Thursday, September 30, 2010

Ignorant Songs You Should be Listening to but Aren't Listening to Yet #1

Don't fight it, son! It soothes the ignance in your soul...


"WJA3, the Bl-O.G., drop some ignant musical knowledge on me!" - The Fans

Well alright, then...

When I was a teenager in the mid 90s to the early 00's (What is the official term for the last decade? Early oh oh's sounds like what you'd call sex for the 1st 5 minutes), artists were a little bit more subtle in how they serenaded women into the sack. You had songs like Jodeci's Stay where K-Ci and Jo-Jo begged the chick to stay (so they could get the smash. Ralph Tresvant went the route of the sensitive guy, in order to get that smash. Johnny Gill gassed up females with a fake stutter with "My My My" in order to get them in bed. Even back in the day, Teddy Pendergrass was asking for a Love TKO (a polite euphemism for the smash). Fast forward to present day, the music artists aren't quite as subtle with theirs. They don't even need to know how to sing anymore. This leads to the ignorant song that you should be listening to but aren't listening to yet #1, Ms Parker by Young Money.

Lil Weezy & Mack Maine break out the autotune machine where they pretty much repeat for 5 minutes "Ms Parker, Ms Parker, when you gonna let a nigguh fawwwwk? Ms Parker, Ms Parker!" At first, I thought they were talking about Mo'Nique or the little fat girl from Moesha.

While the idea of smashing Mo'Nique is just disgusting & brings up my lunch just thinking about it, the daughter had her good days. I could forgive Young Money for doing a song about her if they wanted to show love to the big girls.

However, after a couple of listens, I realized the song is really reference to Ms. Parker from Friday, who was a milf/cougar before both terms became a part of pop culture.

So why should you be listening to the song? Well first of all, it features Lil’ Wayne, who’s real popular these days. He had to be higher than usual when he created this song, which when you think about it has its own entertainment value considering Weezy is always high. If you want to get real analytical, the song reveals the mindset of dudes when they feel they’ve reached success. Young Money is definitely feeling themselves PAUSE, throwing humility out of the window, and boldly get to the point without all of the pleasantries.

The song itself is very decent musically. It has the 2 ingredients that make folks like a song despite how annoying it is: It has a beat that will make dance and it’s catchy as hell. As we’ve seen throughout rap’s history, you can get away with all kinds of misogyny if the song is hot. Listen to Ms Parker once and you'll be singing for the rest of the day "Ms Parka, Ms Parka....when you gonna let me fawwwwwwwwwk, Ms Parka, Ms Parrrrrrrkah."


-WJA3

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Return of the Double Down! Be Afraid, Ninjas...


It's back! The sandwich that the black, the obese, and the black and obese all salivated over this spring. The rest of us, in disbelief that a widely accessible breadless wonder masqueraded as a sandwich could even exist, either shunned it out of protest (C4) or were so curious that they HAD to try it (Show and WJA3). I guess enough people were curious and/or were shameless/black/obese enough that KFC decided to bring it back, but not without upping the ante on marketing.

Many of you may rightly or wrongly suspect this "sandwich" of being another government conspiracy to slowly kill black people, using the subtler "heart disease" route as opposed to the more swift and deadly "crack addiction" or "AIDS." The formula of chicken-sauce-cheese-bacon-bacon-cheese-sauce-chicken is cleverly diabolical by itself. Your friendly neighborhood Blog Killah is considering joining the dark side more with every word I type. But that's not quite what this post is about.

You see Nappy Heads, the even more sinister genius of capitalism comes in the form of KFC's new marketing strategy for the Double Down. They're paying attractive female college students $500 to wear red sweatpants with the KFC Double Down logo across the butt. No gas.


EEEEEEEEEVIIILLLLLLL!!!


Now I don't want to be racist against my own, but who is going to be most seduced and hypnotized by this campaign? Let's analyze the formula:

Greasy Fried Chicken + White Woman + Booty = NIGGAS!!!!!

J/K (kinda). Any man would be more inclined to go buy that shit with that kind of advertising. And at $500???? You know how much $500 cash is to a college student who lives off meal plans, dollar menus and bursar charges? Hell I'd wear those sweatpants for that right now! Pause. The money helps the degradation go down real smooth. Pause.

As a matter of fact, why don't more companies use this tactic? Why must this be limited to overpriced clothing for preppies, hipsters, and hoodrats? I would market products on these female backsides like shaving cream, football games, condoms, televisions, insurance plans, beer, NappyHeadedBros.com, church functions....ANYTHING!!!

Maybe you could get promotional models with special pants with an electronic scrolling marquee with a bunch of different ads in rotation?



The technology necessary to pull this off would surely make the booty of the wearer of these pants look Nicki Minaj-esque.


KFC of course is getting backlash from feminists, dudes who wanna smash feminists, the socially responsible, etc. Do they care? Probably not. It's all publicity right? Sex sells everything else, right? Why can't it sell chicken?

(video of the news broadcast below)



Tuesday, September 28, 2010

It's Gucci Time!

So.....Shanga, Fish and I did the tunnel to the towers run and saw this girl running while holding a Louie Vuitton Bag.




I guess if you're from the upper west side you have to look the part. Smh. Her friend was running with a fanny pack gucci bag. Fail.


Shanga: Yeah, between her and the people running with 1,000 pound video cameras it made it a little difficult to run the course.

Show: Yeah well, at least the Matilda looking bitch we saw getting off the subway wasn't running in her ridiculous get up.



C4: Oh lord... And speaking of gucci's bags... I just found an ok'd picture of show when he had the BMW with the fugazzi gucci's seats...

Wja3: Oh hell no. How did this not make the Hogwash Tomfoolery scrap book?




Lefleur: That right there nigga? That's the definition of Coonin'.

Show: I was young!! And it was dope!!! Just like this!




Lefleur: Womp womp. You probably think dude with the Gucci tattoo looks cool...


Show: Oh my fuck! Where did you find that!!! I am in tears. Gucci should hire Him in corporate. Lol.

Lefleur: No they should not. Btw, this is a Nappyheaded PSA from which Showrocka is not exempt. There is never an excuse for bootlegged, excessive over-gucci. That is all.

- The Bros... Straight Clownin.

Friday, September 24, 2010

A Busted Condom: Blessing In Disguise?

Nope. Not the blessing.

Tako Tsou has had an epiphany he must share with all you Nappy Heads out there. It's so profound, I used my government AND referred to myself in the third person, so you know I ain't playin. Aight here it go.

So I'm smashing this FINE bitch the other night, admittedly riding without a helmet nahmean, and it got real good to your boy. Real good (you know where this is going). Now normally I pull out faster than Clint Eastwood's pistol in Dirty Harry, but this time I was too slow on the draw, and there was spillage in the village (and by village I mean pu-na-nayyyyy).

Now there's drama. "Oh shit, WTF" etc. coming from shorty and from me (for show, I wasn't that worried). Now we gotta get the morning after pill cuz I'm really not ready to bring any more racially mixed children into the world, mentally or financially.


So many emotions happening so fast.

"Shit did I get her pregnant?"

"Not again."

"Damn now I gotta drop $50 on that pill."

"I don't get paid til Thursday."

"Fuck."

"How long is that shit good for?"

"Right, 72 hours."

SKEEEERRRRRRRTTTTTTT!!!!!
(energy efficient idea!)

HOLD UP. I have 72 hours to stop the process of conception. That means I also have 72 hours to bust mad more nuts off in this bitch!!!!

YAY!!!

So I marked the time and notated in my mental notepad Monday, 9/20/10, 10:07PM. Why? Cuz you can only get her pregnant once, that's why! If a kid's on the way, that lil nigga's on the way, so I might as well reintroduce as many unborn kids to each other outside the nutsac and inside the va-jay-jay. Fuck it! Have fun! Bone at least like 10 more times, and each and every time just go ahead and give her your all.

"We got 72hrs of heaven on the way, baby..."

It's like having her on birth control, but just temporarily. And let me tell you, it was the shit! I was hitting it with reckless abandon. I was busting all crazy like TAKA! FLAKA! TAKA! TAKA! FLAKA! TSOU! TSOU! TSOU! POW! POW! POW!

Then Thursday came, direct deposit went through, she took the pill (right after we got one more quickie in). I'm so sad now. I could've bought weed with that money.

I'm back to condoms, but if ever that condom should break, I'll know what to do.



TAKA! FLAKA! TAKA! TAKA! FLAKA! TSOU! TSOU! TSOU! POW! POW! POW!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

The Truth about Dimepieces: Dating them is Gay



"I'd Take two Nickels any day over one dime" - Showrocka 2007 , from "She needs it."


Tako: You still holdin true to that statement?


Show: Ehhhhhhhh. I dunno. All things being equal, i.e) they can all cook, or all treat you relatively the same, I guess i'd have to take the dimepiece.



FYI: A dimepiece, in the urban vernacular is a universally standard term for a girl who is a perfect 10, or at least the closest thing to a perfect ten as accepted by most men.


Tako: OK. So it's established...Dimes are the holy grail. Now...what about this...One dime and one absolutely average girl that we'll call a 5, or two overly attractive girls we'll call 8's.


Show: The dime and the 5.


Tako: Just as I expected you to say...way to fu*k up your average. You've taken an average of 7.5 over 8. Either you're horrible at math or fall into the same trap as every other dude in the world in thinking that dimes have magic beans in their pu**y or will turn you into superman. Nope. It's just pu**y like regular 8 pu**y. Difference is, this....



Having a dimepiece on your arm gives you a sense of self validation. Sure the sex may be great, but an average, above average or ugly girl can provide the same. There's no coorelation between intellectual stimulation and the dimepiece factor so it all boils down to one thing. Men like dimepieces because it gets us props from other fellas or makes other dudes hate on us.


We are esentially dating for dudes. Pretty fuckin gay, eh?




I have more dimes, and my biceps bigger. look son.....no homo.

Show: LMAO.



The obvious rebuttal is this..."I'm more attracted to dimepieces." People say that, but in the end, the term "dimepiece" becomes subjective. One man's dime is another man's duck (Short for ugly duckling.)


Lefleur: Take for example, those dudes like S-Kash who say they only f**k dimes. The same S-Kash who says Show only messes with ugly girls...or big girls...or whatever....


S-Kash: It's true.


Lefleur: How is it then, that you (S-Kash) and Show have f**ked with so many of the same girls??


Show: Word!!! Mary J, Bags, lil, K...should I keep going?


S-Kash: Stop>>>>Wowwwwwwwwwwwwww.


Wja3: Yall niggas reckless for naming names.


That's what I'm saying though. Yall are proving my point. There's a discourse between fellas about who 's track record or dime history is the best. Unlike girls who are too busy comparing the di*k size of guys they slept with, or assuming guys are in it strictly for the body count, dudes are actually off being gay and trying to impress other dudes.


That's why both my baby's mothers are ugly. They can cook good, f**k good and make pretty babies. Pretty babies impress pretty bitches. I'm not trying to impress no dudes. I feel like having an ugly girl is the straightest thing I can do. Keep your dimes...you downlow ni**as!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hahahahaha.

-TS


Show: Nah, don't put my name on this. I'm still into dimes. This is a Tako Blog.

S-Kash: You never were into dimes little ni**a.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

The road to Vick-tory

In an attempt to garner as many "Will Smith's" aka a Blog vote signifying that the readers think my post is "Corny", I offer you this.


My Philadelphia Eagles are 1-1...Thanks to Mike Vick, not Kevin Kolb.





All men who aren't from Philadelphia will hate on this because all men who are heterosexual like football and if you arent an Eagles fan, you should dislike this.

All doglovers will hate this because they act like Mike vick is the only person to ever harm a dog. How bout you go chase down that dude from this Weeks America's most wanted episode who was gassing beagles and hound dogs with carbon monoxide?





Cops: Convicted N.J. Arsonist Tries It Again


New Jersey State Police and the U.S. Marshals are on the hunt for John Schlump: A convicted arsonist who they say tried to kill his estranged wife by setting her house on fire. But she fought back, thwarting his alleged plans. Now Schlump's on the run, and cops need your help getting him behind bars.

There. I've done my good deed for the day.



Vick's paid his debt to society...quit bringin up old shit!



This one was just funny though....I couldnt resist. Sorry Vick.

Anyways....the moral of the story is, Mike Vick is back and I expect you all to hate on that. Mcnabb is looking better than ever (Fuck him and his gay yellow redskins pants), and we of championship breed (What up Chad) who don Eagle green are forced to ride with Kevin Kolb as our great white hope. Womp Womp. We'll still back him up, because thats what Philadelphia fans do. Is it wrong that we all are kinda hoping he has a career ending injury so we can put ol' boy Vick back in the game.

What?

He's obviously a starting quarterback and last years not so stellar performance was obviously a result of...ummm....I dont know, maybe his BEING IN JAIL FOR 2 YEARS!!!!

I'm just sayin. Welcome to the Mike Vick Era.

Don't like it? Well here's a nice message from the Real Niggas of America Society.



-Show

Breaking News Update: This post was written on Monday, and as of Tuesday Night, The Eagles have named Mike Vick (No Vapor rub or Homo) as the starting QB. Yea Buddy. The Bros speak (albeit Subliminally) and people listen.

I cant wait for the Redskins game....Mcnabb Vs. Vick....Black on Black....fuck the soul bowl, let's call it "crime." LOL.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

We got crack at the house





Friend #1 :Nigga got mad at me cause the crackhead gave me dome.

He was like, I'm the one who promised her crack.

Show: whaaaaaaaaaat?!!!

So apparently friends # 1 and 2 were driving around the hood, picking up some new clothes from a baby mamas house before hitting the next club.

C4: what did they spit up on themselves or something? Who changes clothes in between club hopping? Where they do that at!!?

Tako: Who says "spit up"? We ain't talkin bout babies nigga.

Wja3: C4 1, Tako 1.

Anyways...so the two dumbmigos run into a moderately attractive white girl who, by virtue of her being in the hood at this hour, was obviously up to no good.



Sidenote, this is the sane hood where Lefleur's mom has to spray prostitutes with the hose just to keep them from loitering on the stoop. This story's not about Lefleur tho... Honest.

So snow white asks the boys if they have any weed... Ganja.... Piff.... Purp....whatever choice word you use to describe your greenery.

Thinking quick, and knowing that even naive white people aren't dumb enough to walk around at midnight for some "weed", friend # 2 responds "oh we got it all."

Girl: You got crack?

Tako: and this is where these niggas should've deaded the convo!!

Show: word on the street is she didn't look like a crackhead AND had all her teeth.

Logical niggas woulda hit the typical "crackhead-AIDS" or "Crack-setup-jail" thought association button, but fool # 2 responds with "yea, we got crack at the house" and hoe-white proceeds to get ready to hop in the whip.

Unbeknownest to friend #2, friend #1 had already started his car and pulls up aside the two standing outside. The girl hops in #1's whip and he instructs #2 to follow.

Next he follows the Nappyheaded official protocall... When in doubt, pull the meat out!!!

C4: bet it worked...

Why yes, C4, it did!! He drives around pretending to be lost while she sucks him off, then dropped her off on a street where she could get some real crack. She gets out and he burns rubber like ghonnerea on a lambskin condom.


Dueces.

Friend # 2 gets mad and friend #1 gets tested. Just another Friday night in Nappyville. Haha.

-Show

Monday, September 20, 2010

What's Up With "Females"???


You know how you hear somebody trying to say something smart/profound and they use certain words to let you know how profound they are trying to sound? But then the use of that very same word tells you that they are actually not very smart at all? Like the way a convict will use the term "incarcerated," for example. Well in my NappyHeaded opinion, the same goes for the use of the word "female" when referring to a woman.

Examples:

"Why do females be acting like that?"

"You know, as a female, I believe that it's important to __________________"

"See the problem with females these days is ________________"


Pardon my French, but WHAT THE FUCK IS A FEMALE?!?!?!?!?!

A female what?

A female race car driver?

Female rapper?

Female bodybuilder?

Female jet pilot?

Female horse?

Female porcupine?

Female condom?

Female hummingbird?

Female Rattlesnake?

The female reproductive parts of a flower?


WTF are you referring to when you say female?!?!?!

How old is this female? Is she a girl or a woman? Is she human? You see how non-specific this term is? You could be talking about anything. It's just an adjective. It's an incomplete thought. And this troubles me because we in the black community readily accept this terminology as legitimate, mostly because the alternative is too often to finish off the description with a five-letter word for a female dog.

Where my bitches at?

But for my money's worth, I'd prefer one go ahead and say "bitch" instead of female, because at least it's specific, if not also dehumanizing. I feel like when we use the term "female" to describe our women, we are implicitly denying their humanity as women, and the weight that must be given to the term "woman." For you see "bitch" can it least be flipped and become empowering for those who wear the name proudly.





"Female" is like a rice cake. It's plain, inferior, and has no potential to be anything great.

And it's not just men saying it. Women often refer to themselves as females in serious discussions, something they wouldn't do with the word "bitch," for example. I feel that in doing so these women, often black and latino, are selling themselves short, and if nothing else reinforcing a subliminal belief of inferiority.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm no saint or college professor. I talk about bitches all the time. Bitches I see, bitches I meet, bitches I knew in college. But I recognize a difference in meaning and connotation that exists between "bitch" and "woman." A different but equally important distinction between "woman" and "female," except it goes unnoticed far too often, and it's not okay to ignore it.

This has been a Nappy Headed Public Service Announcement, courtesy of C4.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Showrocka Comes Clean: An Untold Story

Sometimes things just can't be mentioned while they're still fresh...you have to let them wait a year or so, sort of like the unwritten rule between me and the boys that no one would try to holla at Bianca until at least a year after her baby's father was thrown out that window in west philly and died.


To date, about three people know this story. Caveman, Box and Shanga. Now, hundreds will know. No intro needed.


Sunday Morning, Summer 2009


Shanga: YO!!! It smells like a gas station bathroom in there. You ever walk into a gas station bathroom and wonder, how the fuck did it get this bad? Smells like there's probably shit on the walls!!!


Show: Yeah man. It was a bad night. Shouldn't have eaten that chorizo.


That was the extent of the explanation that was given and that's how it stood for about a year. That is, until summer 2010, when I decided to spill the beans.


Sunday Morning, Summer 2010


Show: Remember the "Gas station bathroom " day, at your house party?

Shanga: Hell yeah, how could I forget....you sprayed like shit on the wall or something.

Show: I'ma keep it 100. Here's what really happened.


There was a party at Shanga's house out in bumblefuck CT, about an hour from anywhere in the woods. Socks was there, Beth Money was there, Los was there, Big B was there Sha was there and Lana was there, looking good enough to eat...seriously. (Well, she was looking good enough to eat until we used her iphone for something and realized she didn't clear her google search history. "Vaginal puss" / "Red bumps" / "Sexually transmitted disease timeframe"). Yeah, can we say turn off.

This was worse than when I smashed _______, only to wake up in the morning and find this on the counter!!!!


Caveman thought this was hilarious...I did not, even though she said it was for "something else." But that's another story for another day.


So I show up at Shanga's and proceed to get Dr-unnnnnnnk. I am drinking some sort of Dogfish Head (Pause) Ale which has so high of an alcohol percentage it's marketed as a "six pack in a bottle." I had about 2 before my stomach got to bubbling from the chorizo con Juevos I ate earlier. Now Shanga lives in a Duplex where the bottom floor house is a huge office. The party was in the upstairs house.

Show: Son, lemme get the keys to the office. Gotta take a mean dump.


No one wants to dump in the middle of a party, that being said, i took the downstairs keys and bounced. By now I am mega-super-quadruple-extra-excessively-messy-dangerously drunk. I cannot find any lights once i reach the bathroom. I am searching and searching fervently for a switch but cannot find it and I am struggling to keep my butt cheeks from exploding. I can feel it, I am about to shit all over myself, at a party, in a pitch black room. I'm sweating, almost vomited and think I may have even shed a tear because of the pain.


Then I bump into a pedestal. The sink! The light should be close by. Can't find it. Can't find the toilet!!! Fucccccckkkkk!!! It's gonna blow. I cant see anything. I feel for the edge of the sink and let it go!!! Better than shitting on myself. That is until I finally found the light and saw the aftermath.

I scooped about 2 lbs of soft serve ice-cream looking shit out of the sink using my hands wrapped in paper towels. Then I scrubbed the floor to get rid of the sink to toilet trail left behind. I finally sat down on the toilet and proceeded to wipe myself clean, only to have Sha bust in with her nosey ass and scream "Ewwwwwwww." The smell grossed her out. She proceeded to tell everyone at the party about my mean dump.


Caveman: Can you imagine if she came in while you were scooping shit!!!!


I got up to realize shit had gotten all on my jeans while scooping, fuck!!! These Jeans, which have been thrown in the trash.




Lucky for me, I had some sweats in the car and a spare hoodie / drawers. I told Shanga it was an emergency, to bring me my keys. He hesitated thinking I was driving home drunk. Once he dropped them off, I sprinted to the car, (Shitty jeans in hand), put them in a plastic bag and hid them inside my car's rim. Couldn't have the whip smelling like booty juice.



Went to the party in new clothes and that was that.



And they say I never blog myself. SMH.

-S-Rocka (The S stands for show...not shit.)

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Wocka Flaka Shame

So I had a longer blog for you guys today, but then I said ehhhhhhh fuck it.

It's my blog and I can do what I want to (Cindy Lauper Voice.)



:)-NH

Tako: Lesley Gore sang that Dickhead.

Show: You're gay for knowing that.


Anywho, I was watching 106 and Park the other day (Don't judge me, it was for socio-demographic research) and saw my man Wocka Flaka Flame on TV, talking about....of all things..."Voting."

Hilarity Ensued. In case you cant see video, hilights include the following...





Wocka :Votin....ummm...Votin good...cause thats what you supposed to do. Nah, Ummm...I aint gonna lie. I dont no what them people be talkin bout. Ummm....Let me get a do over.

Terence J: You can't get a do over Wocka. This Live TV.





Rocka Springer Final Thought of the Day:

People are quick to dennounce Wocka's music because its violent, promotes gang affiliations and drug dealing (in addition to the fact that it sucks) but fail to look at the culture which creates the uneducated mutherflockas by promoting an ass backwards value system. Play ball or rap about how you dropped out of school and we will pay you a few million dollars. Become a teacher we will pay you $40,000. Go to college and we will stick you with hundreds of thousands of dollars plus accumulated interest.


A basketball only costs about 14.99. Everybody makes beats and for under 300 dollars, the street value of 30 bags of sour or about 15 of them things, you can get decent recording equipment / softwear. Sure, we're laughin at this nigga who isnt even articulate enough to articulate the fact that he can't articulate to us that he knows jack-dick about voting, but guess what? He's making more money this year than you and me probably will ever make in our lifetime. Jokes on us.


That being said, this nigga better keep me entertained!!! Get on more shows and say more dumb shit. Pow pow pow pow!!!!!!!

--It's Rocka!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Straight (Gay) Dances: The Sexy Walk

So apparently n*ggas think that just because you're dancing while doing something, it makes it not gay.

Now mind you, I have nothing against homosexuals...no homo...it's just, um.....whenever I see uber straight guys trying to act "hard" (Pause) while doing something blatantly homosexual it kinda makes me wanna chuckle and say "ummmm, son. Where they do that at?" (Don't worry, the coon-ness of Krump Dancing will be part 2 of this series of posts).







I'm sure you're all familiar with the Solja Boy dance which had us twistin and jumpin around like coons. Then there was the "Lean with it, Rock with it" which added the first questionable move into the mix...the finger snap. This was, up until this point, the gayest dance move since the Cry Baby.




It almost felt like you should be saying "haaaaaaay" while doing it. It was cool though, cause thug niggas was doin it too.





Two years later, this stuff called "Baltimore club music" came along which had black people of all walks of life dancing to pseudo techno music and sweating like it was the early 1990's Poison BBD days. Somewhere in between selin drugs and killing people, Philly & B-more cats found time to come up with the peculator. SMH.










Yes, my niggas. The Peculator. And they tried to pass it off as Gangsta...SMH.



Even Gringos can do it!


At least it didn't sound inherently gay...so If you never seen the thugs doing it, you wouldn't know.

Enter the newest New Jersey Dance Craze: The Sexy Walk. SMH. You know that's gonna look gay just from hearing the name. Best line of the night was from the DJ..."Oh yeah, Niggas be sexy walkin too". LMAO.








This second video is a little longer, about 10 minutes, but well worth the watch as it takes you into the "sexy walk Culture" diving into an in depth look at a "Sexy walk Party." Yes, you heard that right, a Sexy walk party. SMH.










I also want to give an honorable mention to the other New Jersey Dance Craze the "Patty Cake" for sounding just as gay. People often mix the two dances together, concocting a virtual Margarita of gay. Bet they even put a little sugar on the rim.SMH. LMAO.

That's all I got, but damn....I think thats enough for one day.

SMH (6th usage in this post....all justified.)

Now Walk it out.


-SSNH

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Top Three Freaks in Recent Nappyheaded History

Its fall!!! So you know what that means? Time for the bros to act like blatant homosexuals and even change our background to foliage. Kidding. We are having serious layout issues so if anyone has any IT knowledge get at me (pause) or C4.


And now, for your viewing pleasure...The Mexican reporter (Ines Sainz) the Jets are in trouble for sexually harassing.






Now I don't normally blame the victim....but I'm just sayin...reporters aint supposed to look like that. I'm just gonna stop there.



This post is actually not about her, or gay foliage , or the Jets...It's about Freakin'!!!!


Top Three Freaks in Recent Nappyheaded History


Disclaimer: I am not speaking of promiscuous women or Michael Jackson Esque Oddities when I say "Freak." In the Nappy headed Vernacular, "Freak" is when you are dancing...really hard. Pause.



3. Heineken Bucs

Compared to #1 all of these freaks are tame, so I'm just gonna breeze right through them and get to the good stuff. You know how that "I'm big and I'm proud so I wanna wear sexy shit" girl is always in a circle dancing with some skinny nigga who a.) likes big girls or b.) wants to prove he can handle all that meat ? Well yea, that night Buc Dinero was that drunken dude. It's all good and well until the freak turned to "Freak Nasty". Night ends with Buc and big girl gettin sweaty on the dance floor, and a Heineken bottle being eased into her butt. Onlookers were astonished, hilarity ensued.


2.) Gettin Hungry in the Club

Freak of the year #2 involves ________ actually having the Audacity to eat pu**y in the club while dancing. LMAO. I'm sorry, I had to leave names out to protect ni**as identities. I don't normally do that, but the homie has some dirt on me. So it begins with a tame "back on the wall, her butt on your junk" kinda freak. Next thing you know, the patron got dudes feeling like they're brian pumper and lifting girls in the air. All in all, still not that bad. But, but, but,but wait it gets worse!!!! (Onyx Voice). ________ slips on some spilled drinks and falls flat on his back with said girl on his face. Most people would get up off the sticky floor embarrassed....not them. ______ pulls the girls thong to the side (she was wearing a skirt) and proceeds to eat that thing like Prosciutto & Melon. LOL. No one saw, and no one was the wiser. Silly people dancin on the floor. LOL.


1.) Meat Whipper

How could it get worse than that, might you ask? Ask Lefleur's little homeboy, which we are gonna call Le-pieu. Yea nigga, I just met you last week and you already made the blog. SMH.






So in case you couldn't get it from the screen shot texts, Le-Pieu was dancing at a house party with a big sweaty, precious looking wild hog. Not only that, he was suspending himself in the air with his legs on a kitchen Island while freaking this girl and eating cheese ITZ off her back. Next his drunk ass was freaking her with her ass up, face down in the refrigerator, smacking her butt with frozen meat while people sang "who want the meat?" At one point I believe he had a hand full of ground beef that he began putting on her back. Probably cooled her fat ass off. LOL. Oh yea, lets not forget, this was all done while Le-Pieu had a mouth full of frozen Waffles. Lil niggas be wildin'!!!!!


Word to Ryan Beheezy. LOL.

I'm out.
-Show