The straw that broke the camel's back was a tab reading:
2 coffee @ 2.75 = 5.50
2 Hennessey @ 12. = 24
Total = $29.50
What followed was a catatonic face that hid hurt, betrayal, and confusion that gave way to a cold stare saying, "I see you nigga."
But let's trace our steps to see how we got to this point shall we?
It was a pleasant lazy sunny Sunday afternoon in Brooklyn.....or so I thought. Whilst Jazzy Jen and the friendly neighborhood Blog Killah attempted to make the most of good weather before the new week, Fort Greene had other plans for us. What began as mild inconveniences like a slightly undercooked burger, a dessert spot with locked doors and a beer garden waitress who pretended not to notice us, the fourth establishment we patroned that day decided to lower the boom.
Night of the Cookers Bistro was no longer serving brunch at 4pm and that was cool with us - we were full on burgers and beer. All we wanted was some Hennessy in our coffee for a stronger kick and a slight pick-me-up. Don't front. Henney in coffee is on point and quite delicious. But that's not the point...kinda.
Let me describe to you out there in Nappy Land the scene of this restaurant. It's trendy-looking, with good-looking brown-skinned staff, shiny wood floors, gleaming silverware and the general aura of a hip buppy hang-out.
So we sit and I order for us from the mildly-brolic s-curl-rockin Baby Junior Seau-looking bartender, thusly:
C4: Do you serve coffee?
Baby Seau: Yes.
C4: Can you put Hennessy in it?
Baby Seau: Sure.
And that was that. The cool thing to do would have been a courteous disclaimer of, "Yeah I can but I have to charge you separately for each." Never mind the fact that substitute Henney for whiskey and we have Irish Coffee, which is known as one drink and not two. Let's not even talk about how suspect his pour of that drank was into our coffees. I won't go there, because some bars just over-charge. They tend to be in hotels , but that's neither here nor there.
What I will harp on is the subtle niggerdom that make this place a coontastic mound of venomous hypocrisy that should and must be stopped. You remember my description of the environs. Did I mention that the milk for the coffee was served in a plastic to-go ketchup container?
Where they do that at?!?! C'mon son! At least have the disposable joints that IHOP gives you.
Also, as we stared at the check in shock and horror, the Asian bootleg DVD lady rolled up on us with her latest inventory. F the fact that after that bamboozling I was in no mood to make another purchase. How you gonna be the "exclusive" brunch spot over-charging for drinks AND allow the bootleg DVD lady into the restaurant to bother the customers?!?! Yes, there was a host who greets you at the door, so she had to be admitted with consent.
You're either the hood spot who allows bootleggers or you're the pricey hip restaurant. You can't be both. It's like being tatted to the neck and then getting a mani-pedi. Ahem...
Show: I ain't even go through with it.
C4: cuz I talked you out of it.
Show: shut the hell up, that's why they played you.
C4: that's the last time I save you from going out of your way to be forced to say "no homo." Anyway...
This is why I don't care about black businesses. Many simply ain't shit. They either too ghetto or trying to be too cool, usually over-priced and suffering from bad service, all in the name of the snetiment of "nigga you ain't up on this!". Yeah the service sucked too. Baby Seau never once in the long ass time we were sipping asked if would like anything else, or hello or anything resembling service. I had to flag him to get the check too.
To contrast and illustrate my point, we went to an Australian-owned spot called the Sunburnt Cow the day before:
Brunch til 5 with all you can drink mimosas, screwdrivers, and a couple other options.
The food was bangin.
Service was great. My glass never got completely empty, and I left BENT. Ask Akira.
Two drinks for $29.50 at the black place. To complete the stereotypically black experience we dropped $30 and let him chill with a $0.50 tip. Eat a dick! You ain't gonna have us look cheap by complaining. You won't get that satisfaction either.
Night of the Cookers, you gots ta chill!!!
C4 2 Ya Door