Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Protect ya neck!

What the French, Toast? !!! I always wanted to say that line from the Orbit commercial. So what? I'm strange. That being said, Today's poignantly potent particle of pop culture poison (no BBD) is brought to you by Showrock as stolen from my boy Killa Cam(bell). He does a weekly list of shit me and his other sick in the head yet socially aware homeboys should read. Check this out: From CNN: A Radio Shack owner in Montana has upped foot traffic at his Hamilton store by offering free guns for new satellite television subscribers, according to a local paper. Fear not, those opposed to gun ownership and those who might fail background checks. You can have free pizza instead. The sign says it all: “Protect yourself with Dish Network. Sign up now. Get free gun.” (The real marquee has no periods, so I took a little punctuative license.) Owner Steve Strand told the Ravalli Republic that the promotion “really, really fits the Bitterroot Valley,” while manager Fabian Levy told the newspaper that the gimmick had “been really successful.” Strand said the promotion, which began in October, has tripled his business and lured hundreds of people curious about the sign. Only one person who “didn’t understand how it works” has reacted negatively, he said. “We have people literally stop in to take pictures of the sign,” Levy added. Simply sign a contract, purchase certain equipment, set up an installation date and congratulations! You could be the proud owner of a Hi-Point .380-caliber handgun or a 20-gauge shotgun from Frontier Guns & Ammo, which is just north of town. If you don’t want a gat or can’t pass the background check (which the Republic reports is also free with the satellite TV subscription), you can still have a $50 Pizza Hut gift card. Strand told the newspaper that other Radio Shack owners in the state were too scared to follow his lead. Even Dish Network had its doubts but agreed to the idea after months of talks with Strand, the newspaper said. “They've never had a gun promotion before, so they're a little nervous about it,” Strand said. “It's been an uphill battle with Dish.” Wja3: Wowzers. Tako: Clip up (Styles P Voice). C4: Ummmmmmmmmmm..... Yes! Somebody has finally upheld our constitutional right to bear Arms. As the resident NRA member, I can wholeheartedly say that I condone this sort of exercising of our constitutional liberties and am proud to live in the greatest country in the world. Just kidding. Brazil probably has better bitches, Russia has bigger tittied bitches (See mediatakeout map...) Red = Larger than D...Orange =D...Yellow = C....The rest = Kill yaself. jk. Let's be honest, I just like this sign and promotion cause its some straight up COONERY...no, straight up FUCKERY. Best part? Like Jersey Shore, it is NOT BLACK people promoting nonsense. Phew. No racist. C4: But how do you know it's a white store? This is an alley oop by the way. HA. a.) You think they would give niggas guns? b.) Aint no niggas in Montana c.) You think niggas credit is good enough for Dish Network Tako: Sheeeit. I'm only half black and you can "tell congress I'm still stealin cable" (Plies voice). Nevertheless, I think this is a hilarious yet effective marketing scheme. Research the market and cater to your demographic rather than a politically correct notion of what your customer's should want. Rednecks in montana want guns, so shit...give em guns! They can go out and buy em anyway. Why not lock someone into 3 years of 150 a month cable at the price of "one burner." 150 x 12 x3 = $5,400. Minus the original firearms investment of about 200 bucks and they are still UP $5,200. THIS = WINNING. It is, however, still some coon shit. The funny thing is, because of the Al Sharptons and Jesse Jackson's of the world telling us that "the man is out to get us" and priming us to be so racially sensitive about EVERY goddamned issue, white people are now able to take advantage of ingenious, unconventional marketing schemes we have essentially pigeon-holed ourselves OUT of. Think about it black business owners. Try to sell Coogi sweaters by giving away free chicken wings or bullets and see how fast your establishments get shut down. I tripple dog dare ya. Just some food for thought. -Bros Article from: http://news.blogs.cnn.com/2011/03/28/montana-radio-shack-offers-free-gun-or-pizza-with-satellite-tv-purchase/?hpt=T2

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