Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Coretta Scott: Yeah, I held my Nigga Martin Down!





While everyone should be watching their hoes and making sure some morally deficient "new Nigga" isnt sippin moscato with her in hopes of bendin her over like a frail dude in jail, they have chosen to focus their efforts on contently fawning over Jay-z and Kanye and paying a semi-homo erotic homage as they "watch the throne."

Above average album from above average rappers, but this isnt a review.

After listening to the song Sweet baby Jesus, I just couldn't get the infectious hook sung by odd future's Frank Ocean out of my head. One part in particular makes my heart smile (no homo) and my brain go into overdrive at the same time:

"Sweet King Martin, sweet Queen Corettaaaaaaaaa......."



MLK: Just Call me King Heifner Beyyyatch. Where's my pimp cup?


Hopefully yall are smart enough to know he was referring to Coretta Scott King. You know? Martin Luther King's Chick? I'm sure yall knew that.

Anyway, this ultimately comes down to the burning question of "what do we really know about Coretta other than that she was MLK's Boo piece...and more importantly, do we care about her just cause she gave some pussy to our black hero? All his side pieces did the same thing.

Lets start with the facts...before she was old as fuck and reminded us of other grandmas, or a aging claire huxtable thrown in the sun for 10 years and left in the tub for 10 more, she was Baaaaaad. Michael jackson-Amber Rose bad. he heeee. Owwww.



Aside from that, Coretta was really the type of chick that all yall "Independent woman, niggas aint shit cause my baby daddy aint" type of hoes really want to be. Coretta really had her own shit going on way before Martin...She was kinda like the Gina to his Martinnnnnnn. Wzup...wzup...wazzzzzzzzup!!!!!!!!



Coretta went to a basically all white college (more than half of yall cant say that! and we all know that "if it aint white it aint right" JK) and even got a music scholarship at the New England Conservatory of music. Time Magazine called her a "talented young soprano" and NOBODY will even listen to your man's mixtape. She was beyonce, you are a flavor of love ho. Hahahaha.




That was a joke. Either way, Coretta married Martin in the 1950's (and my nigga, you do know women had like no rights back then, correct?) yet still managed to assert herself as a, pardon my french, "Bad Bitch" by saying (and this isnt exactly verbatim) "That 'To honor and obey?' Nah nigga, take that obey shit out the vows b." While she may have said it with a bit more class, they actually removed that a section from the vows, an act essentially unheard of and epically gangsta.



As if that wasn't enough, she held MLK down and had his back even though she knew he was havin crazy ass orgies with groupies (can we say Hillary Clinton, or YOU and your baby's father).More importantly, upon her husbands assassination, instead of hittin the Gucci store, she sought to find a successor to continue his movement, and when she could not, she took the reigns herself. She fought tirelessly and perilously until in 1986, MLK day was made a federal holiday. Ayo, nigga!!! Would your girl get you a holiday after you died? Or still curse you from the grave... "No good ass nigga, leavin no health insurance or life insurance...gotta pay for his funky ass funeral..."




And there you have it. You've been entertained a little and educated a lot. If you take anything from this post, know this. Coretta Scott King was a Bad Bitch...No, no she wasnt. Coretta Scott King was a stand up woman. Salute.


-Bros

2 comments:

The Notorious ZAG said...

Beautiful post: witty, informative and well written. I knew some of those fun facts about Queen King, but I can't say I knew it all. Thank you for teaching me something today.

Rock said...

The fact that even 1 person gets it is why i keep writing. The fact that my off brand cyicism and attemt at delivering message amidst the coonish chaos isnt completely overshadowed makes blogging worthwhile. Thanks Zaggy.