Monday, July 11, 2011

Chickenhead or the Egg...?

Happy monday!!! (even though I know the two words don't typically go well together.) Quit being a bunch of negative negro nancies! Be glad (if u have a black boyfriend over the age of 18) that he's alive and has his freedom! If he doesn't , well..... that God that you live in a nation where you can give him endless hood radio shout outs as he listens from the clink. :) Goodmorining Yams.





Today's post is an attempt to answer age old question , "what came first, the chicken[head] or egg?"



Tako: Baby chickenheads, or chickadee's, are born and bred from Mama chickenheads or Pterodactyls (old birds) , so naturally the Chicken came first.


Wja3: I think that there's a better chance an egg or embryo existed after the Big Bang rather than a full grown organism coming from nothing...so I'd say the egg.


C4: Showrock's no scientist....I feel like he's gotta be going left field on this one...


I am a scientist bitch... A scientist of swag. Nevertheless, C4 is right. why should an egg be defined as the female produced seed of life that dudes skeet on to get u preggo? Why cant an egg be the shell which physically encapsulates you until you have reached gestation and break through its thin walls? Nigga's hear "egg" and automatcally think Child Support or Bacon. This is bigger than that.




That being said, the egg came first. Let me explain.





Whenever we hear the word "chickenhead," an image pops up in our heads whereupon girls dressed like the hoodroaches above proceed to pop bubblegum, snap there necks and pat their multicolored weaves. We expect Chickenheads to dress and act a certain way, because it is this way of dressing and acting which defines them as chickenheads. Suckin dick? Fucking for VIP club entry? That's just regular hoe behavior. Chickenheads are a special breed.


Even tho her mama may have gave her the KFC Gene...



Being a chickenhead is more a result of environmental causes, all of which cause said chickenhead to remain with a physical and mental shell. The shell may be the pissy section 8 apartment that she shares with her 3 kids....it may be the pristine Bmw 325 with a lease that costs more than she receives from unemployment (thank god for the subsidy she earns doin Hurrrrr [hair] on the side...or the shell may even be her 12 channel basic cable subscription that constantly shows her commercials for tractor trailer school and those dreaded Branford Hall / Penn Foster "career" schools as the only options for life improvement.



Maybe your shell is dating drug dealers or guys in jail so you will constantly feel superior. The point is, being trapped in a shell is a result of not knowing any other way that that which equals your comfort zone. Chickenheads are comfortable in their feathers. Lol.





The age old hood saying "if you knew better, you'd do better", has never rang truer than when discussing the chickenhead cycle. Physically bound like a Chinese woman's feet, chickenheads are content trapped within the thin shell, marinating in their own creative chickenhead juices, until they finally mature and hatch...breaking through the shell only to still remain mentally trapped in a similar shell. Rather than step outside her circle of chickenhead friends, she chooses to be the best chickenhead she can be, side by side in a pack of similar girls who have not yet realized that chickenheadedness is undesirable. There is a reason eggs come in dozens, just as there is a reason the term "dirty dozen" was spawned.




Tako: She bad though. I'd beat raw.


C4: smh.


For those who think I'm merely talking shit and not reinforcing a point, I offer you two Modern day examples:

Passports:

Hahahaha. Chickenss dont have passports because traveling any further than Miami Beach would force them to break out of the shell.

Tako: what about jamaica or cancun.

Theres weed in Jamaica and coronas in Mexico, these are the two favorite stateside past times of the Chickenhead faction. Be careful! These are the most dangerous chickenheads, the MVP's...the Scottie Pippenheads. They can emerge out of their shell like a tortise just long enough to pop bottles, smoke and fuck...then they retreat back to the safety of their hopefully bulletproof shell.



Automobiles:



Ever notice that most Lexus's (aside from the Old White man SC convertible and Privileged white boy with spiked hair IS 300) are driven by older black women. Birds with money. Why though? Black guys like Escalades, suburbans, Denalis and even BMW 750's, but why does wifey always get the Lex?



My theory is that the 1st nigga in hood got a discount on a Lex...before they were all the rage, and gave it to his Baby mama or wife. Rappers look up to drug dealers and promote excess so they naturally bought 10-15 Lexus's for their entourage. Women realized that the Lexus was the drug dealer wife car to have, so they started fucking drug dealers and rappers to gain the coveted spot. Next thing you know, the "all the ladies, that's independent" Beyonce shit came out and ladies began saying fuck niggas, I'll get my own lex. I'm shittin on these other bitches. Enter a viscous cycle of keeping up with the Shanequa Jones's. Why not get an equally expensive Volvo, or Audi? Because...Shanequa got a Lex, and I'm shut that bitch down.




Breaking the shell would involve too many unknown variables in a culture where no one wants to pioneer a path into the unknown. Why do you think Jordan's sell out so quick?



Everyone is jockeying for position inside a communal shell where the objective is to be a better looking version of the same thing.

In the end, that's why we say the Egg came first, as noone wants to be a lobster...just the fanciest crab.

Oh you fancy huh bitch ???


Get a Fuckin passport.




-Bros

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