Thursday, May 3, 2012

Dear Fellas: Anytime a woman cheats, it's your fault.

Son, I haven't been on blogger in so long that the look and feel of the web setup has changed and I can barely figure this out. Damn, guess we're long overdue for some Nappyheaded nostalgia as I reflect on my past hoes and the lessons learned. Yep, I said hoes. F**k you gonna do? sue me. My president listens to young jeezy. You Cant tell me sheiiiiiiiit.

On with the "Show." I'm about to go national geographic so I can plead the plight of my demographic.

Tako: Oh boy, Mr. 30 year old rapper is at it again. Give it up.

C4: Well.....what you got Showrockadile Hunter?

Check it. Female lions represent the best and worst of society and actually arent too different from the women of today. Let's start with the best. Female lions hunt all day while the Male lions just chill, protect the crib, chill and chill some more. She provides for her family, holds it down for her man and recognizes that he is king and she's just there to be his better, more active, more responsible half....well she's there for that and to give up the lion booty. Lol.

Tako: Some might be inclined to call this the "perfect baby mama" syndrome.

Now for the bad. Female lions will allow a new man to come into her old man's den and take sh*t the fu*k over! Now, in her defense, she does not "sleep around" or tell old lion side piece #2 that he can run up in her den, smash and leave before her King gets back (Like some of you tryflin females) , but she does do something different. If the #1 lion aint got his shit together or is neglecting his duties to the point another lion takes over his den in some sort of a lion version of the strong arm robbery, she lets him kill all the kids from her previous CubbyDaddy and start smashing anew. Wow. Lion bi*ches aint shit!

The point of all this is that most women start off loyal and have their man's back, with those that dont fit this mold being certified hoes from the start. Female species are not programmed to take on as many partners as possible as are many masculine creatures. This being said, they are not fighting genetics. I will even take this a step further and risk pissing off all men across the world by saying "anytime a woman cheats, it is your own fault."

Wja3: Bold words.

Though my blog brethren may not be in agreement I have ascertained 4 primary reasons that all break-ups are the fault of a male. I also use acronyms just cause a NLI. (Negro like it!)

1.) Reason 1, CCMP: Couldnt keep  your meat in your pants.

Pretty self explanatory. Men can separate sex from loving and caring in a way that no SELF-RESPECTING female can do...I dont care what she says....she cant separate them the way a man can (pause.) Problem is, a relationship is an implied contract. She doesnt care that you have no emotional or even physical attachment to that girl, she cares that your meat has been compromised. If you wanna keep her, you gotta make the Meat her's.


2.) Reason 2, TFG: You took her for granted

Remember how happy you were when you first bagged her? Before you realized that in addition to that fat ass and pretty face came a smart mouthed princess who was stubborn and hardheaded? Well good. She remembers the sweet guy who would send her packages and flowers just because....the guy who was in shape, not a fat ass and who would actually pay the tab. Difference is, she has a line of available nig*as willing to fill her "void." The thirst disguised as concern and chivalry often prevails (see Reason 3). Men are a bit more relationship smart. We just see other girls with fat asses and puertorican accents and assume that they have just as many problems as you....

Meanwhile, you gals see Mr Twitter sixpack romeo and go gaga-slurpslurp-byebye.

3.) Reason 3, IBNH: You were in her bed but not her head.

Number 3 should've been number one to me..... (I actually didnt make it #1 just so I could rap that line in a Biggie voice.) This is the most important reason break-ups are mens faults. Women cheat because some man has gotten into her head and convinced her that he was a better fit and possibly, that you aint shit. No man can get in your woman's head if you have properly made the appropriate mental connections. Look at all the girls who stay with a man and cry their eyes out each night, hoping he'll change because they love so much about him. Connection established!

Think about it. A man telling your girl she could do better SHOULD be like someone telling you the world is flat and not round. If she stops to ask the question "why do you think it's round?" you haven't properly sealed all entries for mental doubt. Another man can only pull emotional bit*h ass ni**a tricks on your lady, i.e) tell her you're probably cheating, exploit her insecurities about your PAST indiscretions, listen to her boring stories or pretend to care about her interests if you give her a reason to NEED to discuss her life with another male. Take care of your business and the thought of even discussing stuff like this with another man will seem like cheating in and of itself!

Also, get in her friends heads. If they dont like you, they'll be setting her up on double dates in a heartbeat saying "it's not cheating, I just think you two could hit it off and be good friends." Beware the single hoes.  
Men cheat to satisfy the meat. Women cheat for emotional reasons which makes it a gazillion times worse.

4.) Reason 4, SHFS: She was a' Sho'.

This is your fault. You should've done your research, listened to your homies, checked the amount of  Do-rags left on the side of her bed, pulled her medical abortion history or known when you saw the tongue ring. You tried to turn a paraplegic to a Kenyan and it didn't work. It never works....duh...that's why hoes are winning.

C4: That was a pretty good rap up my dude. Sounds like someone hurt you, but it was still a good rap up. Lol.

In the end this doesn't excuse any woman for cheating and really only portrays the Bros as more misogynistic by actually thinking we control a woman's decision to cheat, but i do believe everything stated was true. Women, I hope that you have an endless stream of STDs and a stable of special needs children if you's just as easy to voice your concerns and fix the problem, or simply walk away. Fellas, stop blaming that other dude for your tryflin woman's ways. You made her that way. Take each failed relationship as a lesson learned and think of ways you can do better....

Oh yea, and stop wifin hoes.

Paz no Guerra.

-ShowShow aka 2Playz

No comments: