Thursday, June 10, 2010

You Remind Me Of My Jeep: Bimer, Benz or Bentley Edition

The other day I'm having a conversation with the esteemed Doc Bamzy MD discussing our various plans for the future, and part of his plans were to at some point, "find an African or Brazilian wife," to which I appropriately replied, "Go Brazilian, they are the Rolls Royce of [women]." he agreed, and that led us down a dangerously fun objectifying path of associating as many ethnicities of women with models of cars.

Dr. Bamz was then like "hold up, what's the BMW of women, that's where I'm at right now?"

Slow down son you're killin' 'em.

Let's explain the first couple of assessments and move on to the rest, shall we? Mind you, I'm describing the baddest girls each culture has to offer so don't bitch about the ugly one you met. And with no further to-do...

Brazilians: The Rolls Royce

The lap of luxury, the model everyone aspires towards. A mansion on wheels to be driven in. Whether you are black, white, Asian or Alien, you find yourself a Brazilian beauty you're a happy camper. Show me a man who wouldn't hit this...

...and I'll show you a man who doesn't like girls.

Colombians: The Bentley

Those in the know will tell you about a city called Medellin, where some of the finest feminine specimen walking the planet are found. Men with money the world over rush to Colombia to bring back a bride from Medellin.

Russian Models: The Lamborghini

Flashy, extremely expensive (just ask the guys paying for their mail order hand in marriage), dangerous (ask all the Russians with AIDS), but oh so sexy.

Dominicans: The Benz

You can get the coupe, the Kompressor, or the big body S Series. They come in so many different styles: black, brown, beige, with varying textures of hair, always a big booty. One thing stays the same: it's all luxury.

Jamaicans: The Cadillac

Anyone can have enough money to drive a luxury car, but you gotta be cool to push a caddy, and these chicks are as cool as it gets. Smooth ride, precise handling, and a relaxing experience when you pull up to the bumper, baby.

Trinidadians: The BMW

Caribbean, black, Indian, Native American, it's all there. Get you a lil 3 Series, or get you a 745 an stunt hard. Either way, you can't lose.

Stay tuned for part two as the Bros go into some of the more affordable models...

Once More 2 Ya Door,

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

LMAO. Regular black girls gonna kick yo ass!