Wednesday, August 1, 2012

You wasn't wit me Shootin in the Gym!!

"Bi*ch you wasn't with me shootin in the Gym, Uhhh....Bi*ch you wasn't with me shootin in the gym!!"

Translated from the urban vernacular, the above, popular phrase can be transcribed as follows:

Why should you be entitled to the benefits of my hard word and dedication when in fact, you were not the one putting in countless hours of effort. In essence, the phrase says that a spouse or girlfriend shouldn't be entitled to half your assets unless she helped earn them. Does this mean I am saying that being a support system and emotional rock does not count as the help needed to keep a man sane and help him transition to greatness? Absolutely not. What I am saying, however, is that if you believe in this mantra....your ass needs to learn the word pre-nup.

Maybe he was in love so he ignored the call to make the smart decision. Maybe he didn't realize he'd be as big as he has become....either way, Kobe almost took a ginormous loss. Like a bad BJ in jail, however, he was able to escape by the skin of his teeth.


Kobe was able to avoid the loss of millions, however, simply because in 2012 the culture of Rap music is so pervasive that a colloquial phrase and sing-songy rapper was able to stir within his wife, the ethos of "stand by your man" or at least "stand by your man's assets."

Drake said it best:

"Kobe bout to lose 150 M, Kobe my ni**a, I hate it had to be*ch you wasn't with me shootin in the gym!"

Women like Drake. When he talks hoes listen.

Vanessa Bryant, Kobe's hot ass white wife, was listening, and clearly believed that she was indeed "Shootin with him [Kobe] in the gym." She believed this so much that she ignored Kobe supposedly raping that hideous slam pig in Colorado and decided to say, YOLO, lets give it another try. Vanessa basically said, Aiiight,aiiight I forgive you...I'ma stop trippin......

That was, until she saw this hogwash tomfoolery right here......

Oh, now you got two playboy?

Apparently, TMZ caught Kobe half bucket nekkked with two white womenz at a team USA Party. Aside from him getting caught, WHY is this Acceptable?!! At a heterosexual party where no pool is involved and you are wearing jeans, you should not be shirtless. I'ma ignore that crazzzzy sag going on in pic #1 that looks like a.) he's a 17 yr old in skinny jeans that does the jerk or b.) he's about to whip out his meat and do a different type of jerk. In layman's terms, a cokehead should not be posted up between two giant mounds of coke. I'm not hating, but im convinced that If kobe sniffed that Colorado, I'm sure he wished he had a Doug Funny-Krs One sized nose for these two alabaster mounds of arian purity.

Tako: This guy!

More perspective. I've given my ex-Gf the most ridiculous story to explain my non-cheating. I basically thought I had gotten burned and refused to have sex with her. My excuse was that I fingered a girl in a strip club and forgot to wash my hands before peeing. The most ridiculous part of the story is that it is true!!  I ended up not having an STD or UTI and even I myself think it sounds like a bold faced lie despite the fact that it wasn't. 

Wja3: Kudos to you for manning up rather than infect.

Moral of the story is that she believed me because she had no reason not to. Kobe's girl has PLENTY reason not to believe him.  Remember Colorado? STILL, the best excuse he could come up with was "I was waiting for a clean shirt after someone spilled something on my first shirt." C'mon Son!!!

Call it stupidity or gold diggerish greed, but Vanessa will take him back after being made to look like a fool again. I'm sure many people say "that's the life of an NBA star" , but when a woman takes a wedding vow just remember , she expects her husband to be hers and only hers regardless of who he is. I'm sure she knows he's cheating and as much as she loves him and tries to keep him on the straight and narrow, I'm sure she knows it'll happen again. Maybe she's biding her time until she finds the right man to help her spend Kobe's millions. Maybe she's out sucking more shlong than the hookers at Hunt's Point. Who knows?

One thing is for certain though....Kobe may think he gains a victory with each insertion that he survives unscathed, but it's like the hood dudes who upgrade baby mommas for a badder one...only to end up paying more money in child support. In the end, they win and you lose. Cutting your earning power by HALF!!! 50%!!! These girls aint stupid and in actuality, they're winning. Name one other way to make 150 million without working or being a Kardasian??

Why you think Cookie stayed with magic. Hint, hint...It wasnt cause chicks like boning dudes with Aids.
It's Cause she was shootin with him in the gym!

Ladies, Don't be stupid.....Fellas, be careful who you let in on your practice sessions. I'm out.


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