Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Man Beats up Quadruple Amputee Girlfriend in Self Defense!!!

From the lack of Coontastic Ratings we're gonna assume most of you did not watch the Short Bus Shawty Video.

Its absolutely hilarious and is gonna end up starting my Rap beef with Waka Flocka. Watch it!!!! It's in Yesterdays post. BTW, I'm saving "The Pause Chronicles" for later this week.

C4: Still goin hard at Flocka? (Pause). Pickin on the retarded kids. Have you no shame?

Show: Whatever...(Stacy Dash in Clueless voice....while salivating.)

Taka & Rocka: And more Nappyheaded News!!!

Wja3: Oh Lord.

Monday, April 12th:
(Don't Judge us, we know the news is outdated, but its funny still)

Man Beats up Quadruple Amputee Girlfriend in Self Defense!!!

Jacoby Laquan Smith says he will turn himself in to St. Paul police this week for what must be the most unmanly crime on record: domestically abusing his armless, legless girlfriend.

Tako: I bet shes a freak. I also bet she hates the Lloyd Banks song "Hands up" or the Xsacape song "Just kick it."

Show: Oh emmmm Geeee. Yall thought I was bad.

Smith allegedly punched Tiesha Bell in the face 10 times during the March 22 incident and faces a misdemeanor fifth degree assault charge and a gross misdemeanor for interfering with a 911 call.

Bell was in no position to defend herself, being that both hands and both legs were amputated due to a childhood illness. But Smith says don't let that fool you--Bell is like a handless, legless Ultimate Fighter.

"She'll swing, push me down and choke me with her nubs," Smith told the Pioneer Press.

Smith said that prior to the domestic dispute, Bell was cheating on him.

That's right, Smith was being cuckolded by a quadruple amputee. That can't be good for the self-esteem.

Tako: Yo, that's fucked up. You got an armless, legless broad cheating on you!!!! Nah, scratch that. Who is this other dude stealing somebody's amputee...that's just rude.

WJA3: How you gonna be an amputee and a ho? I'm just saying.

Show: I bet they dont show her picture cause shes sexy as hell. Like that Midget Eva Mendez.

C4: Uhggghhkkk. (Clipse Voice).

He turned on the TV and Bell got mad, he says. She punched him in the groin with her deadly nub and then proceeded to dowse him in urine from a bed pan.

Show: Lmao at "Deadly nub." This editor was having waaaaaay too much fun writing this.

Yes, after being cuckolded by the quadruple amputee, she gave him a golden shower.

So you see, your honor, Smith punched the quadruple amputee in self-defense. He rests his case.

(By the way, Bell still plans to marry him. "We both need anger management," she said.)

-The Bros.

You can tell Show or Tako didn't write this solo cause there are no meat hopping shoutouts to blog wifey, pepperican girls or bashing of women with babies. LOL.

1 comment:

khaki la'docker said...

This has my mind racing... Im questioning why he chose to be with a woman with no arms or legs. Dome game must be point because she cant fight back. Also trying to figure out how one can beat up a chick that's all head and shoulders and cry self defense???

This is foul as hell. Even more foul? When i thought of the chick, I visioned the head detective from In Living Color getting kicked in the chin by a nigga that looked like Ike Turner. Ok- going to hell now.

Pouring the boxed beer for me and my hubby in Ed Hardy glasses,

Mrs. PopRocks