Friday, October 22, 2010

Bromance...revisited. The Rules.

The Oxford Dictionary of English, not to be confused with the Bourgeoisie and Rigid "Oxford English Dictionary", although written by the same people, has officially gone and did it...

This committee of scholars have gone and included the word bromance in the latest version of their dictionary which is "based on how language is used in everyday life."


For those of you not in "the know," Ima let oxford break it down...


Bromance

Pronunciation:/brə(ʊ)ˈmans/noun



Informal


A close but non-sexual relationship between two men









The fact that this word has made it into the dictionary can mean one of two things. Either A.) Showrocka is truly ahead of his time, as I've described this phenomenon almost a year ago and stressed its importance, or B.) The entire world is slowly turning gay.


Either situation, in my eyes, is a win-win. Either I get to re-validate my own self worth and praise my ingenuity in crafting the rules of bromace before it was trendy, or I get to watch posers use bromance as a cover for male on male penis grinding, thereby leaving more women for the rest of us straights. Eh, I'm indifferent. Guess that means I'm Vain huh? Valuing self praise as much as vaginal intercourse? Yep. Sounds about right.




Tako: Spoken from Mr. Humility Breeds Success himself.....

Wja3: Who also talks in third person.

C4: Who also has a boogie in that pic.

Show: Dicks.

Anyways....I have posted, as an addendum, a few new rules of bromance gained by my experience now living with a dude. Roomate. PAUSE, PAUSE, PAUSE.



1. It is OK, when cooking dinner for yourself, to make a plate for your bromance. It's the courteous thing to do. You shall, however, say "I've saved you some leftovers," or "There's food in the kitchen" NOT "Dinner's ready." Breakfast shall not, I repeat, SHALL NOT be served in bed. No drinking wine with dinner.


2. It is OK to share chore responsibilities (I.e. Dishes). It is not OK to bitch about feeling under appreciated should you end up doing more than your fair share of chores. It just sounds wild homo. You are better off just leaving things dirty, then complaining to your bromance about him needing to clean them up.



3. Under no circumstance is it OK to do each other's ironing or Laundry. I dont care if that ni**a has a life or death job interview and had both his hands chopped off in a wood chopping competition. He better bring that sh*t to the Asian ladies at the cleaners. #Imjustsayinnnnn.



4. You will undoubtedly see each other shirtless. Make sure that you always have pants or shorts on. Also, no walking around in towels.


5. It is OK to watch TV or movies together...it's kinda suspect, but still OK. MAKE SURE, however, that you aren't sleepy or that you are on different couches. The thought of sitting on a bed watching TV together shouldn't have even crossed your heterosexual mind. No one wants to end up asleep on a couch with another dude. Ugggghk. once again, Im just sayin.



Navigate this sea of do's and don'ts, and you and your bromance won't have to get a dudevorce.


Have a good weekend Bros and hoes.


-Show-Sho no homo.

1 comment:

mandy ;) said...

that cracked me up i got to come up with some rules for homances lmfao...