Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Life and Times at Hoodrat High....

I got on the guys yesterday (pause) about their thirsty habits and lack of refinement, so it would only be right that i verbally accost the female population for today's morning rant, no?

It's summer so I could talk about the girls with open told sandals and no lotion with their feet lookin like a pair of Cool Greys (Jordans)...

Or I could chastise women with baby fat from 3 babies ago squeezing into pum pum shorts and Daisy dukes with their pimply, stretchmarked gut spilling over their waistbands looking like chocolate chip muffins...but that'd all be too easy.

Tako: That Tattoo..."Lick it like a Lollipop". LMAOOOOO. I cant......

Wja3: You just said "I cant". You're a Twitter Gay.

Some, not so cultured women tend to let the heat go to their brains and tend to dress inappropriately. These are the same types of bitches who wear head scarves and pajama pants in public, so them acting out in truly ratchet fashion really isnt that big of a deal. That being said, Im not going to "go in" on the way females have been dressing this summer, though it's disgusting. What I will bring to light, however, is the fact that hoodrats are unintentionally rotting our brains. Let me explain.

People are quick to blame reality shows for the deterioration of primetime TV, just as they blamed its predecessors (Daytime talksmut like Jerry Springer and the Maury Show). Daytime talkshows get less flack these days because the powers that be (aka Corporate AmeriKKKa) have decided that noone is home to watch it but welfare moms, stay at home moms (the white version minus the welfare) and the unemployed who havent gone job-searching that day. No harm no foul.

Same goes for all the primetime "bachelorette", "Mob Wives", "NFL Baby Mamas" TV shows out there...right? Wrong.

Actual Real Life Convo:

Girl: Oh, I gotta run and go watch me some BBW.

Lefleur: You watch BBW? Stop playing,

Girl: Guilty Pleasure...hell yea i Do.

Lefleur: Damnnnn....I aint gonna lie, I watch Big Beautiful Women porn from time to time myself.

Girl: I was talking bout Basket Ball Wives.

0__O . -----> Whoops.

Primetime reality smut HAS been criticized and rightfully so...problem is, they forgot one LARGE problem. Reality TV is exponentially increasing the classlessness & ghettoness of all hood female populations which indirectly affects us, like it or not. While we may not watch Basketball Wives or Jersey shore, we are forced to willingly and unwillingly enter into interpersonal relationships with the women affected by a condition described in the Psychological DSM-IV manual as TVHRS (TV Hoodrat Syndrome.)

To make matters worse, Twitter and Facebook force us to tune into the daily trainwreck that is their lives each and every day, thereby getting us HOOKED on the daily drama.

It's not a racial thing. All these hoes are dumb. We've got white girls lookin like snookie...

C4: Looks like Night of the Living Poofs. I need a silver bullet, a garlic clove and some tanning oil.

Black Chicks are getting Booty injections to the point of looking ridiculous...

Tako: All that Azzz in dem Jeans...(Waka Voice)

And rican girls are getting Fake eyebrows and Mr. Potato Head Lips just to look like "the girl that's on TV..."

Show: I Mutherfuckin CAN'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's too early !! (Mom from Friday Voice) . But I would.

Worse still, WE ARE THE ONES BEING AFFECTED! We get used to this new "look" and ruin our perfectly good relationships by a.) staring at these titty monstrosities and booty anomalies and LIKING it, b.) feeling the need to constantly lurk in the harlot's den that is Facebook and her slutty sister's whore combine known as twitter and c.) inject artificial drama into our relationships just because we're becoming junkies for hoodrat adrenaline.

Guy: "Woman I said White Chocolate Chip cookies not regular! This!!! I cant!!"

Girl: -___-

Once evaluated with a clear head (pause), one thing becomes painfully obvious. We dont delete the myriad of hoodrats from our pages, and oftentimes, we encourage their hoodrat behavior by "liking" statuses and following them on twitter. We friend their friends...we give them fuel for their fire...We don't choke them with a silver nameplate & stab them in the heart with a Jordan heel thereby performing a hoodrat exorcism, and you know why? Because we like it. We like the drama. We're addicted to the constant stimulation. We have turned into menopause aged Spanish bitches tuned into our daily novela "The life and times at Hoodrat High."

Is this proof that we all need an escape from the 9-5 grind and the monotony of the workday? Proof that every guy's carnal desire is a sex crazed, unintelligent, rough around the edges hoodrat?

No. It's not. It's really just proof that no matter how smart we get, the MAN will find a way to slow our progress and what better way than social media transmitted via the hoodrat mule. We're too smart to smoke crack, but repackage it as "television" and slip it inside the vagina of a yellowbone with booty injections and it's a dangerous convo....

Maybe i'll have a taste, but just one....

To be continued...

-Show's Bros (pause)

Follow Us: @Lefleur456 , @C42yaDoor, @Wja3, @EasyMoJay, @FilthyMacFergy, @The1QDub

And @NappyHeadedBros

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