Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Where They Do That At?! Vol. 1: Baby-Feeding

WARNING: Hot Ghetto Mess Alert!

So I'm walking down 7th Ave in Harlem, I look to my left because something catches my eye as strange. A young black woman (may or not be over 18) is sitting on a stoop with her baby in her lap, bottle-feeding the child.....but something is amiss.

The angle of the white in the bottle in relation to the mother's dark skin looked strange to me from the corner of my eye. Then I turn to notice that this mother is a bonafide chickenhead coon-tard.

Tako: That sounds racist. I mean I know you're black and all but that strikes me as racist.

WJA3: Wait for it....

The chick has the baby bottle pressed awkwardly against her cheek as she feeds the child. Why, you ask? So that she may have two free hands available to text on her Sidekick. That's why.

WJA3: See?!

Tako: I will never question C4 again.

Where they do that at?!?!?!?! Aaaaaaargh!!!!

Are you serious??? Soooo many things wrong with this picture. Let's break this coonery down step by step so our heads don't explode.

1. What could possibly be so important that it trumps the quality of the feeding of your baby? An infant, to he exact. Seriously though. If it's that important, it should warrant a phone call. In fact, who am I kidding? I'd bet $1000 that the content/conversation at hand had nothing to do with school, a job, or anything remotely important. It most likely had something to do with petty hood chickenhead gossip, or relating to getting her some more dick...forgetting of course that dick got you what's currently in your lap.

2. If you are a parent, you should no longer own a Sidekick. Sidekicks and parenthood don't mix. You need to get a grown-up phone as soon as your baby is born. In fact, there should be a program similar to how they let junkies exchange dirty needles for clean ones. Chickenheads (because let's be real. Sidekick + pregnant = chickenhead) should be required to relinquish their Sidekicks in favor of a cheap flip phone (or whatever is the cheapest phone of the carrier) by the close of the second trimester.

Show: See, even leaving some room for an abortion!

WJA3: Y'all going to hell.

This way, we avoid tragic situations like the one we just saw, and we teach the teen mothers that it's time to tighten the belt and assume some responsibility for their irresponsible actions.

As for the baby? The chubby-cheeked baby boy was chillin, he was good money. He adapted well to his mama's irresponsibility. Unfortunately he may have many more years of having to adapt this way, and may grow weary. Who knows how this child's life may end up.

Could this happen?

Or this?

Maybe this...

God forbid this.

I really hope he has a good grandmother.

- The Nappy-Headed Bros.


khaki la'docker said...

i have to agree- all of that is pure chickenhead shit. At least she wasnt walking around the mall with her childbirth stomach exposed while she breastfed. I saw that about a week ago walking around Arundel Mills Mall... truly disturbing.

Rock said...

Where in the fuck do they do that at c4!!!!!!!!!

Thanks to wifey for the influx of new readers....It only gets better.

I got some shit for yall tomorrow, provided Khack doesnt keep me up all night having phone sex thereby making me too tired to blog.

Who am I kidding....I have an iphone...I can have phone sex, blog and listen to that terrible new Gucci Mane "burrprint 2" album all at once. I aint shit.....

C4 said...

Ghettoness has invaded arundel mills too??? I thought that nonsense was contained to Mondawmin, Security, and now Owings Mills.

khaki la'docker said...

@Rock- okay, so you're multi-tasking on me now?? I swear you're bordering legal seperation now.

@C4- yes sir- public transportation has made its way to Arundel Mills thus causing the invasion of hoodrats, leaf blowers, and EBT folk. Well... that and the Nike outlet that opened not too long ago. You know the hoods love a good deal on out of season Nikes

The Pretty Brown Girl said...

This is INCREDIBLE! I love that you put a spotlight on them there cluckers that would do such a thing. I am a long-time childcare provider and I've seen this and WORSE, not only from this raggle-tag babymamas but also from some of my a-hem...more "upscale clients". Some parents ain't sh*t, regardless.

Rock said...

Oh do tell, pretty brown girl.

If you arent a blogger yourself, we would loveeeeeee to hear some of your cases of inherant hoodratdom. Plus, guest posters allow us to take a day off.

GG said...

I have breast-feeding stories, but then again my daughter would kill you if I told you about them. LOL

Alovelydai said...

Since I moved to York, PA I often think I need to drop my son to my mom's home in Bmore often so he knows what's up...not too sure about that anymore...I think being a York county kid might not be a bad idea huh?

Epiphany said...

LMAO!!! That's trifling though.