Thursday, June 3, 2010

People like me Cause I'm Lightskinned-ed: The Drake Effect

What a week. Show-Sho's Back, C4 went in, Tako's on Deck and WJA3 has returned!!!!

Let's get it (Jeezy voice)....

So as some of you may know, Drake's album "Thank Me Later" leaked yesterday.

Despite my usual clean living, his album fell off a truck and somehow landed on my hard drive. The short and sweet WJA3 review of the album, it's good... but Wu-Tang is for the Children! Seriously though, nothing is really surprising about the album.

Drake is an above average rapper, but a below-average singer who can make catchy songs. However, because Drake is light-skinned, this album will be hailed as the greatest album of the year and an all time classic. This brings me to my topic of the day:

Top 5 Entertainers who are loved purely because they are light-skinned. (I used the paper bag test to judge whether or not each candidate were indeed light-skinned).

5) Young Berg

One hit wonder, whose one hit was annoying in the first place. Sexy Lady is one of those songs that chased me away from listening to the radio on the regular. Despite having only one hit, he is still a regular topic on the rap blogs, usually about him saying something ignorant or getting his chain snatched. Why do people even still care? I'm convinced it's because he's light skinned.

4) Ronnie DeVoe (Far left)

This guy was easily the least talented member of New Edition and Michael Bivins was the better rapper of BBD. So why did they keep him in the group? Cuz they knew they needed to keep a light skinned dude in the group to appease the hoes.

3) Boris Kodjoe

Error Message: Due to the No-homo factor of a google image search under this name, no pic has been provided.

I'm pausing myself just for saying this un-talented clown's name. Females love this "actor", but I bet none of them can name his best "acting performance." Let's run down filmography found on Wikipedia:

* Chosen Ones (1999-2006)
* Soul Food TV series (2002)
* Brown Sugar (2002)
* Second Time Around TV series (2004)
* Doing Hard Time (2004)
* The Gospel (2005)
* America's Next Top Model, Cycle 4 (2005)
* Madea's Family Reunion (2006)
* All About Us (2007)
* Starship Troopers 3: Marauder (2008)
* Surrogates (2009)
* Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010)
* Undercovers(2010)

You should probably look into a new line of work if your most entertaining movie is Starship Troopers 3 (which admittedly was a lot better than Starship Troopers 2).

2) Shemar Moore

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I honestly don't really know the difference between Boris Kodjoe & Shemar Moore. His filmography from Wikiepedia includes:

1997 Hav Plenty
1998 Mama Flora's Family
1998 Butter
1998 Splackavellie
2000 Box Marley
2000 How to Marry A Billionaire: A Christmas Tale
2001 The Brothers
2002 - 2003 Birds of Prey
2003 Chasing Alice
2004 Motives
2004 Scott Turow's Reversible Errors
2004 The Seat Filler
2004 Greener
2005 Diary of a Mad Black Woman
2005 - Now Criminal Minds
2007 Motives 2: Retribution

Notice that both of their most successful movies are Tyler Perry movies. However, Shemar Moore has a regular acting job on tv unlike Boris.

1) Daddy Mack of Kriss Kross

How this clown got equal billing to Mack Daddy, who still gets kudos for the immortal line "You can get the finger....the middle." (It was a big deal for a kid rapper to say that in 1992.)

Show: This dude is really just a light skinned, less talented "Roger" from Sister-Sister....aka "young Marques Houston."

Totally off topic last time Mack Daddy was seen, he looked like this:

Meanwhile, the lighter chris gets the "lightskinned treatment.

Cancer survivor or not, So So Def wouldn't have let this happen to him if he was high yella! I hope he got all the groupies he could in the early 90s.

Show: They even gave this nigga "light skinned chris" a "white girl friendly" bass guitar and Neo Hat.

I was going to give Obama the #1 spot, but I'm not that gangsta, plus he's technically not an entertainer.

-WJA "Brown Skinned" 3


Akira said...

my favorite blogger has returned. Excellent post. Need you to fall back on that Boris hate though. Seriously. You guys had an entire post dedicated to following up behind another guy's semen, I think I can lust over a dude who's acting is sub-par.

Rock said...

Favorite blogger huh?

See how you do me and C4? SMH.

Nah, in all honesty the post was great. Thanks for putting the SIBE thing in perspective though....

Sobasically you are saying you would take the DD from Boris? That is the female equivalent of the SIBE.

For those of you unfamiliar with the term "DD" also known as Dirty Dickin refers to a dude going raw in one chick and, without showering , washing or giving a courtsey scrub, goes and inserts said "dirty dick" into another girls oral cavity.

Is he that fine Akira?

Cause I know some SIBE's...we know some SIBEs...

Akira said...

Will is only my favorite because his hate is unparalleled. Some people work for years to get on a WJA3-level of hate. I admire that.

You and C4 are hilarious, and I will not knock that. No one puts words and images together like you two.

Im going to ignore the rest of your comment. I've got my virginal image to maintain.

C4 said...

Would he get the blumpkin tho? Blumpkin = get head while taking a shit.


Anonymous said...

I don’t know if anyone is checking for Yung Berg anymore. I co-sign on Shemar and Boris. Those dudes can’t act for nothing.

I gotta put Juelz Santana on the list too.

Akira said...

OMG i love Juelz. LOL. ok this is now legitimate. Cause I cant even explain that. Im pretty sure he's only 12.

C4 please see virginal image comment above, thanks.

Akira said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Just as an aside, there is a "Light skined nigga threshold" in the same way there is a "Dark skinned nigga threshold.

Bitches love Morris Chesnut, but aren't that into Wesley Snipes.

Think about it....

You all are drooling over Drake and Juelz, but I dont remember anybody going crazy over know? Play's partner.

Case in point, you can be too lightskined. Just ask Delonte West..

P.S. Not only did Delonte sleep with Lebron's mom, its also been confirmed that he was running trains on her. Please don't have a nigga moment and kill this dude bron-bron.

--Tako aka Silk the Tak-er

khaki la'docker said...

ok, this has nothing to do with this post... but i had the meanest crush on little lightskin from Kriss Kross.

The A2K-10 Virus said...

Hahaha, one day after my comment about the love affair niggas have with Light-skinned-ed hoe, Alicia Keys, yall went in like this!

Not to be feelin myself, but this seems like I inspired this post?

The A2K-10 Virus


UglyCleanBroke87 said...

I definitely thought the Kriss-Kross boy was Marques Houston before I did a double take. I was confused as hell, like: "Why the fuck is Roger so pale in that pic?"