Friday, October 15, 2010

All the single ladies PT. 2: A Baby Don't make you "Grown"

Tupac Shakur: "I hear Brenda's got a baby, but Brenda's barely got a brain/ a damn shame, the girl can hardly spell her name...

Let's face it, everyone and their mother has kids. No pun intended.

With teenage pregnancy at an all time high within minority populations (black & rican, not the non minority minorities like Asians),its obvious that our children are forcing themselves to grow up faster than children of other races. This is not a good thing.

Funny thing about it, however, is that simply because they're missing out on their childhood as a result of coital indigressions, they actually believe that they are now legitimately grown!

Living on your own without state assistance makes you grown!!! (says the product of New Haven's Section 8 housing.)

Paying your own bills ( real bills, not cricket, pocket wireless or T-mobile) makes u grown!!

But a baby? A baby motherfu*ka? Anyone over 12 with titties can have a baby!! Bitch a baby don't make you grown... Not even by Chickenhead standards. Read and learn.

I don't care how mature you are or claim to be, unless you are filthy rich, having a baby while under the age of 18 is either a.) a consciously immature decision at worst or b.) a byproduct of recklessly immiture behavior at best.

Sure all your friends have babies and you now have a common ground for conversations about ain't shit baby daddies and buying cute little baby jordans, but come on.... It's really as smart as starting to smoke just to be able to converse with the workers during cigarette breaks. That, however, is a different story for a different day. This is bout bein grown...

Whether you believe it or not, girls of the chickenheads faith do have certain standards to uphold including the following:

1. buying overly expensive brand name baby clothes
2. buying gas to take those long rides for jail visits
3. buying airline tickets to Daytona beach Black Bike week
4. Buying multi colored silky weaves
5. Getting acrylic mani-peds from the Asians
6. Buying low priced tattoos at tattoo parties

7. Buying Pinnacle Vodka, Paul Masson, E & J or weed...

And the list goes on....

The point of the matter is, these things aren't cheap! Living at home, baby or not, will not afford you the opportunity to live this "Chickstravagent" lifestyle. Your mama, even if she is a bird too, will not be financing your "club nights," "weaves" or "Acrylics."

Remember bitch, you're supposed to be grown!! Sheiiiiit. She may even charge yo ass for her babysitting services. Lol. Just to ummmm, teach you responsibility.

Once you are in fact grown, aka have recieved your own CNA or nurses aid certification, you will realize the error of your ways.

Truly mature chickenheads know it's a way of life complete with not only having little chickenheadlets, but also passing on knowledge including but not limited to the following:

1. How to get money claiming other peoples kids on income tax

2. How to get paid by taking in foster kids

3. How to do hair on the side

4. How to have section 8 housing pay for your rent while secretly moving in your current boyfriend.

5. How and where to stash contraband (be it on or your person or in the apartment walls)

6. How to get free turkeys from good drives on Thanksgiving

And the list goes on....

While I'm sure u were all thoroughly entertained at others expense (as of course, no one thinks this pertains to them,) I hope you all get the underlying point.

Life is all about making decisions and having experiences which help you mature into an adult. Having a baby is just ONE of many experiences which once all combined will make you a full fledged grown-up.

It is not the end all-be all.

Lol. Silly rabbit, babies are for kids.



Epitome said...

I LOL'd like a mug (throwbacking on yall) at this entire post simply because I have a friend whom I affectionately call my hoodrat friend who says she's grown all the time and yet she has a cricket'esque cell phone bill that is cut off ever so often, she buys over priced name brand clothing for her and her child, has *counts in head* 14 tattoos (one of which is paw prints up her thigh...for shame), is a forgive me she just became a LPN, has an affinity for Pinnicle (or however you spell it) the list goes on, guess she thinks she's grown because she only has one kid *shrug*

khaki la'docker said...

i just cant go there with you this morning!

Co-signing this post :)