Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Ts Presents: Disabled man teaches you to Dougie.

New Haven, Yale-Harvard Game...November, 2006.


Show & 3 Random white girls: Solja boy up in this ho, what me crank it watch me roll....

Police: Hey you!!! I dont know how you got on top of that RV, but Get Down!!! Now!!!! And dont hurt yourselves.



Now I know you all are thinking, what would possess someone to do the Solja Boy dance on top of an RV at a football game, but let me remind you...it was 2006 and the Solja boy was that dope. A universally acceptable dance that white people liked and could mimic. Success!!!

After my Cousin Chain and Slim jones helped the white girls get down, and my drunk as almost broke my neck trying to do a jackie chan hop onto the spare tire cover and ninja roll on the ground, I began to contemplate....

Will there ever be another dance so simplistically awesome and infectious that all walks of life would partake and enjoy it???


Fast Forward to July 2010 and you have your answer....


Black people have their electric slide, Booty call and Cha-Cha Slide (Ugggghkkkk)....White people have their country line dancing and love instructional dances they can catch on to.

Enter the year of the "Dougie."






A down south dance, spawned from a song called "my Dougie" of which Solja Boy was actually in. Unfortunately, the song wasnt that good and never really took off until some young foolish dudes from cali called the California Swag District did their take on it and called it "Teach me how to Dougie." Now its a phenomenon. BTW "Dougie" refers to 1980's rapper / Pioneer "Dougie Fresh" who used to do a little dance rubbing his head (PAUSE!!!)





Here's a video from you tube with some disabled dude doing it. The comments to follow are hilarious (in a , "If you laugh you know you're going to hell sort of way.")

Just remember, it's so easy even a caveman can do it (you'll get the reference in a minute.)









Show: Start with a normal two step (left-right, left right...on a 1-2 count).

Then look left, slightly turn your left hip that way while acting like you are swimming with your right hand (breast stroke....moving your arm from inside to outside...kinda like your clearing the table after a dinnerparty.)

Make sure you are doing this on the same beat (at the same pace) that your feet are moving. Alternate arms and hips. Rub your head every few moves and you are officially dougie-ing. :)


And now the horrible comments these fuckers on youtube posted. I only copied the funnier ones as I too am an asshole who appreciates morbid and inappropriate humor. Enjoy.

Reaper757 :DUDE! Whats on your face!?

Reaper757: Oh wait...That is your face!

ColiseumGaming: Hes got Watermelonitis. Its a horrible disease you get from eating to much watermelon.

ofir55510 :I hope the lips are fake.

JVIICRO: I didn't know star trek had a new character they were adding.

CroRuption: yall fucking dumb for making fun of him, he looks like he got burnt. (with fire).

Really? Burnt (With Fire)? Nah son, we thought you meant burnt with Clymidia. Thank you captain obvious.

SKBaneTek: You dance like a dude on fire!!!

Tako wanted to say something but I wouldn't let him. We have to put up at least a thin veil of compassion. I can say that I dont wanna see no "awwwwww, I feel bad for him" comments cause this nigga put himself on the internet. Like a fat girl in a thong bikini in a strip club, you brought this upon yourself chief!!!

Dead.

--TS

2 comments:

khaki la'docker said...

all im going to say is that you were right... tis is all.

UglyCleanBroke87 said...

Oh. My.

I felt like I was watching an audition for the 2010 version of "Thriller."

*Logs off computer and says a prayer before going to bed*