Thursday, August 4, 2011

Al. B. Sure: The Last Non Corny Lightskinned Dude

In today's society there is no class distinction between African Americans of different skin tones as there was during the Jim Crow era. What exists today is a distinct yet all too familiar manifestation of the "if it aint light it aint right" phenomenon via black males thinking its cute to say "oh, I dont date Darkskinned women" and praising the almighty yellow bone, publicly shunning any woman darker than a perfectly fried Chinese chicken wing despite the fact that in secret they'd knock the tar off that charcoal pussy.

Tako: And you were doing so well.....

To make things even more confusing, Light skinned men are viewed as.....well....corny. From Drake to Blake Griffin, individuals with unprecedented talent are characterized as cornballs simply because of the color of their skin and not the content of their character. Rev Dr. Martin Luther "I was vocal about liking to get my dick sucked" King would not approve. But is this racism, or simply a generalization made as a result of mounting empirical evidence? I believe the latter. Other than Obama, Freck Billionaire from Philly, Guda Guda from Young Money and possibly Joe Budden (and even he looked pretty corny apologizing after Raekwon punched him in the face) I cannot think of one non corny lightskinned dude since Al. B Sure, who was super swagged to the max even after his career was over cause he was fucking Punky brewster.

Tako: You're right, he doesnt look corny. Looks like he'll fuck your girl then fuck you up.

Show: And he was smashin punky's pumpkin.

Think about it. The "house niggas" were always viewed as the cooning, suck up corny ass slaves with no pride or shame. Kid from Kid n Play was the corny one, Romeo from Immature was the corny one , Raz B from B2k was the gay one....shall I go on? The best R n B groups of contemporary times were Jodeci (all Dark skinned) , Dru Hill (All Brown Skinned), 112(Brown Skinned), and Boys II Men (Dark Skinned.)

Does this make it OK to stereotype other Lightskinned types? No. Its never OK to stereotype...or at least thats what we tell little kids. In actuality, I hear "lightskinned dude" and automatically think Skinny jeans and a snap back a la Tyga's corny ass, or Nigga in dress clothes at the playground like Drake.

Tako: Hey Tyga!! Garfield was a Tabby Cat, not a tiger dumbass.

What the "corny lightskinned nigga phenomenon" has spawned, and from which a valuable lesson can be learned, is a rebellious spirit and unwavering desire to be anti-stereotypical. These guys are trying to be the toughest, most bad ass high yellow niggas since Bart simpson. Light skinned dudes are OD'ing on tattoos, rapping, cursing, beating women.... which brings me to their poster child: Chris Breezy.

Chris brown is trying so hard to be hard (pause) and rebel against the corny lightskinned nigga stereotype that he is actually turning into a rich, woman beating thug. This , my friends, is not the way to "bring lightskinned dudes Back" (into popularity.) What it is, however, is proof that noone is above the influence of peer pressure and projected self image. Tell little black kids that a dark complexion in wrong and they'll start bleaching their skin.

Tell them that school is corny and they'll start being thugs.

Sure it's easy to say that "well, the followers will always be followers," but this is much more complex than that. Constantly exposing children, whos brains arent yet fully developed and are malleable sponges waiting to soak up information and be shaped, to a stimulus which glorifies negativity while only enforce the behavior. Blacks were stereotyped as lazy, dangerous, sexually crazed and mentally inferior thugs for hundreds of years...and we rebelled against these stereotypes by working hard and showing discipline...lets not move backwards.

Lightskinned dudes, don't try to fight the inherent corniness which is not being a brown skinned brotha with dreads. Be an Al B. Sure, embrace your inner paper bag colored swag....or, if you're a little more akward and like to dress formal for casual occasions, embrace your inner drake. Do not, and this is of no offense to breezy who is just a product of conditioning, embrace your inner chris brown.

Do something positive you lemonheads.



The Imperial WJA3 said...

It's hard for me to give Al B Sure props when he's an absentee dad & Diddy took his kid as his own.

Rock said...

Don't be Cruel. (Bobby Brown Voice)

LadyNgo said...

Thats 2nd to last paragraph is the absolute truth!

But on a more minor note- i have to go on record and say that Romeo was not the corny dude in Immature/IMx. The corny crown goes to LDB lol. Every chick i knew- myself included still to this day- had a thing for Romeo (if they weren't scoping MH)

Lomba said...

I imbrace my mixed heritage! Loving it!!!