Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Nig*as Aint Sh*t. Period.

I opted for this pic instead of a pile of dog shit cause I thought it was more classy. Plus women always say men are dogs. On with the post!

Description: Single, attractive Male. (I'm obviously not talking about myself because I didn't say super-attractive, or humble.)

Objective: Have protected sex and secure blowjobs from every woman you can, all the while maintaining a hierarchy where the less attractive get bumped by the more attractive 10 times out of 10. Stop calling after said smashing occurs.

Rationale: Men are dogs and nig*as aint sh*t.

Bet you ladies don't like that huh? I've confirmed your inner most fears about the "new guy" you're talking to. The guy you dated for 4 years? The guy you were engaged to? Your baby's dad? None of them are worth a shit either and there's a 75% chance he's fooled around with one of your friends.

So now what?

Here's the part where I tell you everything I just said is a crock of shit. Unfortunately, its a crock of shit and self pity that women have concocted and let their estrogen, uterus twat juices convince them to believe. 9 out of 10 times if something in a relationship goes awry directly after sex, people will say "he only wanted to hit it."

Seems logical right? "He got what he wanted," "He played her", etc.

How about "She got clingy", "She started questioning his behavior with women in a way she didnt do before" or better yet, how about "She doesn't know how to cope with the side effects of good di*k"?
Why do you think so many windows are smashed, cars keyed and clothes are burned on front lawns?

Its because no matter what a woman says about it being "just sex", the moment you have sex, feelings get involved. I don't care who you are. Women get their feelings hurt easy, men get their pride hurt easy...this explains why when women get mad at "sex gone wrong" they say things like "The sex was whack" and why men say things like "I never liked you, I just wanted to smash."

Fact of the matter is, none of these things are true in most cases, but one thing is.

Girls who have sex with guys for the wrong reasons, make things really awkward.

My mom always taught me never to sleep with a woman you don't think is good enough to talk to the next day...I internalized that, taking note of the fact that she DID NOT say "talk to in public the next day." LOL.

That being said, the "hit it and quit it" motto most women believe that men follow does not exist. Why would we want to have sex once and move on rather than continually have sex with you in a no strings attached manner? Even terribly bad sex is better than no sex. I mean come on? "Hit and quit" makes no sense at all. "Hit it and not take you out to dinners and movies" makes sense. Chances are, if a guy sleeps with you once and only once it's because you started acting crazy, or became too attached and scared him away.

In essence, it's your fault!!!

Here's the kicker though.
I'm not going to lie. Every man who is not a virgin knows that women cannot truly separate sex from emotional attachment and we keep having sex with them on the premise that "I told her no strings attached and she was cool with it." We know what we're getting into and know that we look like assholes when you girls start acting like them and we leave. Therefore, you are right....we know how this story ends every time, yet we still dib and dabble in your emotionally charged punani pudding.

And that, my female friends, is why nig*as aint sh*t.
-The Talented Mr. Rocka


Alovelydai said...

Lovely summation. The inverse of this?? Putting y'all shitty ninjas in the "friend box". We know y'all want some but we prefer to keep you around to maintain our cars, take out our trash & carry heavy shyt under the guise that you may just hit it one day! Nice post!

LucyJuicy said...

If more females where less linearly minded this wouldnt happen so often. Like I explained to you, its mostly biological. If women were to wait 72 hours after said smashing to communicate with a guy, chances are she would be thinking much more rationally and most likely be less clingy. My advice to women: wait a while, make sure the time is right, and dont blow up his phone afterwards!!! LOL

Rock said...

@ Goosey

That is the female equivalent of a guy beating off before a date so as to think clearly and rationaly. Kudos on that one.

khaki la'docker said...

Ha! RIGHT ON DAI!!! Ole aint shit negros go straight to the bucket and only get called on when i want to see "boy" movies.

mandy ;) said...

sex is anything but casual i mean its possible to be totally sexually attracted to a guy (for me) and then just want to press an imaginary mute button once they open their mouth lol some are nice to look at but you dred them wanting to spend the night....it gets complicated i think when they are sexy and smart and everything a girl wants thats when casual goes out the window....because you dred being the person they want to press the mute button on....its tricky nd when a man senses a woman is too casual they sort of panic to not all but some they secretly wonder why she isnt trying to "bust the windows out your car" lol its ture.....

NC17 said...

@LucyJuicy The time is never right, 8 hours or 72 hours, if a guy's a stalker or an asshole it doesn't matter how long you wait. I always stick to the model of calling the next day only if you like them, the next week only if you can't find anyone else to sleep with.

LucyJuicy said...

@NC17- What I mean is that if you sleep with a man who you actually like, and who (up until that moment) there were no problems with, you should give them some space after the first hook up. I have had to learn that the hard way.. Obviously if a man is jerk you shouldnt be fucking him, you should be taking the time to get to know him and see if he snaps out of jerk-ness. If not, dont think anything is gonna change just cuz you gave him the punani! lol

LucyJuicy said...

@ Showrock: Best post ever! lol
But of course this all boils down to: doing it for the right reasons!!! Not because you think you have competition or cuz you wanna prove a point.. Some girls dont realize men see right thru that shit!!
I have to give props to AP for putting this out there, obviously its generated a lot of chatter :)