Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Stepping: It's Not Just For Negroes Anymore

Oh boy. It finally happened. Just when you thought white girls couldn't piss off black girls any further, they went full on Jackie Robinson, so to speak. I'm sure a lot of y'all know this by now, but just in case, peep this:

Show: Did I see dat bitch ass cornball coon Ludacris giving out the prize??? If anybody should be giving out awards to white sorority girls it should be Show "Drunk White Girls" Rocka. F**K Luda!!! This whole thing is a fraud!

C4: Stop hating, Luda had nothing to do with the judging. But you have a point. "Drunk White Girls" is an Ivy League classic.

So basically a white girl sorority took first prize at a national step competition, leaving the Divine Nine feeling not so fine, lol. Of course, everybody is crying. Black people yelling, "why they gotta be stealing our shit? Why can't we ever have nothing? This is some buuuuuuulllllshit!" CNN even reported on this and showed some of the youtube comments from salty brown people about the outcome of this competition.

Now your Friendly Neighborhood Blog Killah is also a former stepping champ of the highest order: ninjas could not step to Delta Eta (literally) in '03-'04, anywhere on the east coast, real talk.
Blog Killah at bottom center (pause), Naledge of Kidz in the Hall is the dark-skinned one top left

So basically I've got the nappy-headed credentials in this muddasucka. And in my expert opinion, those white girls were NICE. Their steps were crisp and in unison. The pacing was optimal for the intricate hand-steps. Their steps included seamless formation changes (no easy feat), and in the dance portion of their routine they even dropped down and got their collective eagle on (which I'm always happy to see, from any ethnic group). In short, a very good performance. Of course I didn't see all the rest of the sororities, but I'm basically not mad at them.

Personally I'm mad at the judges who started backpedaling after this shit got more attention, and awarded the AKAs a tie in order to appease the masses. I mean, I get it. This whole white girls stepping thing caught a lot of people off-guard. Not the Bros tho.

Back in undergrad Showrocka found himself at a Drexel sorority party and some of the chicks just started busting out steps: this was in 2003!

Show: They were good too! Delta Zeta whatup, the NappyHeadedBros love you.

This got me thinking about other "black things" becoming dominated by other races.

1. R&B

Sure, everybody is hopping all on Trey Songz nutsack (no Sen. Roy Ashburn) for his last album, but any true R&B fan will be satiated by the most soulful whiteboy in the game, Robin Thicke. His first LP was a certified panty-dropper, and as far as his latest album goes, I'll be testing that bad boy out tonight.
"Chris Brown, are you mad I make better music than you, and my hand is on your ex's thigh? Yeah my wife is black too, I'm used to this."

And of course who could forget that the summer of 2006 was absolutely DOMINATED by Justin Timberlake, who, with collaborations with Timbo, Pharrell, 50 Cent and the Clipse (for f***sakes), may not even be white anymore.

2. Dancing

America's Next Best Dance Crew eliminates black groups real easy, but the Asians be running thangs.

Tako: That's right, biiiiiitch!

C4: Shut the f*** up.

Tako: You just mad cuz you got served by a gang of Asians while you were rocking an Urkel costume.

Show: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

C4: Why you had to tell him about that?! I was ambushed. I had no idea that group of Asians were breakdancers.

Show: Who served yo ass up. No Project Runway. I thought we were gonna have to whoop they ass just to defend your honor.

C4: I appreciate the support, even though you violated the G-code.

Show & Tako: *chuckles*

3. Chicken Wings

Yo. Don't front. Every once in a while all you want is a four-piece box of wings with what on the side? Say it with me now: PORK FRIED RICE. The local hood Chinese restaurant with plexiglass in the front and nowhere to sit down, has thoroughly mastered the art of the chicken wing, making it in some way that no other race or type of establishment can duplicate. And it's f***in' delicious. You can't lie. You can't run from it. All you can do is hunch over your plate, sacrifice your offering of several packets of hot sauce, and pray before your true lord, MSG. YA DIG?!
Salivating, ain't ya? I know. Me too.

4. The Salon

Every black woman knows if she wants her hair done right, she goes to the Dominicans. She wants her nails done right? Koreans. Nuff said. Watagatapitusberry!

See black people? While we're out conquering and excelling in new endeavors in the 21st century, other races are climbing over our proverbial fence, breaking into our home base and stealing the blueprints of the talents we took for granted. Sure we play tennis, golf, and of course, the official Kwanzaa sport of speed skating.

WJA3: Shani Davis is the Greatest Black Athlete of All Time!!!

But what have we sacrificed in return? Nothing really. I take it all as a compliment. Really, the only time to get mad when somebody borrows from one's culture is when that somebody does it terribly wrong and tries to pass it off as the real thing. When it's done well, even the haters gotta recognize, and begrudgingly even like what has been done. See the landmark cases of The Streets vs. Vanilla Ice and Hip Hop vs. Eminem if you need a point of reference.

What other ethnically-affiliated endeavors have yet to be co-opted, but maybe should be? Let's find out tomorrow, on NappyHeadedBros.com.


-The Bros.


Rock said...

I am glad that C4 his opened the floodgates on this one. Fu*k what ya heard, The Chinese have perfected the art of deep (pause) frying Chicken Waangs (pause) in a way no fat, old southern black woman with diabetes, hyertnsion and a ragedy head scarf ever could.

White people still to this day do not understand why you would "go to a Chinese food store for fried chicken" when you could get it from somewhere more "auhenticly ehnic."

To them I say, "you don't go to England to learn English, now do you?" LOL.

"We're in it for the taste (no homo).

Sheeeeeit, I might just marry a Chineese woman if me and Khack ever get a divorce. Ask about me in the Chinese spots kid.

Also, shouts ou to my Nappyheaded Nigerian , Chicken wing eating bro Big Bams MD. This nigga used to eat chineese wings at our track meets in between jumps, leaving chicken bones next to the high jump pit.

Akira said...

good post, but chinese chicken is not that good. too soggy. and the wings are so big, its just too much. just insert your stupid pauses wherever.

Amir said...

I think Akira is slightly biased against the Chinese since her name is quasi-Japanese.
Furthermore, Akira, you need to go to the Chinese spots where you have to order through bulletproof glass. If the restaurant has got a TV showing youtube clips for your enjoyment, it's probably too upscale to get the chicken wing right. (You need to get that month-old recycled grease.)

Akira said...

whoa there, my Arabic brother. I've been to the spots with the bulletproof glass - and it is there where I found the offensive steroid pumped wings! They are fine if you're hungover, but on the real, not that good.

Rock said...

Somethin about them lil asian jawns sayin "saltpepaketchup" gets me everytime. That's gonna be the new Watgatapitusbrry, mark my words.

A2K-10 Virus said...

I'll tell you who the real winner is, Bill Clinton. We will be seeing him at Arkansas sports events again, with white girls dancing like that down there.

In the greatest cheat code of all time: "LILROCK"
A2K-10 Virus

MW said...

I once went to a plexiglassed Peking Palace (actually "Bo Sing" in West Philly) after midnight with Show, where the customers heckled the staff and one man in an aquamarine-colored pimp outfit (feathered fedora and all) tried to negotiate a 7-piece chicken wing deal (I believe the standard was 8 pieces but he lacked the funds).

For what it's worth, Japanese chicken (karaage) is far superior to Chinese chicken and it rarely dicks you over with all that bone weight: just hot, spicy meat. ...I think you'll need several stampings of "no homo" for this brief (pause) paragraph.

A2K-10 Virus said...

Oh yeah. I got this email a week and a half ago and just read it today. Its funny as hell. In case you didn't find this gem, peep


A2K-10 Virus