Friday, October 1, 2010

Oh the Places I've peed (Pt. 2.)

It's a Friday night in Pennsylvania and there's nothing to do....

Strip Club Time.

Yep. That's pretty much how it goes...all the time.

That's the reason why I have a few handfulls of phone numbers in my cell phone from strippers I havent slept with...well, except that whole almost threesome with Lexi thing, but that's a whole different story for another blog.

Anyways, this is the menality. When in doubt, go to the strip club....

So, when after 2 days of vacation we discovered that the island of Saint Marteen was boring....we found the strip clubs, whore houses and seedy underworld legalized by the awesome Dutch settlers.

Yes my friends this story starts in a strip club and ends with pee.

Bartender: I've never seen anyone drink like you guys!!!

Caveman: I'll have 2 more Mountain Dew Amp & Vodka's (the island's Redbull-Vodka Equivalent).

Show: Ill have 4!

M-Casa: You guys are ridiculous. You're gonna regret this.

Meanwhile, Caveman and I are dancing around the club while strippers, bored with the influx of old white "johns" seem intrigued by the crazy Frat boys from the States. Caveman and I begin pop-locking and pasing an imaginary energy ball around the club while dancing. Yes, it looked as ridiculous as it sounds.

Sidenote: We apparently built up quite the reputation around the Small Island / country as by day four we were entering strip clubs we'd never been to only to hear the owners say "Oh, we've heard about you guys. You must be the gentleman from philly. WTF!


About 3 hours and 14 Amp & Vodkas each later, Caveman, Casa, Freddy the Creep and I stumble back to our timeshare at about 4 am. Dr-unnnnnnnk!!!!

Since we had 2 beds and Me and Caveman are Bff-NH's, we shared a queensized spread. Pause.

I don't know if I had a dream about peeing in the ocean or whatever, but I woke up as i started peeing in my boxers. Fu*k!!!! I hopped up out the beeeeed (Solja Boy Voice)...

then I took off the mildly pissy boxers, took a shower...soaked in the hot tub with a brew for a bit, then went back to one was the wiser.

2 hours later everyone wakes up an Caveman was lying in a puddle of Pee.

This muther-flocka peed the bed too!!!!! Oh, this is too much.

I laughed my ass off before finally admiting that I had also peed the bed a few hours earlier. Next, Casa and Freddy the creep explain to us the inherant gay irony of the situation.

Blame it on the A-a-a-a-a-alcohol. Damn.

-Flocka! I mean, Rocka!


Alovelydai said...

That's just wrong!! So so very wrong!

mandy ;) said...

im starting to see a pattern