Thursday, November 17, 2011

Drakavelli Shakur

"If sensitive niggas wear their hearts on their sleeve, well then Drake wears his on the sleeve of a cozy Lane Bryant blouse, forever rebelling against the old adage that big girls don't cry."


Tako: An now we present to you, an hour of Drake Slander Courtesy of Showrock.

Show: Nope, not at all. Kindly shut the fu*k up and allow me to articulate my point.

Earlier this week Drake dropped an album, which for the most part, is pretty good. Although I can admit that on first listen I wanted to fling that touchy feely bullshit out the window, I can honestly say that after a week (I had the bootleg) it definitely grew on me. No, its not a "hard", "Gangsta" or "Street" Album, (and honestly, I've heard Jodeci albums tougher and more masculine than this), BUT the rapping is impeccable and the singing infectiously catchy. No I don't care for the subject matter, but Drake's obviously one of the best in the game and on top of that, a singing , rapping double threat. This isnt an album review though.

This is a spotlight on one song in particular which solidifies Drake as the modern day Tupac Shakur in terms of being unapologetically gangsta. Yes, I just said that the softest, most non-gangsta album of the year SHOULD give Drake the street credibility of a Tupac Shakur, and here's why.

Yes, Ive previously said Lil B was the modern day tupac in terms of "rapping with a message" and have been chastised for such, but if you look at it, in addition to the "I'm Gay" album, songs like "Heard her cry"( ) about domestic violence and "I've got AIDS" showcase Lil B's ability to raise social awareness.

No other Main stream rappers are doing that though Lupe is doing his best to promote his own political agendas. Drake, however, represents the other side of Tupac. The reckless, gangsta side....and here's why.

Marvin's room is the "Hit em up" for haters. It is the ex-boyfriend scorned, bitch ass nigga song of the last 100 centuries. It empowers all the sensitive, hateful men of the world to break EVERY MAN LAW in life and attempt to reconcile with their ex. For promoting such a bold and taboo agenda, Mr. Drake, I salute you....I don't co-sign...but I salute.

Man Law # 1: Don't call your Ex... (Especially don't call her singing).

Man Law #2: Don't Speak another man's name...or do dirt in his home.

Man Law #3: Have pride (pause).

In 1 line Drizzy Drake manages to break all these rules like a Kardasian Hymen, crooning "Fuck that nigaaaaaaa that you found, cause since you picked up I know he's not around..."

Wow, not only did he mention dude, his soft ass said "fuck him. I'm better, and you know it or you wouldn't have answered the call." Bold yet brilliant. This is the proverbial "That's why I fu*ked you Bi*ch you fat muthafuc*a." No shame.

Playing on the sensitive nature of women, placing reasonable doubt upon the "love she's found" and probably already was not 100% confident in, stroking her figurative clitoris with the subtle cadences of an R and B song, we almost forget that Marvins room = the hit em up of Cockblocking...sorta how people praise hit em up as one of the greatest diss songs ever and forget the fact that it details a real life situation in which someones wive and soul-mate got the sh*t FU*KED out of her. That's gotta sting.

This being said, Drake knew that he would make an enemy of all decent men, and all non-insecure women, but he chose to make those enemies, carefully penning his unabashed ode to hate with the precision of a solider writing love letters to his wartime bride. While most female friendly American Rap-singers (see Ja Rule, 50 Cent, Mos Def) remained neutral like the US during the beginning of WWII, Drake quickly aligns himself the "allied" powers of hate, reminding us that he is indeed Canadian...and the King of knocking his ex's newest relationship right off the "Axis" until its shattered into a million little pieces.

Tako: Clever

Fellas, with this type of hate festering on our radio airwaves it's no wonder the world has become one of less virtue and temperance. Listening to Drake is dangerous as was listening to Pac. Well groomed with a pearly white smile (Pause) Pac won his way into your mama and grandmas living room with the "keep ya head ups" of the world disguising the fact that if angered, he might "fuck yo bi*ch."

Drake does the same, electric sliding across the plastic covers of your mom's couch in a 4 button cardigan, but is more dangerous in that he ACTUALLY BELIEVES THAT HE LOVES HIS EX AND CAN MAKE HER FORGET THEIR TROUBLED PAST, HIS PAST FUCK UPS AND GENERAL BAD BEHAVIOR!

Yes, niggas and niggettes. You don't SING this type of hate unless you truly believe it! And This!!!! THIS!!!! This is the Dr. Martin Luther King, I have a Dream Speech of hate. Biggest problem still, isnt that Drake is hating with a Victoria's secret Pink Bandanna tied to the front and a "hug Life Tattoo", and that women....emotionally attached creatures that they are....believe this shit. Enter the cycle of make-ups to break ups which prevent her from arriving at the doorstep of Mr. Right without notoriously B.I.G amounts of baggage.

Youve been warned. Tupac Lives.

***Goes and listens to Ray J


1 comment:

Robert said...

I'm a fan of this I've said to others, Marvins Room is brilliant because it's so fucking brazen...I can relate to that as a former successful homewrecker/predator.

I've been domesticated in my old age though...