Anyone who follows this blog regularly knows that a.) I try not to get too personal (other than to tell crazy stories) and b.) I was in a 4 year relationship which ended with my ex somehow being deported to the Darfur region of Africa. OK, that's not confirmed, but she "could" be there and I wouldn't know or care. Salty, eh? Lol.
The reason I mention that is because it's very important in the grand scheme of this post.
Many men, day in and day out, are forced to deal with women with baggage. Sure you all think its cute to come up with little sayings like "A real man will accept that women come with baggage and will help you carry those bags" but in actuality, it sucks having to break through an emotionally guarded force field caused by another niggas inattentiveness, ineptness and mistreatment.
This does not even begin to account for the products of these dysfunctional relationships (i.e children) or the indirect consequences (i.e. bad credit cause u put the motorcycle he wrecked in YOUR name.) These things fuckin suck, but we are aware of them and deal with them.
Now, in order to not be a complete chauvinist,and do my ladies a solid, I'm going to give u the skinny on Emotional male baggage, using myself as a case study. For you see, ladies and gents, I NEVER EVER EVER EVER had baggage, until a girl messed it up for me...and it's not the girl you think. Her I may curse to holy high hell and not speak to, but I'd never speak ill of her openly...she doesn't deserve it.
Ok, so the girl who ruined it all.
Tako: So it's not the ex who you charge with "cheating" or "Pre-cheating" as you call it?
Tako: Not the girl who had you leave all your other girls, and fall for her only for her to go back with her ex?
Tako: WTF Son....then who is it?
It's a girl I dealt with after my 4 year relationship...a girl who I thought was cool, but ended up having one of those "complicated" situations, which basically means, I'm in a relationship but it sucks so I don't claim it. The obvious, and erroneous , "real nigga response" is always to say "It's cool. I wont get all up in your business and wont ask questions I dont want the answer to."
DON'T DO IT. DON'T SAY IT. DON'T BUY HER THE CHEDDAR BISCUITSSSS!!!(Boondocks Reference)
Once you become comfortable with the "Army relationship" , Don't ask don't tell, you have officially broken your emotional baggage virginity. You can no longer laugh at the other guys who "are always stalking their girls" , "wifin in the club", "not trusting any female" and the like. How can you trust someone if you are essentially ALLOWING them to lie, or purposely withhold information? You can't. That's the answer.
What happens in the end is a slippery slope of allowing more and more ridiculous shit to become permissible. Oh, she's broken up with her ex but they share a cell phone bill....not my concern. Oh, She's had her number for 10 years so random guys still call her in the middle of the night, who cares..she's with me. Oh, she's going out on a date with an "Old friend", but who cares, she's coming back to me.
(You say he's just a friend...oh baby youuuuuuuu)
All variations of the same thing. Men becoming comfortable in their new found role as jumpoffs. Never been to her house, but been talking for 6 months? You may be a jumpoff. I dont know when this became acceptable, but we men are falling victim to this phenomenon at an alarming rate. Think of how much emotional baggage the average jumpoff has...now think of yourself as you slowly walk that long ass path like it was el camino de santiago de Compastella. Smh.
That being said, yeah bitch I've got baggage...but you've got baggage, mad kids, a pissy apartment and fucked up credit. Lol.
Just showing you that we're real people too.