Thursday, June 17, 2010

Why do attractive black guys go for big fat white women" (Pt. 1.5)

I know my Blog and Not all Baltimore Chicks are Stupid have a lot of mutual followers, and I normally don't do this, but uhhh.............Keep the party going Bruh bruh.

Yesterday I wrote a post on my homie Khaki's blog as a retort of sorts, answering an age old question. Yes niggas and nigettes, I'm being lazy and re-posting. Actually, I'm not being lazy...the post was just so dead on, that I couldn't risk anyone missing it. See...I look out for yall. Oh, and I added Pics. :)

"Why do attractive black guys go for big fat white women?"

Lechuga empezar.

Let us begin. Wait for it......C'mon Son. You can laugh. It was funny.

Time and time again I am asked the question, "Why do attractive black guys go for big fat white women" or "busted white girls?"

My response? It's not that ALL handsome black men are all off shagging white sea-walruses, but rather that you all tend to look past those with model-hot caucasian girlfriends and call them race traitors.

Ever heard this one "Ohhhh, he look's like the type that likes white girls"?

I've never heard that said about a black guy dating Kiko the big white Orca.

Go ahead, call him a race traitor...oh you won't? That's because you're a hater and wouldnt dare hate on the Idris Elba looking dude with the white dimepiece hotter than you. You'd get embarassed. Congratulations, you know your role, but still have enough "strong black woman" in you to hate on the low hanging fruit. Get em'!!!!

Now that that's been said, the truth is this: A lot of well to do black men are dating alabaster slam pigs. In my personal opinion this could be for 1 of 3 reasons.

1.) Low Hanging fruit Syndrome: it takes less work to woo a girl who is not used to getting wooed.

2.) Hook a brotha up syndrome: If you notice, a lot of these fine brothas (no homo) who can be found with the female version of the stay puff marshmello man are really just deadbeats. Some are broke ass deadbeat dads, some are lazy jobless fucks, and some are just using her "I'm so fat I get social Security Disability at age 25" money to finance their own drug trade.

Bet you never seen a fine black Doctor or lawyer with a melanin deficient chubby chunker...Unless she was a doctor. Who am I kidding. There are not fat chick Doctors.

(Even these guys have the "nigga please, I aint datin no fat white heiffer" face on.)

3.) Love.... I almost wanted to replace this one with "maybe he used to be a fat white girl syndrome" but I'll be nice.

Other theories include "she gives good dome because it reminds her of twinkies, creamsicles and other food",

"she knows how to cook syndrome",

and the tried and true "F**king with Puertorican girls has altered my ability to distinguish between thick and Fat syndrome."

Careful fellas, your Captain Ishmael asses may be one slippery slope away from sleeping with Moby-Twat.

Ladies, if he's so fine, stop chasing Jay Z lookin dudes with money.

Let the real dudes know, before its too late.


khaki la'docker said...

still funny regardless of what site its posted on. LMAO

Tako said...

I'ma start Calling Khaki and Rockybaby "Surf and Turf" the way they be Meat hopping and fish hopping each other.


MW said...

Yes! A thousand (island dressing) times yes!

I see some pretty decent/average black man with their so-called "slam pigs" (I love the term) all over this city. Sometimes they even bring their mulatto piglets along with them for the ride, and keep them pacified with bags of Frito-Lay snacks, thereby producing more swine for the slam breeding stock.

Is it possible that at least in Philly's case, since blacks are indeed the majority, white women have... minority appeal?

No matter the reason, it's usually sad to see otherwise-eligible black whalewatchers keelhauling their pasty, slovenely shamus in public.

C4 said...

Hit the fat white nail on the head with this one.

The A2K-10 Virus said...

Super Mario Bros- King F.U.P.A's Labian Theory

In my 5'7 former volleyball playing, future Doctor of Pharmacy, non-cookin ass Vanilla Wafer,

Rich Chocolate Ovaltine
(formerly known as The A2K-10 Virus)

khaki la'docker said...

Tako: so taking flame out of my name wont make me less gay???

Rock: nope, but you get an A for effort!

:HUGS: its all love Tako... but you better stop picking on me before i get gangster on you!

Miss Snarky Pants said...

This was hilarious LOL...I cracked up at every bit of this post.

Anonymous said...

who is that spainish thick girl she is sexy?

Argentineyan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Argentineyan said...

Where did you find that Puerto Rican?

Anonymous said...

Yeah who Is the Spanish chick standing next to that chair wit the Phatty?

wastenot said...

High-larious!!! (coming from a wide loaded white grrrl. Melatonin deficient! lol...)

Tauni said...

LOVE LOVE LOVE that blog... NOW I feel better about myself and feel confident ONE hot black man may one day STAY with me... You didn't touch on why they use slim well built fairly good looking white girls... But hey... At least it is because they are Losers and Broke @ss ____s who don't think they deserve me... Truly, those type don't... But I still want me a fine black brotha with his shyt together to call me wifey... (Prays to God)

Unknown said...

Pure ignorance and gonna talk about kids just ignorant just stupid everyone is pretty in their own way beauty is just skin deep it's what's on the inside that matters