Tuesday, October 4, 2011

2011: Dating is easier, Cheating is Harder

Sooooooo, I was thinking about this last night as I lay in bed (no homo), and......

Tako: You just no homo'd the phrase "laying in Bed." That's ridiculous.

Show: I aint want nobody conjuring up the image of me on my stomach with my feet kicked up, twirling my hair and shit. Like on some Alicia Silverstone "Clueless" little white girl on the phone shit.

Tako: Unnecessary nonetheless.

Anyway, like I was saying, yesterday's pillow talk with myself centered around the concepts of relationships and more specifically "dating." Many of you may laugh when i say "dating" because it sounds as if I'm on an old episode of saved by the bell asking Lisa Turtle to "go steady" aka lick my balls on a regular basis , rather than the modern day equivalent cop-out response of "I'm talking to someone," or "its complicated" which really means "I'm fu*king someone I dont really like enough to make my potential mate" or "i have commitment issues but like sex."

(Obeezy: Chill hoe....I aint with all that commitment ish.)

All these things aside I feel confident in making and backing up (pause) the following statement.

Wja3: It is evident that he's bringing back the unnecessary pause-no homo, a testament to his old blogging days.

Dating is a lot easier these days but cheating is hella harder.

C4: Hella? Pick a region and stick with 1 type of slang. You say hella (Cali) , Yams (Virgina), Jawn (Philly) and overuse the word Son (New York) all in one sentence!

Show: Yep, using 1 regional set of slang is straight sex (That means whack in "New Haven talk"). Im worldly.

So back to the blog.

I remember back in the days when you had to go to the mall, make eye contact and actually use what we shall call "game", but which really means "talking to girls face to face" and convincing them that they should cha cha slide you them digits. Ahhhhhh to be young. We'd ride the City bus for 45 minutes just to go to the mall, not buy shit and see who could bag the most girls numbers. Best part of this wasn't leaving the mall with a pocket full of scribbled phone numbers on crinkled up pieces of paper and a chest full of smiling pride, but rather the intense and overwhelming laughter when you witnessed your boy get shot down and dissed by the girl he approached.

It was all part of the game...and if I do say so myself, it was a difficult game.

Nowadays, one can meet a girl on facebook, text her for a few weeks and actually speak to her for the first time when you show up at her house itchin to use that magnum you just bought. I'm not knockin anybodys love life hustle, Im just saying this shit is a lot easier. This, of course, is compounded by the fact that dating is made exponentially easier in the 2011's by the fact that women have been conditioned by the media to be more materialistic, meaning "buy them fancy shit and they'll fu*k."

(Gucc: Lemme get a Lemonade for the lady...yea, supersize it. Call me supersize shawty. )

Wja3: Mysogonist.

MEN...on the other hand, have gotten also evolved to the point of "not being worth shit" so, they've stopped being chivalrous and stopped buying shit in favor of spending direct money on sex (aka the strip club) rather than dating, or as I shall call it, indirect trickin. This being said, women are so used to not having shit, when you get them shit and treat them nice, they appreciate it.

Same goes with men....

Men have become accustomed to the 1990's career focused woman, or the "I work so damn hard as a single mother that I just want to relax" types, that we've given up on the possibility of a "domestic" wife. Show up and cook for a nigga and 9/10 times you're automatically in !

Dating, therefore, becomes easier for both sexes based on the history of both sexes priming us to expect mediocrity AND the ease of technological communication.

Remember the days when long distance relationship meant buying a phone card and catching a 8 hour train ride to see your college boo? me neither. Nowadays Jet Blue flights are cheap, you can Skype that hoe and basically see her everyday, talk to her with your free long distance, text all morning and fight over email when she see's your ex flirting with you on you Facebook wall. :)
You will also know when she's available, but proceed with caution...lol

This, however, brings me to my next point...Cheating.

In short, Dont do it. However, if you were gonna do it (In my OJ Simpson voice), you shouldve done it 10 years ago.

Twitter, Facebook, the ease of text messaging and skype are, intentionally or unintentionally, ways of keeping tabs on each other and giving contextual clues. You dont have to ask "whos at your house?" if you're skyping and can see noone is there. Can't reach his phone? check his Facebook.... Oh, he checked in at the gym....phew.

Want to know how pretty his female friends are and whether or not you should be worried? Check his facebook comments sections. Want to know where he was last night? Enable spouse tracker on his phone. LOL. That does exist, but I was playin, DONT DO That.

All in all, it seems as though the process of cheating has become more and more difficult as the forces which support monogamy increasingly evolve to keep up with the elusiveness of the ever present cheater. Wanna cheat still? OK. Delete FB, Twitter and all forms of social networking...and look GUILTY as all sin.

How, then, in this world which facilitates such easy interpersonal encounters yet poisons them by preying on peoples insecurities and giving them the means to "stalk each other's entire lives" on the boardwalk (Pauly D Voice), are we subbosed to get by? get-get-get by?

There's only one way...

Build trust by real dating, and keep your trusting ass out of her Internet life...Because let's be honest....any girl you trust enough to sleep with and possibly bear your child should the condom break, you SHOULD trust enough not to assume innocent co-ed conversations are the remnants or seedlings of secret sexual encounters.

Church. In the wild.



Daniel Bryan said...

I agree. Dating others while in a relationship is not cheating. While dating while being married is cheating.

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Terry Wilson said...

After reading this plot, I can connect it to real life. Women feel neglected and cheats. It goes both ways.
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