Wednesday, June 9, 2010

The business of black business.

This was gonna be a Shorty's true stories blog, but because it had a climactic anti-coon message, I decided to give it a proper name. Proper like "Michael" , not like "D' Mikel Raekwon Jenkins.

C4: You mean proper like Alexander without the maliciously misplaced "Z"?

Show: Fuck you.

Anyways, here goes... For your viewing and reading pleasure.

The Business of Black Business.

Angry black woman: You claim this is a tongue and cheek blog designed to make light of the flaws apparent in all human beings, yet u constantly belittle the black community all the while shucking and jiving like those you make fun of.

Show: Wow. Those are big words for a black person. Jk. Seriously though, they are big words for a woman.

Tako: Get Her!!!!

Show: let me stop playin. Girl. Shut your Madea, aunt yahira ( not jemimah, cause she's half Spanish) looking ass up and read. You may learn something.

You see that? This is a nigga simeoultsneously texting on a blackberry and iPhone. Hood technology at it's best.

This, my friends, is good.

Quintisential hood shit happening amongst business transactions. It makes u feel at home, while making the employee look important... Or like he's got two phones cause he's gettin rice, peas and pum pum from someone other than his rass clot wife. Eh, na fi do.

This (see above) is bad. I'm talkin like bootleg lacefront wig, Michael Jackson, Chad Dawson, Trina bad.

This chick has got her head cocked, having a cellphone convo in my ear while trying to twist my dreads. I hate to say it, but this is some BLACK shit!!!

Let's ignore the fact that I was seen at 5:15 for a 4:30 appointment.

Oh wait, here she goes at 5:17. Time to feed her screaming 2 year old. Ugggggk.

Maybe I just have no sympathy...or maybe I just think that my dreads would get done quicker if the stylist weren't texting (yes u read that right), caring for child, or stopping to order beef stew and THEN taking a break to eat it!!!

Still, however, not as bad as the 3 generations of women at the bar smoking and drinking a margarita while pushing the stroller... I ain't never lie!!!

Granma, mommy, baby (Lloyd Banks Voice).

Nevertheless, I digress...

Back to the point.

People are quick to say, "Im not fuckin with black businesses" but when It comes down to it, it's not Black Business, it's Bad business.

Black Doctors offices don't act like that...and neither do chineese restaurants in the hood,catering to mainly masses of melanin marked mammals. Lol.

People call the Chinese chinks, yell at them and curse them to holy high hell while ordering their chicken wings, French fries and blunt wraps... What do the chinamen (lol) do? Take it and smile... Then take your money and smile some more.

Good business? Yea buddy. Ever heard of the hood chineese spot gettin robbed? Didn't think so.

Why then, is it that black businesses get such a bad rep?I'll tell u why. It's because black people are associated with being lazy, and lazy businesses have the worst track record.

I define a lazy business as not having a regular m-f schedule, and opening after 9, or closing before 4.

What do we have?

Contractors (plumbers, construction)

Barbers and beauty salons (opening at 10, closed wed or mon)

Tattooists (open at 12, closed Mondays).

P.S. Nappyheaded DEZO just got the same tattoo as rihana. SMH.

Tako: Gay!!!!

Show: Dont diss my cuz. It is gay tho, but only I can diss him. Back to the blog...

This being said, most under the table contractors are white ex-cons and drug abusers....most barbers and salons owners are black, and most tattoists are white or Hispanic. Guess everybody has a little "black" in them these days. Lmao.

Im not trying to get all preechy, im just sayingggg (dream voice).

Next time, don't say "I ain't fuckin with black business" just say, "Im not fuckin with these muthafuggas", cause let's be honest..some black businesses are aiiight. We need somebody to shine our shoes right?

And the Mexicans are too busy washing cars. Haha. Kidding.

--Afrocentic Rocka

Posted from your moms hotel room


Eyes on the prize said...

Black folk have less tolerance for Black business I think. All businesses might f*ck up here or there, but the first they say is, "That's why I don't do nothing with Black people", but they don't always say the same when they go in the Spanish or Chinese spots. Like you said, just say that you don't like the biz, and don't bring race in it cuz that makes it more personal.

Elliott said...

As much as it pains me I still am I loyal patron of the small black inner city businesses. Unorthodox hour of operation, disruptive behavior on the premises, as well as un-engaging & dismissive to customers. Repeatedly it has crossed my mind that "these niggas don't deserve my money".

Black people even ruin other people's business. Hiring ghetto black employees is thee worst business ever. They have no vested interest in the company so they tend to not give a fuck about the customer or the product. Man I sound racist but dealing financially with blacks has my wallet in knots.

Other races piss me off too but if we can't talk about ourselves (especially in jest) then no one can. That said F*** those Korean's following me through every isle of the store. More importantly nice job on today's post.