Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Women cause 95% of crime, be it directly or indirectly...

Of all the subjects we make commonplace on the NHB blog, we really haven't yet tackled homosexuality (PAUSE) , except for the constant and jovial use of the term no homo. Today will be no different.

I do, however, have to lay down (pause) a bit of demographic information to solidify the merits of my argument. Approximately 1-5% of the United states is exclusively homosexual. While it can be claimed that the number is much higher because the stigma of being gay may cause a phenomenon of under reporting, I am choosing to ignore that. Let's settle on the fact that 5% of the US are homos.

That being said, 5% of crimes committed in the U.S are not the fault of women.

C4: No matter what this half-baked theory's a Stretch

Tako: Did your girl tell you to say that? Or are you a 5 Muslim. LOL.

Wja3: Oh lawd.

Think about it...

Every crime has some female element at its core, and it's been this way since them tryflin bitches Helen and Athena caused havoc during the Trojan war. (<----Click for background).

Even in today's society you cannot name a crime that wasn't instigated by a woman...other than jail rape, but even that is a power-driven simulation of sex with a woman. No women around? Find the next best thing (EWWWWWW. PAUSE) See? Women are to blame for jail poop-chutery.
DUI's? Tell me that that dude wasn't on his way to meet a woman, on his way home from meeting a woman, or finishing off a night he spent drinking and hitting on women.

The only outlier may a DUI caught while leaving a football or basketball game...but fuck it, why not blame the cheerleaders.

Tako: Preach it son!!

Crimes of passion?
Obviously the fault of who...?

Tako: A woman!

That's right my friend, every crime, down to the drug dealing and terrorist activity in the middle East is the power of the P-U-S-S-Y. What? Yall women wanna cite the power of the puss every other time its applicable...can't back out now!

Wja3: Terrorism? Really?

Yep. I swear they're promised 40 virgins for each suicide bomb attempt, or at the very least, a plethora of Bin Ladens left over street urchin hoes.

C4: Drug Dealing?

Yep. Crackheads often suck di*k for rock....and for those not pervertedly disgusting dealers, the end all be all is not crackhead sex, but new clothes, money and cars....why? To impress women.

"But officer...I had to sell drugs to feed my kids...and buy all these fitteds to impress bitches. "

Now I know this seems misogynistic and foolish but what it really comes down to is this. Women are such an integral part of society that we are willing to rob, steal , damage communities and kill for their love and affection. Sure we may force them to live under glass ceilings thereby protecting our own status as bread earning men, but in the end, we'd be nothing without them. Sure they say, behind every man there's a good woman (I see you michelle O'"Alien-lookin" bama), but lets not forget, behind every bad man, is a woman he's trying to impress or get some moo shu from.

That being said, yes women cause 95% of crime, be it directly or indirectly...

I, however, wouldn't have it any other way, as this passion...this desire, is really what makes life worth living. It's just important to note:
be it AIDS, Baby father's with knives, car accidents or stress related heart attacks....Pussy Kills.
Live for the pussy, but don't die for it.

-Those oh so foolish Bros

1 comment:

Gavino Brown said...

Those are words to live by.