Last week I posted something basically saying, "Dear Facebook, thank you for letting me know that half the girls I think are sexy cannot spell." LMAO.
Sure I got a lot of heat for posting such a brash, brazen and bold statement, but in the end...bitches couldn't really hate, because it was true. Now don't get me wrong, I know a lot of people spell things wrong for convenience (for example: B4 is easier to type than before. Less letters...it makes sense.)
Other things, however, end up getting typed wrong simply because of stupid glitches like the iphone's auto correct, which for some reason thinks that the word "every" when spelled wrong, should be "euthanasia." Really? Who the fuck is talking about euthanasia in a text. Like your gonna send some shit like that in a casual message..."Brb, gotta handle this euthanasia for Grandma. No, really LOL. "
Either way, both these instances represent cases in which improper spelling and grammar are OK. The following cases, are instances where the guilty facebooker should be beaten in the head with a sticky, semen soaked keyboard and forced to go back and get their GED.
Case Study # 1:
"I wonder if he noes i care?.. if he noes dat every move he makes affects me.
C4: No, No, No!!!!!
Show: No homo. Cause that was the name of a Destiny's child Song.
Wja3: Shut up with this no homo business. This is baaaaaaad though.
C4: Knos would have even been acceptable. This makes it sounds like the nigga's gonna smell you...on some olfactory shit. Knows is only 5 letters. If you're gonna type 4 to create such an atrocity why not add the 5th and make it right?
Tako: If they knew better they'd do better.
Case Study # 2:
I said what I had to say and that's that. If you have any comments come front me... don't need to ask others.......
Show: Shouldn't it be "no need to ask others?"
C4: That's really what you're gonna identify as wrong? "Come front me? " Really?
Show: Sounds like your about to drop her off a package of work....Front her a few kilos son. LOL.
WJA3: I am literally shaking my head. Lets boycott 106 and park until people can read and write correctly.
Show: All these status updates were from just one day....and all involved people over 18. LOL.
Case Study # 3:
I knew I shouldn't have had that milkshake. I'm Lactoste and Tolerant.
C4: Oh man. This is classic. Like when shawty ordered the "Jah-lop-a-know"(jalapeno) poppers at Fridays.
Show: Or when the girl with Lefleur tried to order Molson XXX malt liquor at a restaurant, then told him him to park around the block from her house cause her crazy ex-bf still had a key. LOL.
Wja3: Yall are crazy.
Hope you all had fun at other peoples expense. I've got some Tomfoolery for ya tomorrow based on my last day bouncing at the bar and a weekend returning to my Frat house in Philly.
Oh yea, the moral of the post....
I know its been a rocky relationship and you've led others to believe I am a man-whore based on the amount of women commenting on my page, but in the end, I think you've done more good than harm. You've kept me connected to old friends and girls who used to be ugly but are now fine as contract print, while also letting me know (via the photos section) that many of the girls I had dreams of settling down with are just Miami and Myrtle Beach bound, club hopping chickenheads.
You've taught me that bad bitches can't spell....
You've taught me that hood chicks like to take pictures of themselves in front of the mirror holding the cellphone camera above their head.....poking their butt out, of course.
You've taught me that "it's complicated" means "I have a baby's daddy, boyfriend in jail or live with a nigga..."
You've showed me that I no longer need to remember birthdays or even call people....a simple wall post will suffice....
You've helped me separate the hood girls from the ghetto ones...(i.e. all your baby pics being taken on a cellphone = hood, uploading pics of your sonogram, or pregnant ass at the Vandome in a midriff belly shirt = ghetto.)
Most importantly, however, you've taught me one thing...
You''ve taught me that as long as you keep the people laughing, they'll keep reading...and unlike TV, noone will ever claim that a book will rot your brain. Just dont read the Turner Diaries.