Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Show's Surprise Bday Party Pt. 1 (Pre-Jail)

C4: Oh, I've got this one.

When the BlogKillah's phone gets a voicemail from a CT number it can be from one of two parties: Dre Smoov or Show Rocka. Pleasantly I find it's Mama Rocka, telling me about the suprise birthday party she's throwing for her son that night, and that all the closest NappyHeaded friends will be there.

Oh joy! Coonery! Tomfoolery! Debauchery! MORE coonery! Coontasticity!!!

Mama Rocka single-handedly orchestrated an unprecedented NappyHeaded Night On The Town in honor of you favorite blogger on this site (at least accordin to the 13 voters. fuckers).

LaFleur was in the house, I said Buck Dinero in the house! Shanga was in the house i said the dude B-Ru was in the house! Hollywood aka the retarded Biggie sound-alike who looks like Memphis Bleek was in the house (JK, I love u no homo) and (insert the rest of the codenames), and Tako Tsou was in the house unbeknownst to have of the people even there!!!! Big-ups to all the New Haven NappyHeaded Fam it was cool to finally meet some of y'all for the first time.

So Mama Rocka had picked me up from the train station and I arrived shortly after the surprise was revealed. I was greeted with a resounding "Oh shit!" from the BlogMonsta and then proceeded to partake from the proverbially perfect NappyHeaded Party Spread. Chicken wings, Sushi for Bougie ass "I dont eat Trans-fat" Show, pizza, all types of drank! Mmm, mmmmmm biiiiitch!

Shanga: yo let me get a sandwich
Buck Dinero: take two fat bitches an make a sandwich!

The real tomfoolery began as we hit the limo, which Show was also unaware would be happening. First off, I've never been around a group of close friends who just go at each others' neck so ruthlessly. Niggas just slanging verbal daggers and hilarious poison-tipped darts with no regard for human life. I felt right at home.

As Show speculated on who the person would be waiting at his house, we toted with the idea that it might be a midget stripper aka the Holy Grail.

Pook: why we talking about midgets anyway?
LaFleur: cuz they sexy!!!
Pook: better not be no stripper I'm married son.
Show: nobody told yo ass to get married, ya Tyler Perry ass nigga!

Skerrrrrrrrrrtt. Lemme get the keyboard C4.

Now I don't know how in the fuck my savvy ass was actually okie doked and tricked into a surprise, by a woman nonetheless!!! I pride myself on being omnipotent and shit. That means I know errrrrrything.

I'm thinkin me and Lefleur are celebrating his B-day a week late because I was in philly on his actual Birthday drinking and drugging. LOL. After bullshitting around and hitting various bars we end up at my moms crib which is not unusual. What is unusual is that we walk in, I am oblivious to the balloons and banner that says surprise, but see my cousin Trip Dip walking with a slice of Peperoni Pizza. Fat nigga.

I'm like "What the fuck you doin in my moms crib?" thinkin he and his wife stopped by without telling me...which woulda been rude. LOL. Almost as rude as me cussin him out in front of Grandmama Rocka's old ass. LOL. The surprise still didnt hit me until I see my white friends Caveman and B-Ruby walk out the back room and I realized I had been Straight up Ashton Kutchnered. Punked like weezy in jail. Then they bring out the Coon cake...and I loved it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The King of Black Label was prsented with a Johhny Walker Black Label and Hennessey Cake. Don't Judge me. LOL.

Next my step pop says, "yo rock, you got a flat tire."

Show: Aint that a Fat white bitch!!!!

Show: My tire pressure light's been on all day.

I walk outside and see no flat, but a Limo...with a diver we know. PUNKED AGAIN!!! A family member hands the driver and some of us an unidentified smokable substance and we're off....

Next stop smoking out of an orange, Strip Clubs, Regular clubs, Show walking on the highway and a Limo pulling up to jail to post bail. Guess you better tune in for part two. LOL.


Akere said...

Haha, you're name is Alex

A2K-10 Virus

Rock said...

Its an acronym.