Thursday, December 9, 2010

BET Uncut Hall of Fame: NSFW

Yesterday's post inspired us to think back to when all the dirty ignorant videos were on BET. Yes I know that time is still now, but I mean officially though. Remember that moment, by accident, that you found out your boys were also up at 3am watching BET Uncut? That was awesome. This naughty phenomenon of bouncing asses, jiggling titties, simple and devilishly addictive videos were like a ignorant coontastic candy for guys the way that women watch Real Housewives of various cities. Most of the videos were crap, but some were just gold. You waited up til 4am waiting for them to come on, and you still love them today. Let's take a dougie down memory lane, shall we?


1. Black Jesus - Tell Me What That Thang Smell Like

This bad boy put Uncut on the map. It's the epitome of a BET Uncut video. The quality is so low that in the club scene (an empty club by the way), you can see shadows in the background from the camera guy (I refuse to call him camera man). The name of the group of two fat niggas is BLACK JESUS, and they're making a song called "Tell Me What That Thang Smell Like." Just process the ignorance contained in the previous sentence. But the hook is so fucking catchy though! Unfortunately I can't embed it off Youtube, but here's the link kiddies

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IEuJkYRggA&feature=related


Show: Fu*ck all that slime. You forgot the most important part. The bouncer at the club was making all the girls play with themselves so he could smell their finger before they gained enterance to the club!!! Thats pure fuckery fam.

2. Nelly - Tip Drill

This video was the most popular one ever because it came from a legit rapper. Nelly was selling more records than Jesus when he did this joint and it got big enough that they boycotted him at Spelman College. It's the best video quality of any Uncut video, catchy as hell, and has classic lines like "It must be your ass cuz it ain't your face." And the credit card swipe I think made it on CNN.



3. Ludacris - Pussy-Poppin'

Loyal readers will know we're no Luda fans, but you gotta get points for rapping from between the legs of an upside down stripper, and for naming your song "Pussy Popping." Great strip club video, you feel like you're really there.

Show: Boooooooo. That stripper was probably a damn tranny. Ol' punk ass bitch ass, sucka ass, sell out ass, skinny nigga with a pot belly ass Luda-Chris bridges. I aint hatin tho. He's just a hoe.



4. Joker The Bailbondsman ft. Bizzy Bone - Money in a Ziplock Bag

This Alaskan rapper had other Uncut joints like "Let Me See That Ass Drop," and "Club Hoppin'" but this one with Bizzy takes the cake, mostly for how high and hilarious Bizzy Bone is. And for the asses. Don't forget the asses.



5. Mighty Casey - White Girls

Undisputed Classic. Between lines like, "Don't tell Minister Farrakhan, he don't know what's going on," and straight ignant moments like rapping and pretending to get head, this hilariously off-beat funny-looking mulatto man makes this list for humor factor more than anything. Like the Bros, Mighty Casey is an Ivy League boy, except he went to Harvard. How do I know this? He used to work for a South Bronx after school program with one Jazzy Jen. How you go from Harvard to that video to community development I don't know, but that's kinda cool.



We miss anything? Let us know in the comments.

-Bros

4 comments:

The Imperial WJA3 said...

OMG!

Did y'all really forget the greatest BET Uncut video of all time: Time for Freakin'?!?!?!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_5atHGkyWM

The Imperial WJA3 said...

An under-appreciated one

The Last Mr Bigg - Trail Time

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJhrtCa4JyI

Epitome said...

I'm so glad mighty casey made the list! As soon as I saw the title I said to myself 'white girls better be on here...he didn't have ass and titties bouncing around but that shit was funny'

*walks away from post singing whiiiiiiite giiiiiirls...running throughhhhh my mind*

MW said...

Although 2 Live Crew's 1989 supposedly explicit "Me So Horny" probably predates BET Uncut by at least a decade, and certainly pales in comparison to these gems of rap and hip-hop, this whiteboy tongue-in-(ass)cheek cover/parody is great:

Richard Cheese - "Me So Horny"

Hearing a lounge singer croon "Your Dad will be disgusted when he sees your pussy busted" just tickles me in all the wrong places.