Tuesday, May 11, 2010

I love you, but I have to quit you (pt. 6): Bi*ches with Kids.

Disclaimer: The previous system of checks and balances reminiscent of our own American Judicial system and mimicked by the NappyheadedBros staff has been suspended for the month of May. I'm aware that it's already the 10th of the month and I should've told you 10 days ago, but...today's the first day I think I need to mention it.

The bros now have a whiteboard where any Bro can reserve a date and post. No more unanimous approval necessary. One small Caveat...because of the potential for recklessness, Bros are allowed to post as Anonymous. Funny thing is, we're all wayyyyyyyyyyy to reckless to go that route.


P.s. If you haven't seen our previous "I love you but I have to quit you posts click here...or here.


Taka Flocka Flame Presents...

I love you but I have to Quit you Part 6: B*tches With Kids....

Dime piece Girl: So basically, having a good job and all, I feel proud that I've never had to ask my baby's father for child support and we're on amicable terms.

TakaFlocka: Your what-what? Baby? Baby Daddy? Check Please.

Dime piece Girl: Oh damn. You seemed like such a nice guy. I'm taking you don't want kids....

Takaflacka: No...I dont want a woman with kids. Right now, I probably want you as much as a rape victim wants to carry her AIDS infected rapist's baby. Real Talk. Waiter....make that two separate checks. I'm out.

(Drops 50 dollar bill on table and leaves girl sitting alone in utter shock.)

I know you think this is wrong (Pigs from the boost mobile commercial voice) but to each his own right? Yall wouldn't be hating if I had a thing against non-puertoricans like Show, or a thing against uneducated women like WJA3. Nevertheless, that is neither here nor there. I'm just gonna go in (pause and tell you my top 3 reasons for not caring which stretched out pu**y, stretchmarked and c-sectioned hoes I'm offending. )

Contrary to popular belief, my reasoning has nothing to do with the fact that "Girl A" may never have a baby sitter, has a vagina looser than Lisa Lefteye Lopez's pants or has a house that smells like baby piss and similac. Its bigger than that.

Reason # 3---Drama

Think about how you females hate dealing with the "other" females in our lives. Sure you may like our mothers, aunts, sisters, etc. but in the end, lets see them for what they really are...threats. Just as you are trying to make your way into your new mans home, wallet and subconscious, this harem of blood related women (or close female friends) protecting his interest and not yours are constantly putting up a Philadelphia Eagles-esque defense around their beloved quarterback, denying you access to the cock and bank account. Moral of the story, deep down you despise these hoes.

Now, for men, the reverse case scenario is twice as bad. Older brothers and Dad's are gonna be overprotective, but this problem can be solved easily. Men aren't catty like women and can be easily be won over with good Footbal convo and cold beer. If not...you're still straight as long as you can whoop her brothers ass. Babydaddy's however...are a different animal...and what they always lead to is one thing...Drama.

Not only did she (in most cases) have feelings for him, he's also already smashed!!! Like it or not ladies, fellas believe that in 90% of cases they can smash (or at least would smash) a girl that they've already done the deed with. It's just a fact of life. To make things worse, (and I know you're saying what can be worse than your girl hanging with a nigga shes boned), she has the excuse of wanting her kids to have a relationship with their dad!
Damn. You never had a relationship with your dad and know how important it is. Deny the kids this and you are not only a bad guy, but also a bad human being. The baby daddy knows this, along with exactly how to push his baby mama's buttons. He pisses her off, you gotta deal with it. Aint that a bitch. Drama.

Reason # 2---"Aint-Shit-Ness"

Now I'm not saying all girls with babies aint shit (though a lot of them are.) As a matter of fact I know I've done plenty of things (i.e. smash chicks that are 9 months pregnant by someone else and never call them again) which makes me seem like I aint shit. I can deal with that too.

What I cannot deal with, however, is ME encouraging or accidentally facilitating YOU being an "Aint shit mother." For example, I will not be the dude keeping you up all hours of the night knowing your kids have to be to school in the morning. Next thing you know they're late to Ms. Billings math class just cause she spent all night slobbing knob. Not on my watch says Ol' boy Taka Flock.

Also, If I know I'm just gonna smash you like an Apple before it becomes Mott's Applesauce, I will not allow you to come to my crib with child!!! It means you've probably done this before, and whether the statement is true or not, no 5 year old needs to know their mommy is an "Aint shit Slore-bag." If the little nigga is over 13, however, bring his ass over and I'll bust him up (pause) in Madden. Little nigga probably get more pus*y than me anyway! LMAO.

And the #1 Reason I don't fu*k with Ladies with babies-- It's a constant reminder

Yes, its a constant reminder that you're getting someone's leftovers. Yep. You wouldnt want to date us if we walked around with a used condom on all day , now would you ladies?

Like it or not, your child is a constant reminder that someone else was hitting it raw. God forbid you and I are in a committed relationship (lol) still using condoms...now I got to see this little product of someone elses skeet running around? Funk dat (Sadat Voice.)

This is the equivalent of your girl getting punched in the face by a nigga you can't stand, yet can't beat up and then having to look at her black eye everyday. It's very emasculating if I do say so myself.

Like really? I'm supposed to compromise my skeeting schedule just because you have a byproduct of reckless sex vying for your attention as well? F**k that. I'm selfish...and because of this, combined with reasons # 1 and #2 I feel like its best we go our separate ways. That's why I say, on this day, May 11th, 2010...Bitches with babies, I love you....but I have to Quit you.

Show: Dead.

C4: And now, here comes the backlash from Tak's recklessness.

Wja3: I'm leaving the room.

-It's Taka!!!!


khaki la'docker said...

Coming from a single mother- i totally respect your honesty and I appreciate reading a very blunt opinion on "bitches with kids".

Of course, i dont agree with you whole heartedly but I do understand that dating women without children is a preference much like my preference to not date robbers, drug addicts, Asians or rappers.

Points for you for creative writing and inspiring my next post.

Taka Flacka Flame said...

No Rappers? Hahahaha. I Guess Showrocka Flocka's definitely not getting any then.

For youtube reference: Showrocka, Died in your Arms.

He's a bad "Actor" too. LOL.

Akira said...

reckless tomfoolish coon-hogwash. new category. jesus christ.

khaki la'docker said...

@ taka- the fact that im negro sealed the "not getting any" deal :shrug:

Peter Parker said...

goodness gracious, you went in (no homo) like LT peeped a high school prom...

khaki la'docker said...

OMG- Please post that "get em Khack" post!!!!!

Taka, i think youre cool- youre the one that put the "flame" at the end ;)

Eyes on the prize said...

Can't wait for your post about women nnot wanting to date dudes with kids. *wink*