It's been almost a full year since the dreaded day and I still cannot think of anything that I regret more than not making you stay and holding this thing together. I guess in a way, I took you for granted...I assumed you'd always be there, and assumed that no girl, ever... Would leave me for another. Sadly to say, you did... And I have No one to blame but myself...well, myself and you... But that's your own karma you've gotta work on.
That being said, Facebook, I write you this final love letter. While I appologize for any hurt I may have caused, I realize now, that the only way to truly distance myself from the sorrows of solitude is to write you this letter and expose my innermost feelings.
I have loved you since the days of your infancy, when you were a social hub for the 8 ivy league schools exclusively. I have watched you grow into a billion dollar conglomorate, all the while picking up the most undeseriable traits. Perhaps it is good we are seperated...
I do not care about the empty promises of a new you for 2011 which will undoubetedly turn into rants against "bird bitches" doing "bird shit." ironically, these types of posts are the ones who make you look like the biggest non-yellow bird in America.
I do not care about what your unemployed ass did at the park with your kids all day... I don't care what you cooked for dinner as you haven't saved me a plate. I do not care to see what whore-ish outfit you wore to the club in NYC last weekend, nor will I respond to your open ended question of why every man you meet only wants sex. It's cause you look like a ho, act like a bird and both of these individuals are know for fucking indiscriminately.
I don't care what YouTube old school jams you are watching and which apply to your particular mood. I don't care to read your status about being broken hearted or on cloud nine as a result of some other dude 10 minutes after you cancelled our date for a bullshit reason.
Don't give a fuck about that quote you stole from a book you didn't even read. Don't want to hear how hard you are on your grind, nor see the pics of you with money when I know you're broke. Don't want to hear about us men being ain't shit.... You are unmarrried with a dead end job and mad kids. You're quite the catch.
What I meant to say was I love you. I love you, however, for what you can be rather than what you are. I'm not trying to change you, but I realize that in order to be with you, even casually, I have to change myself.
That being said, I'm gonna make a change (MJ Voice). Eeeee Heeee! I'm gonna keep fuckin with you, but we can't be exclusive. I have to see you for what you are... A good time, and the girl who has my heart. Maybe someday I'll have yours too.
Light the candles, throw on that Teena Marie and Let's facebook fornicate tonite and not worry about tomorrow.