Monday, April 12, 2010

Hennessey Black, Lefleur & Ass Crack. Pause.

"Blame it on the Goose, Blame it on the Henny....blame it on the blue top got you feelin dizzy...blame it on the a-a-a-, a-alcohol.." -Jamie Foxx.

Well, there was no blue top, no grey Gizzle, no Loosey goosey and no Grey's anatomy. There was however, Henny...And Lefleur.

Leflur (9:00 am, Easter Sunday): Yo son...You still got some of that Henny Black. I heard that shit was good.

C4: Nigga you heard? You were downin that shit four hours ago straight out the bottle!! Thats why theres some left. You were talkin bout eatin ass then we aint wanna drink after you.


Lefleur: I was faded.

Show: you weren't that remember.

Lefleur: Yeah, but....I was just playin...I wasn't gonna eat her ass.

Room erupts in laughter. It was just that kinda day, being Easter and all. I'm sure J.C appreciated it too.

C4: Hold up. You can't be callin Jesus JC like he's a member of Nsync....thats rude.

Show: Eh. Me and that nigga cool. JK. Sorry lord and savior aka big homie.

Back to the politics of Lefleur breaking all the man rules in one single setting.

Broken rule number 1:

Lefleur yells out, "I'll blow the bread, it aint trickin if you got it....who's fu*kin tonight?" while pulling out 20's.

Concencus: Only acceptable in a strip club.

Broken rule number 2:

Lefleur proceeds to say: "Ill eat that thang...I don't care, Illl do it in front of everybody right now."

Show: This has to be a wash. He broke a rule by admitting to eating fur should do it, but lie about it. He did, however, earn gangsta points by saying "fuck it, i'm bout it and will do it right now." I'm gonna give kudos to Lefleur on this one.

Broken Rule 3:

Leflur tells Tash-money that not only will he take a shot of henny out her ass, he says that he will pay!! Tash-money, (naturally) reaches for the money and proceeds to expose thong and crack.

Show: Where they do that at!!!!

C4: Hold on, Show. I know where he was going with this. You give her the money, do the freaky shit and boom! You're in there. Once you eat you have to beat....chicks aren't like dudes who wanna get topped off and peace out. Pause. Once you go down, you know you're gonna get it...he would have essentially been paying for poon. See conversation excerpt below:

Lefleur: I dont even wanna smash.

Whitegirl E: Don't nobody believe a nigga when he says that!!! We know, just like he does, that after he eat we gonna get all horny and smash.

Show: I'm glad we got verification of this from a chick. This means that you fellas gotta cut this shit out. It's dead. Just like the "let me just put the tip in." or, "lemme just put it in for a minute." Guess we need a new strategy. LMAO.

Anyhow, the moral of this story was...

C4: To Blow up lefleur's spot?

Show: no, no, no....

The moral of the story was two-fold...first off, I wanted to see the females' perspectives on whether or not they could get their shit slurped like a v8 splash (hi Khaki) and not wanna bone...and #2, I wanted to rant against Hennessey.

I used to drink hennessey back in the day but have left it alone along with Olde English 40's.

Once white people designate something as exclusively black (or related to other minorities) , I'm convinced that they start putting harmful stuff in it to reinforce stereotypes. BTW, Im still convinced all Goya products have fertility enhancers inside them. Thats my story and I'm stickin to it.

They took it to far though. Hennessey was already distinctively coonish.

White Fat Cat Marketer: How can we make it even more African American...hmm? Lets make put it in 40 ounce bottles, wait no....let's call it Hennessey Nigger!!!

Uncle Tom: Not gonna fly...How about Hennessy Black.

White Public: Brilliant!!!

Black Public: This shit is dope. I heard some rappers talkin bout it.


-The Bros


C4 said...

We forgot to mention the two worst parts ofthe whole encounter.

1. The chick being waaay to quick to grab the money without really seeming ready to dithering deed. The impending disgust as a result of this chickenhead display ultimately made LaFleur shy away from his proposal.

2. This same broad had the nerve to pour herself a full drink and start hollering "it's late I'm ready to go!" like she was gonna leave the crib at 4am with a plastic cup of out drank. I chastised her into sitting her punk ass down til she was done so she was just normal-rude instead of coon-rude.

C4 said...

***do the deed*** not "dithering," silly iPhone autocorrect

Rock said...

That was my homie from middleschool too....which makes me wonder....I think she may have actually done it if we egged Lefleur on enough.

Epic Fail for C4 and Show-Sho.....

oh well, plenty more of that when Me , You and Lfleur hit the Vegas Strip Next month.

A2K-10 Virus said...

A white girl I went to high school wit once told me that she does not have sex with men who don't lick her ass or finger her butt hole for that matter. I was like, 'Yo, I don't eat ass chips.' She ensued to call me boring

WTF?!? Negros aint tryna contract Hep A and dysentary and shit. These hoes are nasty.

Oh by the way, incredible hulks got me my first older girl in college on my 20th b-day. Shout out to henney. Not too stereotypical to sip cognac.

Besides, all I do is Tangueray

In Dana Walsh's Destruction Tonight,

The A2K-10 Virus aka Substancia Nigra

khaki la'docker said...

:waves extra dumb like:

it is quite possible to get head and not want to smash a guy... some guys have impeccable tongue fucking skills but lack length, weight, and longevity in the dick department so...yup, totally possible and thats speaking from a past experience.

sidebar: strip club on Easter though?? that explains a lot. hmmpf