Friday, August 6, 2010

R-Kelly Songs that fucked it up for dudes

It's your boy Show here to go bananas like a black man in a watermellon drought. Lol.

Yes I know I'm dead wrong for dissin R Kelly, but whatever. I've got that Omarion icebox demeanor and am cold as ice. Sorry R-Sleasy.

R-Kelly Songs that fucked it up for dudes

3. Down Low / Trapped in the Closet:

Not only did you bring to the attention of rich and busy people all across the world the fact that their significant others are off fucking more attractive poor people, you've also exposed our last resort hiding place. Dry snitching at it's best Kells.

I'm sure all the Mr. Biggs in the world appreciated this song... Or maybe they didn't, since ignorance is bliss. Either way, I believe that this song which came out in 1995 initiated the era of "crazy niggas checkin their girls cell phones."

ladies, u have Kells to blame for your insecure jealous man's tendencies.

God, who is obviously a man, didn't appreciate that shit either...because now you have otherwise moral and Christian human beings whipping their girls asses.

The punishment? God transformed Kelly's Downlow into a term used exclusively for gay black men with wives who still fuck their homies. Guess he took the term "Homie Lover Friend" too far. Smh.

2. Age ain't nothin but a number:

Yea I know this was Aliyah's song, but it was about R Kelly, who married her 14 year old ass, and who was salivating in the video.

How did this song fuck up the game, might you ask??? It created an entire generation of soulful, crooning statuatory rapists. Smh.

Age ain't nothin but a number... But it's an important one. Lol. Remember fellas, and female teachers in need of 15 year old super sperm (pause). 15 will get you 20. Lol.

1. Hair braider:

Yep. Now we love R-Kelly and all (pause) but let's be honest. He fucked up the game with this one. With lines like "shawty said the style that I want is gonna take her like all night....", this nigga gave us long hair don't care niggas a perfect alibi. Sorry I'm home so late, but it took her forever to rock this style. Thumbs up , wink wink...
Because who can deny a dude with fresh braids... No homo.

But wait.... Leave it up to Kells to fuck it up by making the song's next line, "that's ok, cause when she's through I'm gonna hit it like all night!!!"

Come on son!!! (Ed Lover Voice!!)

Now all our baby boo's know that the distinct post hair braid smell is not a new form of "cheap grease" but rather the smell of vickys secret perfume, peperican punani and coitis. Not that they shouldn't have known ricans don't braid hair anyway. Thanks Kells... You dick.

- iPhone Rocka

Location:Derby Ave,West Haven,United States


Alovelydai said...

You remind me of my jeep??? How did this miss the list? Dudes just said fuck remind me of my Madden game me waiting in line at midnight for that ish...ok...terrible metaphor but u get my point!

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