Thursday, April 8, 2010

Nig*as collectin Baby Mama's like Baseball Cards

Here's a FB status montage from my cousin Pimpin Pab.

Looks like a pimp? Check. Perm? Check. Has..ahem..."had" a lot of women....check. LOL.

Only nigga in the fam with good hair, besides Dezo, and wanna walk around lookin like a leftover Bone thug. Yea I'm hating. I had to put damn near 2 relaxers in my hair just to make my shit braidable....but that's neither here nor there.

Show Presents...Niggas collecting Baby Mama's like Baseball Cards

Pabs: time to take over the world..........Pabu's baby mommas activate form legs and arms and I'll form the head. lmao.

J.C: baby mamatron

Pabs: yep but my left leg kinda blocked me so we just say i got a dead leg thats all. lol.

Sunshine: Its like that episode of voltron when blue lion just wouldn't link up with the rest. lol.

Liss: U r such a dumass for that comment

Show: u definitely have enought BM's to form a voltron crew. LOL.
Can I interview you for my blog, true story. Confessions of a baby momma-holic?

Pabs: yeah might be fun...but i only have 4, you do know that right?

If all your baby mama's look like this, however, I will shut the fuck up, slap you five and ask you what's your secret. I'm trying to get me a few of Baby mama's like this. Nevertheless, I digress....

The only truly fucked up part about the aformentioned convo (because the first half about voltron was just funny) is the fact that niggas act as though 4 baby mama's isnt that many. I mean it's cool, you love your kids, yada yada, you may take care of the (or some of , but in the end, 4 is still a lot.

Tell the police u had 4 beers when you get pulled over. It'll seem like a lot then.

Run 4'll be out of breath.

Catch 4 felony cases. You'll be in Jail for life in some states.

But this, nigga? This shit right here nicca (hov voice.)
Four baby mamas is like a hangover with a stomach ache, 2 headaches and no aspirin. I don't even have the strength to deal with one aggy female, let alone four!!! I swear...maybe you slipped up with baby mama #1, but the ill nana must've been exponentially better with each successive baby mama.
Sheeeeeeit. I'ma find me a girl who is some body's fourth baby mama. Stretched out or not, I bet she got that yum yum bublegum. LOL.

This nigga and all his baby mama's are gonna kill me, but real talk...I don't judge. I'm just careful out there folks. There's a lot of stuff going around... A.I.D.S, K.I.D.S, Child Support and New Jordans coming out every 3 weeks. I know people aren't using condoms, cause in actuality, they don't break that easy....

I mean really? You didn't foresee these consequences? All of my blog reading public has attended some form of school right? You do know that if u skeet in someone they get pregnant, correct? Pull out method? Come on Son!!!!!! If its good enough to go raw in, you know you aint gonna wanna pull out. Sheeeit, I once 69'd a girl for lack of a condom...could've caught all types of shit...but not KIDS!!!! LOL.

Lefleur: Yea nigga, and to make shit worse, you had condoms in the car. You were just too lazy to walk and get em.

Show: And here I am, baby-mama less. Success!!!!

I'm just kidding. People had mad kids back in the days and it was cool....

Lefleur: By the same person!!

Show: Tomayto, Tomato. Maybe these niggas collecting baby mamas like baseball cards plan on making their kids work the farm, till the land or some shit. LOL. Start their own family carwash (if they're Mexican.)

Lefleur: You aint shit.

Show: Fuckin right. :)

Thoughts? (I'm Talkin to you MW, AKIRA, A2K-10 and my Blog Wifey )



MW said...

See, this is where I wish one of you guys had some Photoshopping skills. You could have slap-dashed together a set of "Baby Mama" trading cards, along with some vital stats on the back:

Shanice Robinson
Home Turf: New Haven, CT
Born: 3/17/1984
Birthplace: know she ain't never left, son!
HT: 5'5"
WT: a buck ninety five
Cup Size: airbag size
Dominant Hand: right (left to work the balls)
Catching Record (STDs): 2
OBDH (Other Baby Daddies Held): 1
SIJ (Siblings in Jail): 0
CIJ (Cousins in Jail): 6
Walks (of Shame): avg. 3/mo.
Catchphrase: "Not in my hair, dammit!"

...Real vital statistics.

Akira said...

Jesus Christ MW, just get a blog already. Why waste this wit in a comments section?

I have no comment on this. It was hilarious, I just dont know anyone with multiple baby mamas. Which is strange, since Im from Kentucky, and all my friends there are knocked up and married, divorced, and re-married.

I can understand multiple baby mamas tho. People have that ideal kid in their head, with good hair, smarts, blah blah (dont judge me for writing good hair first, I have a complex!). Probably just waiting for that right combination. Diversifying, if you will.

khaki la'docker said...

whoa, 4 baby mamas???? Didnt know people still did that :/