Friday, March 2, 2012

White women are like a game of Spades

So, as you can see the Bros have been going for quality over quantity these days....

Tako: that being said, Show sends his sincerest apologies and a chocolate covered cherry cheesecake brownie to all the big girls out there in heiffertown U.S.A.

C4: Ass.

Wja3: Well Played.

Anyways, as a general update C4's been out pursuing his acting career and trying to become the next Denzel, Wja3's been saving the world one impoverished neighborhood at a time, Tako has been avoiding baby mamas and paternity suits like the plague, and me...well, I've been buying, selling and trading sneakers across the globe aka trying to get a pair of Galaxy Foamposites. Now we're talk shit.

White women are like a Spades game...

Now...before anyone starts that "what do you know about black OR white girls Mr. "Date so many latinas I collect greencards instead of panties", let me state that I have extensive experience in the realm of ALL women...Plus I consulted my Cousin Chain and Buc Dinero, the self proclaimed 'white ho king.'

The first and most necessary thing to notice and agree on is that :

1) Dating is a game, with clear winners and losers. Those happily married? Those are the winners. The divorcee's may have one a few hands or been the victorious powercouple at game night, but last time you checked, they were at the X-mas party with a standby date in some stacy adams pants, a Kangol and team Jordan Dress shoes. That's a fail.

2) The second thing to note is that all games have different rules, as does the politics of dating women of different races. Don't believe me? Get out of the shower with a white girl...hand her a brush and towel ...done. I didnt hear her asking for a silk headscarf, washcloth, blowdryer, pink hair lotion, baby powder and cocoa butter...and they both smell the same ONCE THEY'RE DRY. (Oh, yall no exactly what I'm talking about. )

Now, the reason white women are like a spades game....

First off, they are things which nig*as like. Also, they have both been known to help incarcerated men get through their jail stints (bids.)Not to say a black woman wouldn't do this...but you will get a whole lot of "I told you so, even though I was helping you spend that illegal money and now I gotta come visit your stupid ass before the two dollar holla or ladies night." White women...well, they play the game just as if it were spades and symbolically throw out that two of clubs to start the game. This represents her "throwing out" the idea of going "to" the "clubs." She's gonna hold you down...and make you a sammmich.

Tako: Dope.

C4: Deep.

Show: Pause.

To take it a step further, aesthetically, white women are just different....yet there isnt too much variation. These represent the "suits." Just as there are 4 suits (diamonds, clubs, hearts and spades) you've got Blondes, brunettes, red heads and Jet black raven haired beauties. Name 4 black women that naturally have hair color like that without the introduction of black di*k into white pus*y...aka mixed race bebe's. With suits defined, there really is no difference between the first 3 other than a difference of opinion. King of hearts, king of diamonds same shit. Blonde, bruneete...whatever. Spades are that different, unique , fourth suit. That being said, I guess Spades would be the black haired ones because the color thing makes sense and most importantly, they look the most Latina and like a spade, they can "CUT" you. No racist. lol.

*Purposely finds pic of white woman so as to not upset Latinas. Lol



Still, any real player knows that even a spade can be trumped by the big and little jokers. These would be the white girls looked at as a joke by society aka white men, but coveted by all Italians and men of color around the world...the white girls with the fat ass (Big Joker) and extensively big knockers (little Joker.) Trust me, in an interracial game of dating spades, they always win....ALWAYS.

Tako: More, more....this is great...give us more! pause.

Wja3: I got one. Poker is played in smoky testosterone filled dens, whether televised or not, dominoes is played at cookouts, but spades can be played at a classy evening with friends, at a lunchtable in school or in a jail recreation room. White women are versatile.

C4: AND you can bring her to the cookout....if you dont mind your female family members hating and your homeboys scheming in their head.

Precisely. I am glad you mentioned the haters Mr. C4. These would be the "sandbangs" always attempting to weigh you down and meant to discourage you from over bidding. What does over bidding translate to , might you ask? The same as it does in spades...estimating how many books you can win, or different white women you can bring around before you're considered a sell-out.

Straddle this line carefully because it could mean the difference between winning (like Ice-T did w/ Coko the big joker) or thinking you won, only to have to start all over again like Kobe and when he caught his rape case then tried to go back to his wife Vanessa Sandbags; He tried to get that last book and ended up at a "loss for words."

All things being equal, however, white women and black women alike are creatures of habit existing in a society where men create the standards of beauty and acceptability. That being said, we're already ahead in the game. All we have to do at this point is learn the rules and become the best spades players we can...While spades may not be all that "acceptable" of a game (especially in the south) it is nonetheless one that we all enjoy from time to time and which shouldn't be placed at a lower tier just because it was around during the wild west gambling days. Keep playing my friends and one day spades will be as highly revered as poker, and not just a regionally divided counter-culture phenomenon.

Keep playing my friends, keep playing (Dos Equis Voice.)



Rock said...

Perhaps you'll like Black women are like dominoes, Asian women are like checkers a bit better?

Lanie22 said...

I don't understand this article. So the 3 of you are basically saying that white women are spades and better than black women? That basically white women are the quality women?

Lanie22 said...

I don't understand this article. So the 3 of you are basically saying that white women are spades and better than black women? That basically white women are the quality women?