Monday, August 22, 2011

Why Women need barbies.

Girl: It's almost like he don't wanna spend time with me...I swear sometimes I can't stand his mutherf**kin ass.

Girl #2: Yea, I feel you. he be clubbin all night, getting drunk, hangin till 4am?

Girl: Not even. He always workin on that damn motorcycle, or goin to the gym...playin ball, doin yard work....Aint like he workin all the time! I'm like damn ni**a, do you not like pus*y?!

If you felt a sense of deja vu reading that convo or even laughed at the ridiculous back and forth banter, you too may be at risk of falling into the #1 relationship pitfall that no one sees coming! Ask yourself this question. Do you and your husband have separate friends and social circles thereby engaging in the healthy practice of not being up each others ass 24-7? Do you go out with your girlfriends and he his homies at least every few months? If you answered yes to those questions you probably think you're in the clear....fuck outa here. You wish it was that easy.

OK, so you work al day, hit the clubs with your girls or dinner with your man on weekends and do the family church thing on sunday. Splendid. La di fuckin da. What else do you do? you know, HOBBIES?!!! Thats what the relationship killer is...LACK OF HOBBIES!!! Think about the concept of a Jail breakout as an analogy.

I watched some dudes escape by meticulously sawing away at metal bolts night after night with dental floss and abrasive powder for 2 years. This type of persistence and ingenuity can only be obtained by having wayyyyyyy too much time on your hands. If these niggas could break out a supermax with no money and a pack of floss, imagine what type of break out from your household prison your man could engineer with an iphone, a desire for some new "pussy" and some cash.

Men and women with hobbies (drinking does not count) are more likely to have successful relationships. Women without verifiable documented hobbies will engage in the following, secret black ops underworld hobbies including the big 3 mentioned below:

1.) Creeping out to get di*k that she secretly thought about while having too much free time.

2.) Snooping through your phone, as unlimited free time gives her the freedom to try many different number combinations on your password lock.

3.) Performing extensive due diligence and reading your Twitter Timeline and facebook wall with a meticulous eye for detail, picking up on anything which happened since you started dating 3 years ago.

This being said I hope you think about the warning given, next time u decide that u want to buy ur girl the latest red bottomed heels to make her look like the flyest eye candy since Amber rose. Fu*k the heels! Buy that bit*h a Nintendo wii! Keep her mind and time occupied, give her good di*k and treat her like a child. No i dont mean beat her, or tell her what she can and cant do! I mean, sign her ass up for activities! Enroll her and yourself in a Co-ed softball league and then just don't show up. She still will! Hahahaha.

In the words of my man Tako..."Mannnnnnn, these hoes have too much time to think about stalkin us. They need a distraction. They need to bring Barbies back out, for grown-ups. LOL"

C4: Fools.



The Cardigan Villain said...

heat rock!

Rock said...

Bout time You returned lil Pharmacology nigga. LOL. I needed the extra inspiration.