Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Keeping it 100 on the Japanese Earthquake


Soooo. Last Friday an earthquake hit Japan. I know you're thinking, no shit Sherlock, it's all over the news.

But think about it...how many niggas watch the news everyday (with the exception of people with kids just checkin to see if there's gonna be a school closing.) I, for one, read a lot on the Internet but don't really watch the news...except on Wednesdays at 11:00pm cause it comes on after Law & Order and I'm too lazy to get up and change the channel. Keepin it 100.



I say that to say this.

Even having not watched or read any news in a few days, nor had any conversations about current events with friends, I still knew EXACTLY what was going on in Japan and Hawaii, based on Facebook and Twitter. Sure we talk a lot of shit about Facebook being a resthaven for chickenheads and an unfiltered discussion board for all things dumb, but in the end you have to admit its pretty fucking powerful. Sure I never take the time to read the links my boring friends post, but i at least check the headlines to....you know....stay current.

That being said, I know a lot of you don't even do that. No offense.

So, here goes...The Earthquake & Tsunami in Layman's terms.

5o Cent's Tweet #1 [Paraphrased]: The big wave in Hawaii is supposed to hit at 7'oclock. I bet these crazy ass whiteboys are gonna try to surf on it.

50 Cent's Tweet #2 [Paraphrased]: This shit is serious! I had to evacuate all my hoes from Hawaii, Japan and LA.

The Skinny on what this means:

A massive 8.9-magnitude quake hit northeast Japan on Friday, causing dozens of deaths, more than 80 fires, and a 10-meter (33-ft) tsunami along parts of the country's coastline. Homes were swept away and damage is extensive.





What not to do during this tragedy :

1.) Make reference to Tsunamis when talking about your 360 spinning waves.



2.) Make Earthquake references in rap songs (it's too soon)...Even Earthquake is not allowed to make those references in stand-up routines. Sorry dude, inopportune time to have that name.


3.) Ask the question "would they care if this happened to us?" (It's irrelevant as we're discussing human life.



4.) Tell distasteful jokes. (50's was funny, but Gilbert Godfrey's was not and he lost his job as the Aflac Duck as a result.)




What to do:
1.) Google a few News articles and read up on the tragedy before sounding like an uninformed jackass.

2.) Donate money , if you have it.

3.) Remember that it, like Hati and Katrina, is a tragedy ...not a competition to see who's race of people will be helped the quickest.

That is all.

Prayers to those affected...and especially Tako's grandmother with that Beyonce booty. Yowwwwwa.

Tako: You just had to throw that one in there eh? I didn't say anything about your mama's Lisa Raye booty when Hati blew up.

Show: Cause I'm not hatian.

Tako: Your hair says otherwise...and didnt I see you eating dirt cookies the other day?

Show: F**k you...now hurry up and donate some money to your brethren...I don't want my sushi to...

{Remainder of comment deleted by C4. Show & Tako have since been entered into sensitivity training.}

Remember, this blog is of a tongue and cheek nature and often shocks in an attempt to educate. That doesnt make Show & Tako any less asshole-ish. That being said, educate yourself on the tragedy and do whatever you can to help.}

-Bros

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