Monday, August 8, 2011

Girls run the world...







This post has been in the making quite a while, as I usually tend to shy away from in depth posts which require me to write long paragraphs which may deter you from reading them. Solution? Break up paragraphs with pictures and sprinkle a Kim Kar-dash of funny shit in each. Not to insult your intelligence or anything, but i know niggas attention spans as I have been doing this for years...and its been working.




Tako: I'm sooooo getting my son that Teddy bear.



On with the blog.




While many claim selling pu**y is the oldest profession, I have to disagree and say that at least prior to the 1800's it was acceptable for ni**as to just take pu**y, thereby negating the need to purchase it. They still had to eat though, so I'm gonna go with either farmer or hunter gatherer as the oldest profession. Bartering (trading things) for pu**y, however, IS the oldest and most important SKILL known to mankind. Women weren't strong enough to kill Sabre Toothed tigers and shit, but they had to eat. What could they trade? The almighty Yam. As early as Eve, women knew the power of the forbidden fruit between their legs, and have learned to harness and use it.


Eve: Adam, I need to borrow your VCR to dub a tape.....



The problem with this, for women at least, is that in the year 2011, this once potent power has been diluted to the concentration of a Mike's hard lemonade. Men, once the Patriarchs of society capable of treating women like second class citizens (or black people...jk) have, throughout the ages, lost the stronghold of their penis propelled power (pause) and allowed the world to be sucked into a vaginal vortex...pu**y ran the world...until now.




After years of letting women make us engage in courtship rituals, hopeless romanticism, fight to the death violence and unabashed craziness, we men have finally broken loose from the spell cast by America's collective vagina. Women had the masculine world by the balls, but mistakenly lost their grip by getting greedy. They had it all, but wanted more. The wanted to be able to say "chill b" and openly talk about sex...they wanted to be able to have "side dudes or Flow"...they wanted to brag about their sexual conquests and say "I'm not a whore, just a women who likes sex." They, in essence, wanted to be like dudes. Big mistake.





By using the semi-ambiguity of the Internet to muster up the courage to openly talk about sex and degrade men, women let us know a.) they like sex as much as we do, b.) They are just as freaky as we suspected and c.) withholding di*k has nearly the same power as withholding the box. They fucked up by letting us know.





Fellas, don't go toasting those glasses of Colt 45 just yet. Women are smart, very smart. As a matter of fact, women are so smart that they realized that between men knowing the female's secret need for sex, combined with the recent influx of whores making it just as easy to get pu**y as it would be for a female to get di*k, that they needed a new way to control us...what did they come up with? Two things which have existed prior to their using them as an evil tool. Two things which we men were familiar with and which we viewed as "innovations in society as important to ones sexual well being as condoms and lube." Controlling women infiltrated Facebook and Twitter with men, still googly eyed over the prospect of easy internet pu**y from old classmates and new friends of friends, not even being the wiser.


Women use the internet to control us in three ways.



1.) If you are in a relationship, your girl will undoubtedly claim you via the "In a relationship with" button. If not, she'll comment all over your wall and stake her claim.






2.)This allows other women the chance to know your girlfriend's name, AND message her, should you decide to go poking your penis around in side hoes.


Let's say you have an agreement with a girl that she is just a side piece because you're in love with your wife, wifey or fat girl who pays your bill. If the side piece wants to get upgraded, she can simply send your girl a message, or try to be slick and tag you in a photo with her. Oh, you said it was boys night out but you're in a hotel with a woman? Busted. Go ahead and think you're slick...tell a side girl you dont have a Facebbok account...she wont believe you, and if she does, maybe you've gotten yourself an unintelligent sperm receptacle. Congrats.





3.) This third controlling mechanism is the most important because it applies to most of us. Women, for one reason or another, love to start shit. Little shit. Stupid shit. Just shit. What I mean by this, is that , ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE SINGLE, women will openly make comments to make it SEEM like you're going out on dates with or sleeping with them, just to discourage other girls...or make them jealous.





Men give a fu*k about sleeping with the best available girl, girls care about upholding their status as the queen bee-yotch. She may have not slept with you or have any interest in doing so, BUT she ain't gonna let some other bitch think she's flyer than her. We are being controlled by girls who aren't even important in our lives and dont matter!!! Well...you guys are.... Just sayin. Men are simply the runway upon which women do their best modeling impression and the podium upon which they engage in their best lyrical warfare against each other. We are no more, and no less.


We are territory to be marked, dick to be claimed....That's it...and simply because it allows us access to 1,000,000's of potential mates (even though we may have the one we truly want) we allow it to happen.



Once again, women run the world...and we let them.

Thanks Zuckerburg. Fucker.

Just something to think about.



-Bros


1 comment:

Piph said...

yea... that's true lol