Thursday, December 23, 2010

A Showrock Christmas: Bah Humbug



Normally Christmas, (Not X-mas because I could've sworn that a cross was the symbol for Christ and not an "X") is a time for people to be all pseudo-family orientated, fuzzy, warm and gay. Let's sing X-mas carols and thank the lord for all that the lord has bestowed upon us even though we're really thinking "fuck, I'm broke and I still gotta buy gifts for all these niggas. I never get what I want. I kinda wish they wouldn't buy me shit so i could save my money."



I mean, other than the fat white guy with the Freeway beard in the red velour jumpsuit, I get it. Christmas = jesus's birth, advent, his second coming, yada yada.






The kings (no, not the Latin ones) brought him gifts (Gold, Frankenstein and Murr...or something) and all was well. Well...guess what? Most of yall niggas don't deserve gifts anyway? Want a new car because you have important places to go? Oh, that's nice. Jesus had important places to go too. You think those places you have to go are more important than where Jesus had to go?


Naive blog reader: ummmm...no.

Show: WELL THAT NIGGA WALKED!


LOL. I think I heard that on an old comic view...you know, back in the Earthquake (they gon' start chargin us for Air) , Cedric the entertainer and D.L. Hugley days when it was still funny.


Anyways, I'm sure you're wondering what my point is in being a scrooge. Well, this is it right here . C4 says fu*k Christmas. He's a hater. I say what better time to give you my list....



Show's list of things I am not Thankful for


10. Girls with Ex-boyfriends.

Stop cuffin and let her breathe Bruh.

You're welcome Mr. Billings.


9. Middle Aged Women with Fat Legs in Tall ass leather boots.

They are sexy, just not on you.


8. Fu*ked up Tattoos

There's really no excuse. You know its gonna be there forever.


7. The mutherf*ckin auto tune.

C'mon Jamie Foxx....you can actually sing. What are you doing? As for Diddy and Ron Browz...just stop. Immediately.


6. Fat girls takin pics from the neck up.

We know you're fat, this doesn't hide it. Either we're attracted to big girls or not. Simple as that.

5. Uneducated people trying to act smart.

Yea I'm an Ivy League prick, so what. Some people are smart, some are dumb. It's the way of the world. When a dumb person asks a question it makes you want to educate them and make them a tad bit smarter. When they go off on their own and try to act smart....well....the make themselves look like bigger idiots. :/

4. Facebook.

So much to say here. I swear I am the main culprit. I find myself doing things just so I can talk about them on facebook. I swear I interrupt myself from doing things I like just to let other people know I'm doing them.


Super unnecessary facebook habits:

Checking in.....especially at your house or in bed.

Telling Facebook goodmorning and goodnite.

Taking pics of your food.

Fighting "via wall statuses" with people who dont even have FB accounts, just to get your hatin ass girlfriends to click the "like" or "that nigga aint shit" button.


3. The 4 Loko Ban.

This is America...and while 4Loko was a detriment to my marathon training, I am Against America Making Decisions for us. 4 Loko isn't killing people, stupid mutherflockas drinkin 4 loko like its kool-Aid are killing THEMSELVES. Also, Malt liquor has been doing this to blacks for decades and noone cared. Just sayin....

2. C4 and Wja3 Blogging whenever they feel like it.

Yea, I called you out suckas. What you gonna do about it. What you gonna do!!!!!!!!!!!!


1. Ungrateful People.

Cherish what you have cause it can all be gone in an instant. You will be left home, sad and alone. You may tr to overcompensate or replace what once was, only to no avail. If you appreciate someone or something, let them know...better yet, show them.



That being said, I truly miss you and love you...4 Loko.






-Rocka-Claus.

5 comments:

Alovelydai said...

I can't come up w/ anything clever to say b/c I'm too busy laughing at this Gold, Frankenstein and Murr..."

The Imperial WJA3 said...

I have 2 blog entries on backlog. I'm good until April.

Rock said...

Wja3, that's correct. You're well past your quota. Appreciate it.

Showstopper said...

low blow smh

Rock said...

No low blow, just real talk. If you love someone you let them be happy regardless of whether or not you agree with the decision. Why should your ex hold you back.