Tuesday, November 16, 2010

United States of Philly Hoodrats???

The most popular young black women in entertainment right now are Rihanna and Nicki Minaj. The young black women and adolescent girls around the country watch them, envy them, and emulate their styles. This is a huge problem. This problem isn't because I think they're bad role models or because I don't like them, but because of the stylistic effect that they are having on young black women. Let me explain.

Unlike a Beyonce, for example, whose aesthetic popularity comes from a place of "classic" or "mainstream" beauty, Rihanna and Nicki both use eccentricity as their calling card. Problem is they've done it so well that they're everywhere and they, and their looks, are mainstream.

Result? Young black girls all over America are starting to resemble ugly Philly hoodrats. I'll explain later. First, Nicki.

Nicki Minaj

The so-called "Black Barbie" took a few chapters out of the Lil Kim book then wrote a thorough appendix to include multiple voices and accompanying personalities into her act. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but the manifestation comes out in the form of body suits and multi-colored hairstyles, mostly achieved through wigs.


Rihanna used to go the mainstream "I'm pretty look how hot I am route" when she first hit the scene five years ago, but with Beyonce already holding that market down and having almost zero personality, singing ability or stage presence, her promo team smartly had her turn the other way and be the spunky "good girl gone bad." Our first popular black emo kid, if you will (Prince doesn't count he's fucking Prince. Respect.) Her look has been getting gradually more avant garde with time, as we'll note in this little montage.

First there were these...

Then this...

....and now she's doing that stupid ass black Katy Perry thing you saw in the first pic.

And now my point. 85% of regular chicks out there CANNOT GET AWAY WITH THESE LOOKS. Nope. Sorry. It ain't working. And this is why. When a girl goes all in and shaves one side of her head and blows out the other, or starts weaving pink streaks into her jet black processed hair, one of two things will happen. Either...

A) A woman plus or minus a couple points from average will go from boring to intriguing, catapulting her into a new, hotter category of woman


B) That same girl and her uglier counterparts will end up looking laughably worse, silly, and visually unworthy of a good job.

The desired effect is always A, but unfortunately the result far more often than not is B.

Why? Because everyone forgets that both of these girls are already pretty, and that gives them leeway to do things off the beaten path. You can "ugly them up," if you will, and it comes off edgy. With Rihanna, it's all because she's hot. Nicki has the personality to back it up, but is also hot. Both have professional stylists and consultants who carefully craft the look.

You on the other hand have your homegirls and y'alls hairdresser of questionable repute, and often do not have the personality / swagger to carry such a bold fashion statement.

Celebrity or local chickenhead? You decide.

Result of that? You look like a Philadelphia hoodrat. For you see Nappy Fam these looks are nothing new to the Bros, who all met in the city of Brotherly Love and Sisterly FUG! Philly girls (colloquially known as jawns) I'm convinced are the ugliest on the east coast, not just from a lack of cuteness, but mostly from a complete lack of style. Pink and black weaves, green or blue hair, body suits, neck tats and flight jackets. Sound familiar? Exactly. Now because of these two bitches the whole country thinks it's cool. America, please wake up. Black women may never recover from this. Maybe soon a famous chick will have dreads.

Tako: Yeah and maybe Show stops fantasizing about trannies and midgets.

Show: Fuck you

Or maybe the jawns will take over forever....

C4 2 Ya Door


Rock said...


I like Philly Girls minus the next tats. They are a little loud though.

I must admit, when they were rocking cleats as regular shoes...that was a bit over the top.

I also think Nikki Minaj looks dumb and Rihana looks like My Little Pony with Trisomy 21 aka Down syndrome....guess she's a "down" ass chick.

mandy ;) said...

SMH...the problem is these women are famous they have to have some sort of stage presence, a stage persona, basically them bitches are on stage, the world is not your stage bitches...and though im the type of chick to smather some red lipstick on and put some heels on i draw the line at fire engine red hair and neon green eye shadow...if you are not in the entertainment business(this does not include stripers we understand the claws for nails and ridicoulus wigs as you cant look at your normal self in the mirror anymore) STOP IT!!!

Sha Boogie said...

LOL!! Love it! And -- you ain't neva lied. Especially about Nikki and Rhi Rhi making this basic chicks think they can pull it off..

NC17 said...

the good old Red hair Charlie Bmore looking philly hoes. Yeah Nicki's wigs have these girls thinking they can emulate. Look in the mirror at yourself-- now look at her music video-- not the same thing. Walk through any hood mall in America and you'll see Ultra Ratchet, the baddest girl in her mind, and proof that some girls don't believe in being "too darkskin for that hair color".

The Notorious ZAG said...

Coincidentally I was expressing my disdain about this to my husband a few nights ago. As you said, these women have professional stylists on board who are paid to give these pretty women looks that they can pull off. Now, while I don't know much about Philly women (the few I know are natural, pretty and talented) but I know that some of these Baltimore chicks are trying my patience. Bad enough they've been walking around with these pants under their bellies and tight shirts exposing their bellyflaps, now I have to deal with this dumb hair thing, which as you said, has been done OVER 10 YEARS AGO. I went through looking at these stupid colored wigs in high school. Why do I have to endure this again??!? O_o