Friday, May 21, 2010

NappyHeaded Vacation Tomfoolery!

NappyHeadedBros are live from Las Vegas right now, wildin out getting faded with Scoochie LaFleur who just fucked up his leg walking into a bed with no bitches in it, 1:48am PDT or 4:48 PDT.

Update: from the bedroom could be heard the sounds of Showrocka dropping a deuce in the bathroom, and I almost passed out laughing.

It was quite the adventure for C4 and LaFleur to make it from NYC to meet Showrocka out here. Where to begin? How about the airport....

While waiting to board the first plane, taking us from LaGuardia to Ft. Lauderdale, an older white dude decided to bless us with his entire catalogue of corny jokes. The highlight though he said in all sincerity. With a family of Latinos maybe ten feet away tops, he's like "What are they waiting for they're all just illegal immigrants." I put my head in my hand and tried not to laugh cuz I don't really rock with immigrant jokes, cuz back in the day those were nigger jokes, ya dig?

Next up was a ride on Spirit Airlines, which we came to realize was an experience like none other.

A hot ass first plane with old ugly flight attendants, ads for credit cards and timeshares, no leg room for short ppl, ppl bumping me all crazy since I was in an aisle sear.. There was also a man with the most spectacular look, no queer eye. He had a mustache that was like the love child of Tom Selleck's mustache and Mr. Monopoly's mustache, accompanied by a mane of hair that could only have been inspired by the '70s.

That was the JV plane though.

The next plane had two male flight attendants. One was a white guy from the Bronx (we got into a convo about how the ads in the cabin made it look like a subway) who told me I sound like I'm from Brooklyn. I didn't argue cuz he looked like the kind of guy who can get a moolie wacked like Sam Jackson in Goodfellas. The other was a Lionel Richie looking brother who had maaaaad jokes.

LaFleur was like "is this soul plane???" It was. He was making jokes about weaves, getting ur hair did satday, taking us to Little Rock, the whole plane was crackin up. "You know them fake gucci bags, water touch em the letters fall off!"

He went in! He even started making Saturday morning Kung Fu movie jokes and talking on the mic with the old mouth-making-shapes-that-don't-match-words-spoken routine. And yes Asians were on the plane. No one cared.

Not to mention the tough lesbian in front of us rocking a Colorado Rockies fitted edited so that next to the CR was stitched in white, "EAM" so the hat read CREAM. Reckless. And we ain't even GET to Vegas yet.

The guy sitting next to us apparently had a pretty dope lifestyle. Middle age white guy, bald head and goatee, kind of hard face that makes black people nervous if he encounters it in the Deep South, lives in Costa Rica and works in the southern Caribbean drilling oil. I wish I worked in a profession that allowed me to enjoy great weather all the time. Wait, I do. I just haven't moved to LA yet. Early!

Then at the end of the flight during the descent, this Lionel Richie attendant started playing the harmonica!

Going hard! At the end when he was done, he ended the song and handed the harmonica back to who? The dude with the 'stache!

Im pretty sure nothing else that's gonna happen this weekend is suitable for the Internet.

C4 2 Ya Casino!!!

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