Wednesday, April 13, 2011

You named your baby what!!!???

Show: In terms of racism, on a scale of one to Jenna6, today's post is rated a solid 5 nooses. Take it away Tako...

Black people, white people, Peppericans and Asians all choose to name their children based on different cultural traditions, rules and parameters. While Asians tend to make up gibberish that we don't understand like Zen Xioa Chang General Tsou, and various other things they've obviously emulated from a Bruce Lee Sound byte, White people (non-hippies at least) tend to go with the "what would be a good name in the tradition of those already withstanding in my family" method of child naming.

"White Family Portrait"

"Black Family Portrait." I'm kidding. They are just coons.

Latinos go with the names of patron saints and diosas as if these mexican Gods will protecting them and stop the catholic Gods from fucking them up as they fornicate before marriage, all the while praising el hijo, el padre y el espiritu santo in THE CATHOLIC CHURCH.


Black people, on the other hand, tend to fall into the trap of picking names based on "oooooh appeal." Oooooh appeal usually applies to wanting representatives from the general public to hear the name and say "oooooh that's clever", "oooooh that's unique", "or oooooh what a nice name." Problem is, oooooh often turns into in ohhhh my Gawdddddd these coon fuckers have bastardized yet another potientially good name, or "oh lord that name is paris hilton dumb."

Now.... Before you think I'm racist, I want to say that this post isnt even about the regular made up names where black folk add L's, D's and apostrophe's (D'michael, L'michael) to regular shit. This is about the names so dumb you cant ignore them. That being said, White folks make up names too, like Tuladoesthehulafromhawaii. <<------Click the link bitch. Remember that? Where the judge ruled to change the parent's dumb ass name because it embarassed the child? Unfortunately, for those making the equity case, however, the proverbial white "THEY," do it much less frequently than US.

Now... My ex-gf worked with 2 twin brothers who both had the first name "babydoll" with middle names like "james" and "eric" , so they were called "babydoll james" or "babydoll eric." Dumb.

Worst, or funniest...I'm sorry, most unique, however, was a girl who happened to be bff's with a co-worker of mine. Her name was Le--a.

Show: Pronounced Leiah? why the unnecessary dash?

Tako: Nah nigga. Pronounced "Le-dash-a."

Show: Oh my fuck.

Worse still, today marks the beginning of a new era. I have found one even worse thanks to the ol' boy Scoochie man lefleur. This was not photoshopped and is someones ACTUAL NAME. I don't speak ill of the dead (it's an obituary), so I'll let yall do it in the comments section. LOL.


-Taka Flocka Flame, one hood ass nigga.


khaki la'docker said...

the dash dont be silent LMAO

MW said...

Is this true? I feel like I've heard this "L-sha" story from two other people. Two people who don't know each other. Is this an urban legend, or can you find proof of this?

Like with all Black people I meet, I want to see the birth certificate.

The Notorious ZAG said...

Grew up with a girl with one such name. One that means Sex with French. Yup. Niggas need to just stop.

adameliclem said...

There are regional hot spots where the incidence of white people crafting dumb names goes way up, particularly in the belt running from San Francisco up to Seattle. Allison? Meh. Alysoun? Goal!

Vineeth G. Zillah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Vineeth G. Zillah said...

What's wrong with naming your child after the beautiful, adultrous act by which she was accidentally created?

I'm glad Dom is dead though. Niggas drink Cris now. "Dom P be tasting funny."