Tuesday, August 10, 2010

The President needs to get a Divorce

Excuse me Beautiful black queen, mother of the earth from which all things natural have sprung...chocolate fountain of melanin infused lifeblood from which civilizations were born and entire nations cultivated....Can you tap that white girl with the fat ass on the shoulder and tell her to holla at me.

Now I'm sure many of you remember a similar line to that from the movie "Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinkin Your Juice in the Hood", and I'm sure a lot more of you think that I just don't like black girls and want an excuse to praise white women for an entire post. Sorry to disappoint you hatin ass hoes, but this is no such post. This is me keeping it 100 about michelle Obama.

Oh you mad Barak? Well fu*k you too. Funny named muthafu*ka. Jk.

Now I'm sure michelle Obama has a striking personality and is probably as intelligent as they come. That's great...I mean truly, that is a great thing...if you care about those sorts of things. This however, does not make her pretty, cute, stunning, striking, moderately attractive, gorgeous, beautiful or even permissible by any stretch of the imagination. I mean damn barak, i applaud you for not going full out white girl like OJ but I mean, son....you couldn't get a spanish girl with a fat ass, better yet a famous one? JFK did it. You don't have to lower your standards because your black are are worried how the media might perceive you. Smh. Man the fuck up and divorce her ass.

Bet you thought this post was gonna have to deal with politics...actually, yall know me...I'm sure you didnt think that at all.

C4: Ok Show, we get it. You like Spanish broads. Why all the salt being thrown at michelle though? There are plenty of black women to hate on.

Show: It's not because shes black, its because everybody is lying to themselves saying shes so effing beautiful...and by everybody I mean women. Sure I've heard dudes say they'd hit it, but I've never heard them say "oh shes hot."

In actuality, the only reasons girls say she is so pretty is because she is not as pretty as them and looks plain. Exotic girls scare women as they are the type their man will lust after. Any girl genuinely classified as sexy would fall into the same category. Just think, how many times have you heard your girl say a pretty girl is pretty? Probably a few. A drop dead gorgeous girl, or a certified sex pot? The most you will hear is "Why's she wearing so much make-up", "her dress is so short , it looks slutty" or the worst haterism of all "how can guys even like that, her butt is too big."

Ladies Stop lying to yourselves and us.

Girl: Michelle Obama has such nice hair.

Bitch looks bald to me.

Girl: She dresses so nice.

Did Miley Cyrus design that outfit? Way to ghetto-fy the whitehouse. SMH.

Girl: They make such a cute couple.

A Poor man's regina king at best...no, Regina king's old ass aunt. LOL.

People said yesterday's post was too short or that I P'jacked (Pre-ejaculated) in the words of c4, pause, so today I went in...

We've broken glass ceilings and shunned the cloak of institutional racism temporarily in order to induct an African American man as leader of the greatest nation of the world...now lets just get a bad puertorican chick as first lady...

Then, and truly then will you hear a nigga like me say "God Bless America."

--Showrocka Cyrus.


Piph said...

they did too much photoshop on her on that cover. she looks dumb, if i must say...

Rock said...

Its cause the Original cover had a sexy white woman. Not that the sexy and white infers a direct correlation. LOL.

The Imperial WJA3 said...

Ummmm, yeah. You're totally overlooking the fact that the 1st Lady has a phat ass.

Exhibit A


Exhibit B


That's a first lady I can get behind.

C4 said...

LMAO @ WJA3's Eddie House move (coming off the bench and draining the 3)

I also understand where you coming from, Rock, in that I don't think Michelle is cute. However I support her because of her plainness. First lady can't be too hot, bad for business. Plus she's kinda dark, and that's the only reason Barack got elected. Without a clearly black wife, free of similarities to a Latina or white woman, his black-cred wouldve been too suspect for our people to unite behind the 44th Prez. And she got a phat ass and who doesn't love that?

Alovelydai said...

Damn I keep having this same debate with Dudes..ok so she's not drop dead beautiful but she's far from ugly. Leave my FLOTUS alone!

Rock said...

Female commentors, what would be your thoughts on Obama marrying say....Vivca Fox...Lauren London?

Cie said...

@ Rock..

If he married Vivica.. i would not approve.. something is wrong with her face now. NO ME GUSTA!

Lauren... I could get behind that. Weezy's seed and all.