Friday, May 6, 2011

The Girl Who Messed it up For Me

Anyone who follows this blog regularly knows that a.) I try not to get too personal (other than to tell crazy stories) and b.) I was in a 4 year relationship which ended with my ex somehow being deported to the Darfur region of Africa. OK, that's not confirmed, but she "could" be there and I wouldn't know or care. Salty, eh? Lol.

The reason I mention that is because it's very important in the grand scheme of this post.

Many men, day in and day out, are forced to deal with women with baggage. Sure you all think its cute to come up with little sayings like "A real man will accept that women come with baggage and will help you carry those bags" but in actuality, it sucks having to break through an emotionally guarded force field caused by another niggas inattentiveness, ineptness and mistreatment.

This does not even begin to account for the products of these dysfunctional relationships (i.e children) or the indirect consequences (i.e. bad credit cause u put the motorcycle he wrecked in YOUR name.) These things fuckin suck, but we are aware of them and deal with them.

Now, in order to not be a complete chauvinist,and do my ladies a solid, I'm going to give u the skinny on Emotional male baggage, using myself as a case study. For you see, ladies and gents, I NEVER EVER EVER EVER had baggage, until a girl messed it up for me...and it's not the girl you think. Her I may curse to holy high hell and not speak to, but I'd never speak ill of her openly...she doesn't deserve it.

Ok, so the girl who ruined it all.

Tako: So it's not the ex who you charge with "cheating" or "Pre-cheating" as you call it?

Show: Nope.

Tako: Not the girl who had you leave all your other girls, and fall for her only for her to go back with her ex?

Show: Nope.

Tako: WTF Son....then who is it?

It's a girl I dealt with after my 4 year relationship...a girl who I thought was cool, but ended up having one of those "complicated" situations, which basically means, I'm in a relationship but it sucks so I don't claim it. The obvious, and erroneous , "real nigga response" is always to say "It's cool. I wont get all up in your business and wont ask questions I dont want the answer to."


Once you become comfortable with the "Army relationship" , Don't ask don't tell, you have officially broken your emotional baggage virginity. You can no longer laugh at the other guys who "are always stalking their girls" , "wifin in the club", "not trusting any female" and the like. How can you trust someone if you are essentially ALLOWING them to lie, or purposely withhold information? You can't. That's the answer.

What happens in the end is a slippery slope of allowing more and more ridiculous shit to become permissible. Oh, she's broken up with her ex but they share a cell phone bill....not my concern. Oh, She's had her number for 10 years so random guys still call her in the middle of the night, who cares..she's with me. Oh, she's going out on a date with an "Old friend", but who cares, she's coming back to me.

(You say he's just a friend...oh baby youuuuuuuu)

All variations of the same thing. Men becoming comfortable in their new found role as jumpoffs. Never been to her house, but been talking for 6 months? You may be a jumpoff. I dont know when this became acceptable, but we men are falling victim to this phenomenon at an alarming rate. Think of how much emotional baggage the average jumpoff think of yourself as you slowly walk that long ass path like it was el camino de santiago de Compastella. Smh.

That being said, yeah bitch I've got baggage...but you've got baggage, mad kids, a pissy apartment and fucked up credit. Lol.

Just showing you that we're real people too.



La Rubia said...

This makes me sad, even though it's vague...did all of those things really happen to you? The mental image of you pulling up the covers while your lip quivers as you realize you're being played while she scoots out of the room with her phone in the middle of the night is just too much! Kidding. It is sad. I do have to ask though...was she a Latina?! ;)

Rock said...

Why's it matter if she was latina? And, I think the answer's obvious. lol

La Rubia said...

It only mattered for reaffirmation. SMH...that means you never learned any of your own lessons?! The teacher got taught! That IS sad.

Rock said...

Sad yes, but not for that reason. I'd never generalize a race of people other than to say black people cook with more seasoning.

La Rubia said...

I was reaffirming the invalidity of your claim that you "aren't exclusively a latina man"...I was referring to your "lessons" about jumpoffs. Stay with me, son.

Rock said...

Ahhhh. Well played. I forget what I'm up against sometimes.

La Rubia said...

I'll say! She must have took your A game along with your heart. And, re: seasoning, latinos trump blacks, blacks can, sadly, only trump whites in that dept. I'm really sad're, like, GONE! :(

Rock said...

Now I feel you're just being incendiary. Southern blacks trump Latinos in the seasoning department, though they do have us in the Pork Shoulder department exclusively.

A game gone? That's laughable. I'm always on.

La Rubia said...

Okay, now, unfortunately you've never lived in the South. Adding tabasco and LARD to every dish does not a better seasoning make. It adds fat and heat. Come on, don't throw your latinas under the bus, seasoning is a matter of over all flavor, not just heat, saffron, tomatillos, chile, I'm getting hungry, thanks! Just admit defeat, I totally nailed you on this one on every point. I'll play the older AND wiser card here, that'll give you a pass, and make you feel better, because you still have your youth. Except, I do look younger than you!! Crap, I guess I can't give you anything, you'll just have to admit defeat. Sorry.

Rock said...

And Show wins again.

Black people don't use Tabasco...we use Frank's Red Hot and Lowry's. Even in evoking the synergistic power or Mexican and Puertorican Cuisine I can't give them this one.

Also, fat is what best holds and keeps flavor hence Blacks and Latinos penchant for pork.

Also... I'd rather be young than look says my heart. Pow Pow.

La Rubia said...

You're biased. As an objective whitey, I still say I win. Lowrys is better than salt only, but it's essentially salt. Franks, Tabasco...whatever you're splitting hairs based on preference. The core ingredient is HEAT. In the south, at the buffets, there was always tabasco on the table next to the salt...

...touche on the youth issue. I'll give you that. However, you're moving further away from your sexual prime and I'm moving closer to mine, so I guess that's a gender based moot point.

But I am wiser, at least about life: I'm not anyone's jumpoff! Ouch! ;) I am kinda sorry about that one. But that last part was just you being mean, you forced me to go there.

Ganador: Rubia!

sunshinestar110 said...

What a minute....did you just get real real on me?!? I was not ready for all that *wipes lonely tear*

This post just made me sad...and that is not why i read this

This made me want reevaluate my life real quick and call all the dudes i played back and say my fault...i was young! I'm sorry that happened to you and you deserved so much better...

Ok now lets go back to fighting about men with hoop earring on twitter lol