat High....

2011-06-15T05:50:00.007-04:00

I got on the guys yesterday (pause) about their thirsty habits and lack of refinement, so it would only be right that i verbally accost the female population for today's morning rant, no?It's summer so I could talk about the girls with open told sandals and no lotion with their feet lookin like a pair of Cool Greys (Jordans)...Or I could chastise women with baby fat from 3 babies ago squeezing

Do Not Obey Your Thirst: The Art of the Non-Holla.

2011-06-14T06:30:00.001-04:00

"Met her on Myspace, Found her on face book, the head on you porn....she's an Internet whore, you can enter that whore" -DJ PaulFor those of you unfamiliar with Twitter, consider yourselves lucky. It's addictive, annoying basically a trip back to a high school where all the students are dumber, more immature and have more babies. In addition to this, twitter is filled with "the Thirst", basically

What's up with these New Ninjas? (Drake Voice)

2011-06-10T06:54:00.002-04:00

"What's up with these new niggas....? And Why they think it all comes so easy?" -DrakeI'm sure you've all heard that line in the new DJ Khaled song, which is arguably already poised to be the summer banger, and thought...word, what IS up with these quote unquote "new niggas."At the risk of sounding like a disgruntled curmudgeon, a hater of sorts, I'm going to put it out there and say it, as

Birth of Coon: The Story of the Hustle

2011-06-03T09:22:00.008-04:00

I swear C4 had a post entitled the re-birth of Coon, but I'm way to lazy to search our extensive blog archives. That being said, I'm gonna call this the "birth of coon."I remember when me and my cousin chain were little, we decided that while playing in the yard with our plastic boomerangs and flying our Styrofoam planes was fun, we needed to cut that little kid shit out and get money. Now I know

Racks on Racks or a President that's Black?

2011-06-02T08:25:00.011-04:00

My parents and Grandparents can tell you all about pre and post war japan and the leader that led them through it, Hirioto better known as Emperor Showa...Not to be confused with my brother Showrocka, though I'm sure he's vain and intelligent enough to have already tried to claim linkage. The Emperor Showa period was important and my ancestors knew what his royal majesty stood for...even if half

Julisca has AIDS...I'm just putting it out there.

2011-05-31T08:06:00.005-04:00

Random Chickenhead: Boy, I just flew in from Miami and boy is my jaw tired. Insert crowd sound effect: Ooooooooohhhhhh.What up slimes and slimettes? Wja3: Did You Really just say that? Don't give me the look like you're about to throw a hood cliche at me. Say "Stop it 5" and I'll throw this fucking Corona bottle at you.C4: Smh.It's your Boy Tako Tsou-Woooooo taking over the blog in the absence of

Memorial Day in M.I.A...I'll Pass

2011-05-27T08:25:00.012-04:00

I've never hated on Mi-Yayo.The weather is perfect (if you don't mind sweaty balls), drinks are strong (albeit overpriced), the celebrity allure is at fever pitch and the women are top notch. I have no complaints about the dade county 305, or the sunshine state in general. Just save you're money and ball out, cause it'll cost you a grip.There's a catch, of course...and that catch is memorial day

Short...Skirt...Theory

2011-05-26T08:24:00.012-04:00

Sooooooooo..... The other day I saw a few girls getting ready for their Yale Graduation wearing the skimpiest of white, butt hugging dresses nearly exposing their hoochie coochie pink cookies in a plastic bag. I'm sure their mothers and grandmothers whom accompanied them didn't care to see their ivy league fur burgers on display and there's at least an 80% chance their fathers didn't want to

All I Really Needed to Know I Learned from Martin

2011-05-24T07:48:00.014-04:00

No one gives a fuck about my stalled Rap career, as evinced by yesterday's blog numbers, so I'm back to blogging.You've seen this poster, just as I'm sure you've heard white people quote the following saying: "All I really needed to know i learned in Kindergarten." I always tend to divide things upon racial lines, but the kindergarten thing goes for black people too. Eating snacks and shitty food

Nappy Gilmore

2011-05-23T07:19:00.006-04:00

So I havent blogged lately cause I've been on the road...literally. The other day I just finished (with a team of 12) , a 36 hour , 198 mile footrace from Yale (New Haven) to Harvard (Caimbridge.) I also haven't gotten any in a while, So yea, Im not in much of a blogging mood.However...In honor of the world not ending I'm releasing the cover art and Promo video for my Mixtape which Should drop

Judgement day: Tako's Confession

2011-05-19T04:27:00.000-04:00

A few of my childhood friends don't really fuck with me at the moment and C4 and Show always ask me why. I never really told the story because i'm not the type to make my business public, nor am i the type to put actual hood shit on the Internet. At the moment tho,I feel like the world is gonna end anyway, so fuck it. Dear Show & C4,The reason those 2 cats don't fuck with me is not because I

How many HE has and what it means...

2011-05-18T05:06:00.004-04:00

People said my last post was catered towards men...see below for response...The other day we did a post entitled "How many she has and what it means", about the best ways to judge a book by its cover. If you haven't read it, you should. It's listed right underneath this post and was rated over 5+ coontastic stars.Obviously, at the request of the ladies, and by the ladies I mean La Rubia, since

How many she has and what it means...

2011-05-16T08:07:00.016-04:00

"Men Lie, Women Lie...Numbers Don't" --Jay ZToday we came up with the idea of the best ways to judge a book by its cover. Children, dress codes, choices in meals....all these things provide essential and valuable information about that girl you glanced at across the room. Pay close attention.Let's play the numbers game to rate potential mates and see how they add up, shall we?Babies:1:If she's

TS Presents...Happy Mothers day Ho

2011-05-09T07:56:00.018-04:00

Wja3: At least they waited until a day after mothers day.C4: I hate when they joint post. We always lose a few female followers. Tako: Ahemmmm. We're trying to blog here. If you're so poor that you dont have food, you'll grow up skinny. You are in essence, a product of our environment. Sure you can find ways to obtain food, but when the surrounding climate of low quality education and lack of job

The Girl Who Messed it up For Me

2011-05-06T07:58:00.017-04:00

Anyone who follows this blog regularly knows that a.) I try not to get too personal (other than to tell crazy stories) and b.) I was in a 4 year relationship which ended with my ex somehow being deported to the Darfur region of Africa. OK, that's not confirmed, but she "could" be there and I wouldn't know or care. Salty, eh? Lol. The reason I mention that is because it's very important in

Cinco de mayo...Sigh.

2011-05-05T08:55:00.012-04:00

Every Cinco de Mayo for the Past 3 years I've gone off on a rant about how Mexican Independence day is really September 16th and how 5 de Mayo is really just Americans confusing a victory by General Zaragoza at the battle of Puebla as "Mexican independence." Mexican Independence was 52 years earlier in 1810 and is celebrated by real Mexicans as "El Grito de Dolores." No I didn't Wikipedia or

Show to Kid Rock: Fly that Confederate Flag!!!

2011-05-03T08:11:00.010-04:00

So, Someone thought yesterday's post was corny eh? Eat a dick.Kidding. I guess that really just proved my point altogether. My heart wasn't in the post because (Insert epic music)...Dunn dun dun duhhhh...I DON"T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT BIN LADEN BEING DEAD. The Fox News Headline typo of "OBAMA Bin Laden Dead" was hilarious though. If I was the prez I'd fire whoever was supposed to be

Bin Laden is Dead? Eh. When's the New Lil B Album Comin out?

2011-05-02T08:04:00.012-04:00

Bin Laden is dead eh? (Come on Son Face).I'm a natural skeptic, as I'm sure you all know. I'm not gonna say some shit to get me labelled as a USA Hater or terrorist and shit though. I'll just put it like this. Bin Laden is probably about as dead as Tupac. Both have met an unfortunate demise, and authorities have yet to produce a body. Once again, insert "come on son face." I mean, yall not even

What It Means To Be 28...and Show Rocka BUSTIN' HIS ASS!

2011-04-27T06:54:00.008-04:00

The very first time I blogged on this site it was about my 26th Birthday and the things I learned that day. A lot has changed/evolved since then. Today I blog about my 28th, what it means to be 28, what I have learned, and what I might NOT have learned.Birthday Lessons of Ages 21-26 <--LINK26: Always Have A White Friend27: It's OK to pass out at your own birthday party if you're at home in your

The Problem with black men...and Women

2011-04-26T08:10:00.013-04:00

Haven't blogged in a few days, mostly because I'm nursing a 4 day hangover post C4's 28th bday celebration. For those of you who aren't my FB friends I'll tell you yes the rumors are true that a drunken foot-race ensued down 79th St, someone nearly cracked their skull open and C4 managed to get it all on film. He will take the liberty of embarrassing me tomorrow.And now...onto more pressing

Animal Crackers

2011-04-21T08:22:00.009-04:00

Ok, So a particular image comes to mind when we say the words "Animal crackers", no? I mean, we all know exactly what an animal cracker is, right? Right.Funny thing is, it's kind of misleading...I mean, imagine if you weren't from the western world and had to interpret the phrase "Animal Crackers." They aren't made from Animals, nor are they fucking crackers. They're small baked cookies which

Propoganda: Thick Latina Girls, Deebo, Hitler & Diddy

2011-04-20T11:44:00.014-04:00

"Hide your wives, hide your kids....(Antione Dodson Voice.)" No homo"By the skillful and sustained use of propaganda, one can make a people see even heaven as hell or an extremely wretched life as paradise." --World leaderOne of the important things about propoganda is that it can make even the most intelligent person forget that whatever it is they are seeing defies both logic, common sense or

Advice Column: How to ruin His other relationship

2011-04-18T07:45:00.015-04:00

Here we gooooooooooooooo (Slick rick voice).Now I get a lot of shit from women about this blog being mysoginistic and catering towards the male demographic. It's been said that when we do mention females it's to make fun of the small tittied or not so pleasantly plump ones, and praise the promiscuious population of big bosomed beauties. I'm not gonna deny, affirm nor defend those opinions because

White America made me like hood chicks

2011-04-15T08:56:00.014-04:00

"Yes, I'll take her...Dark meat only though, and with a splash of Soul seasoning and a side order of hood. Oh? You don't serve that here? You suggest I check your harlem restaurant? SMH. " Hang around weed heads all day and though you won't necessarily start smoking weed, you will undoubtedly be introduced to other weed heads. This is fact. Hang around hood niggas and you will, by default,

Dear Ashley Judd...Fuck you.

2011-04-14T05:00:00.002-04:00

Show: Here's a news article I read the other day peppered with my commentary as I re-read it. This is something new. I'm not gonna Jazz it up or craft some clever theory. You are getting my thoughts as they happen. This should be fun.(AllHipHop News) Actress/abuse victim Ashley Judd had harsh words for Hip-Hop music and its "rape culture" that has been created by lyrics that demean and degrade

You named your baby what!!!???

2011-04-13T08:15:00.010-04:00

Show: In terms of racism, on a scale of one to Jenna6, today's post is rated a solid 5 nooses. Take it away Tako... Black people, white people, Peppericans and Asians all choose to name their children based on different cultural traditions, rules and parameters. While Asians tend to make up gibberish that we don't understand like Zen Xioa Chang General Tsou, and various other things they've

Bad "Girls" Club

2011-04-12T08:03:00.014-04:00

Despite men of different ethnicities, backgrounds and personalities typically having varying tastes in women, a few things are undeniably irrefutable. Beyonce is a bad bitch. Eva Longoria is a bad bitch. Lucy Lu is a Bad Bitch. Pardon my frequent usage of the word bitch...just kidding. What do the aforementioned 3 women have in common? Is it their features? no. Body type? no. Skin complexion?

Rap Ruined the Club.

2011-04-08T08:07:00.010-04:00

Show: Yesterday's post was dope.C4: Eh, It was average. Show: You always say that, you're a fucking hater. C4: You have the tendency to be 1-dimensional at times. Let's see...Black people vs white people, Black history with an asshole's twist & Crazy college stories. That's all you got...or at the very least, those are your fallbacks. Prove me wrong. Here's my attempt to prove C4 wrong. I will

B.E.C.K.Y.S --A Mr. Mulatto Post

2011-04-07T08:13:00.022-04:00

So I was talking to my Caribbean homeboy "The Tragic Mulatto" the other day and he basically encouraged me to find a rescue my alter ego, Mr. Mulatto from the depths of obscurity for a triumphant return to my blog kingdom. Too much? As the only black man I know, besides my cousin Chain, who has never slept with a white women I think I can use him as a sounding board for my theories on why the

Where Brook(Lynn) at???

2011-04-06T01:00:00.002-04:00

So slime.... You really gonna tell me that Legendary Hot 97 DJ and hip hop personality Mr. Cee didn't know this was a man? Like puertoricans say to condoms...I'm not buying it. Jk. Let's be honest though fam...this nigga looks like, well...a nigga!! Doesnt surprise me though. Mr Cee always had that "Big Tigger-bald headed nigga who's smile is too sweet" look to him. Sheiiiiiit. "You look so good

The Easter bunny, the Toothfairy and the single mom who kept it 100

2011-04-05T08:06:00.017-04:00

There are tons of things which don't exist...the Easter bunny, the tooth fairy and the Single mother who keeps it 100 are just the first three I could think of. Tako: Oh lord, here comes the backlash. All I'm saying is that what you hear, may not always be the way things are truly going down. That being said, I've taken a dive deep into the minds of these three aforementioned mythological

Vagina Twix: Two For Me, None For You

2011-04-04T11:05:00.008-04:00

Two for me...None for you.C4's been away from your door for far too long, Nappy Family. Unprecedented writer's block and un-inspiration have kept me away from you for much of the year, and for that I apologize. If you're happy to have me back you have the infamous Lu-Deezy of wwww.luimbe.com to thank, for blessing me with a Gawker article that was simply too ridiculous not to comment on.So here's

Ladies, We Apologize for making you Swallow...kinda.

2011-03-31T08:04:00.017-04:00

We men do a lot of rude things consciously and subconsciously. We often climax before our mates and sometimes fall asleep directly thereafter. We often use the "b-word" with reckless abandon just so long as there are no females around. We leave the toilet seat up because we assume we arent dating Hellen Keller and you can see well enough not to "fall in." We even do things like walk in a room,

Protect ya neck!

2011-03-30T11:51:00.016-04:00

What the French, Toast? !!! I always wanted to say that line from the Orbit commercial. So what? I'm strange. That being said, Today's poignantly potent particle of pop culture poison (no BBD) is brought to you by Showrock as stolen from my boy Killa Cam(bell). He does a weekly list of shit me and his other sick in the head yet socially aware homeboys should read. Check this out: From CNN: A

Robbin the blind with Chocha fine as wine

2011-03-29T08:15:00.009-04:00

All most niggas know about Ray is the Pepsi Commercial and Jamie Foxx. Here's some more useless info about the world recordholder for smashin women he cant see. Can you imagine being his wingman and him pissing you off? Probably send him off with a crackhead with a herpes bump. LOL. Anyways.... According to something I read this morning from lauren minogue, Ray Charles Mistress was literally

Women cause 95% of crime, be it directly or indirectly...

2011-03-23T05:10:00.004-04:00

Of all the subjects we make commonplace on the NHB blog, we really haven't yet tackled homosexuality (PAUSE) , except for the constant and jovial use of the term no homo. Today will be no different.I do, however, have to lay down (pause) a bit of demographic information to solidify the merits of my argument. Approximately 1-5% of the United states is exclusively homosexual. While it can be

Why Minority men have Wifey's and Jumpoffs & what it means...

2011-03-21T06:00:00.001-04:00

I could go through an entire comprehensive list of how to tell if you're a jumpoff and not the wifey, but that'd be silly..(If you want a list, check out Lovable Psycho's notes from that link.) That being said, anyone, no matter how blond her hair is, knows that if you've never slept at a guys house and you've been involved for a year, or if you can only call him during certain hours, that you,

Happy St Pat's from Showrock & Shamrock from the White Rapper Show

2011-03-17T08:14:00.018-04:00

In honor of St Patty's Day, we here at NHB are painting the MF'n Blog Green and who better to help us than the big homie $hamrock aka Yung Irish from Egotrip's "The White rapper show."You do follow that logic right? Assholes + someone actually Irish and famous = licence to be bigger assholes on St Patrick's day.Now if you know one thing about the bros you know we keep it 100 and say whatever's on

Keeping it 100 on the Japanese Earthquake

2011-03-16T05:17:00.002-04:00

Soooo. Last Friday an earthquake hit Japan. I know you're thinking, no shit Sherlock, it's all over the news. But think about it...how many niggas watch the news everyday (with the exception of people with kids just checkin to see if there's gonna be a school closing.) I, for one, read a lot on the Internet but don't really watch the news...except on Wednesdays at 11:00pm cause it comes on

Top Hip-Hop, Love, and of course, Coons.

2011-03-15T08:46:00.007-04:00

Best. Cover Art. Ever.So the topic since Friday has been best hip-hop albums and songs of all time, with a little less fanfare than we'd like quite frankly. You bastards can leave comments! WJA3's lists were fairly solid, wiping away the shame of Showrocka's abomination of a list, so disgusting with Paul Wall at #10 that I didn't even notice Juvenile sitting at #7. S.M.H. Me, I lean towards

WJA3's top Albums & Songs

2011-03-14T09:00:00.002-04:00

I know I'm a little bit older than the figurehead of the NHB's but according to his list, hip hop started in 1991. Showrocka's list was so bad, I had to come out of my blogging sabbatical to set things right and prevent the blog from being shut down by the hip hop police. I did top 15's to help undo the black Kevin Costner's horrific top 10's.Top 15 Hip Hop Albums of All Time15. Snoop Dogg -

Show's Top 10 hiphop albums and songs...of all time

2011-03-11T10:50:00.009-05:00

Follow us on Twitter: NAPPYHEADEDBROSNow onto the post.So I was doing an interview with a rapper the other day and he made a comment about a particular CD. Now I know dudes to typically comment on the posts, but I have to be honest...this one is more geared towards them. No homo.If there's one thing I am, it's diverse.I listen to all types of music, but in reality, my favourite is and will always

Why do people love weed?

2011-03-10T08:13:00.010-05:00

Snoop Dogg.... Wiz Khalifa...And for you older cat's, Cypress Hill...Oh don't act brand new like you dont remember them or they aren't popular. These mutherfuckas were on the Simpsons!All these performers, and a host of other's I'm not even going to bother naming because the list is so extensive, all have one thing in common...their fondness of a particular drug called Cannabis Sativa....reefer..

The Nursing School Files....

2011-03-08T08:04:00.011-05:00

Sometimes people NEED to hear something despite them WANTING to hear something else.Tako: Here comes Captain Morals... (Leaves room)Show: Get back in here.Tako: I've been studying heavy shit all day, If it doesn't involve Titties I'm not interested. I'm going to watch Mediatakeout. (Covers ears) I'm not listeninnnnnnng.Show: Dick.Motherfuckas always think I'm hating...In particular, people think

Rooting for the black guy...or the white supremacist..same thing.

2011-03-07T08:03:00.007-05:00

So I was watching a new shoe called America's Next Restaurateur or some shit like that and immediately noticed the show creator's intent within the first 5 minutes of watching. The competition focused on people cooking and pitching their restaurant ideas to Bobby Flay (who I didn't realize looked so wild homo) and some other investors, as they fought for a spot in the top 10. The cast of

Mr. Mulatto: Why Black Guys like Puertorican Girls

2011-03-04T08:10:00.016-05:00

Show: Hey girl, I see you looking at me and can sense the mutual attraction. Don't mistake this for your average run of the mill pick up line destined to get you in the sack. I can and will love you, but don't get it twisted...It's not because you're strikingly beautiful, intriguingly intelligent, or my future soul mate. It's because of 400 years of conditioning...I'm a rational human being, not