Friday, March 12, 2010

Revenge of the Gays!

Errrrrybody who knows the bros know that we don't discriminate against anyone...not the gays (we say "the Gays" because it sounds funny), not the tranny's (some post-ops are hot) and not the big girls (cause they need love too.) We do hate on the A cups though, as I'd take a breast cancer survivor with one D-Cupped tity over a fully functional set of A's. C4 does not approve that last sentence.

This being said, we're going to talk sh*t about a gay dude and this other dude who's acting like a gay without feeling bad about it. LOL.

C4: For those of you intelligent negro hoodlums and caucazoids who follow politics (and no nigga, wearing Obama uptowns does not count, you may be familiar with republican (Booo) Senator Roy Ashburn.

Show: BO-RING!!!!

C4: Who was a fierce opponent of Gay rights.

Hahahaah. You said Fierce. Homo. Go on.....

C4: Well, it seems he, like all politicians, was involved in a bit of a scandal. Check out these two articles hot off the presses. Trust me, if th Bros are reporting it, it's because its funny.



Early Wednesday morning, State Sen. Roy Ashburn (R-Calif.) was pulled over and arrested for drunk driving. Sources report that Ashburn -- a fierce opponent of gay rights -- was driving drunk after leaving a gay nightclub; when the officer stopped the state-issued vehicle, there was an unidentified man in the passenger seat of the car.

Ashburn has issued an apology for the incident:

"I am deeply sorry for my actions and offer no excuse for my poor judgment. I accept complete responsibility for my conduct and am prepared to accept the consequences for what I did. I am also truly sorry for the impact this incident will have on those who support and trust me - my family, my constituents, my friends, and my colleagues in the Senate."


State Sen. Roy Ashburn (R-Calif.), the fierce opponent of gay rights who was arrested last week for drunk driving after leaving a gay nightclub, confirmed in a radio interview Monday that he is gay.

"I'm gay," Ashburn told local radio host Inga Barks before returning to the Senate for the first time since his arrest. "Those are the words that have been so difficult for me for so long."

Ashburn, a 55-year-old divorced father of four, claimed his 15-year crusade against proposed gay-rights laws in the California statehouse stemmed from his desire to vote the way his constituents wanted.

LMAO. So this gay dude pretends not to be gay, fights against gay rights, and then gets a DUI coming home from a gay bar!!! LMAO. Classic. This is some Clayton Bigsby Shit!!!! (See: Dave Chapelle's Skit on the Blind Black KKK Member who doesnt know he's black).

Damn. I guess Ashburn should really be changing his name to ASSburn....for various reasons. This is hilarious to me. Guess his partisian coming out party will be quite the event...Sidenote: Obama, I'd skip this one if I were you.

Guess he can finally admit that geting duked up the butt isnt just for child molesters in jail anymore... And to think, the Great State lead by the Terminator himself let such a scandal happen under its watchful eye. I wonder what else is going on in Killer Cali? First they killed Tookie (imagine that, they executed the founder of the Nations largest Gang) and now they're forging their own fudge packing militia in congress.

LOL. I kid, I kid. I really dont care that he takes it in the butt, yes-yes what (lil kim voice...pause). I do care, however, that he's a hypocrite...and a bitch. LOL.

He's the Uncle Ruckus of gay guys, and one of the biggest contradictions on the planet: A GAY REPUBLICAN. If he converted to Judaism and also got a swastika tattoo then he'd complete the cycle of things that simply should not be, finally overtaking that distinction away from the platypus, aka God's joke of an animal.

The next contstant on "who wants to be a gay?" is none other than Basketball playing thug / rapper / man who drinks hennesey at Halfime, Ronnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn Artest!!!!!!!!

Remember? The guy who got in the NBA's biggest brawl to date and snuffed (sucker punched) some fans, effectively causing the mass puss-fying of the NBA due to the backlash?

The guy who admittedly drank half pints of henny at halftime?

Well yea, this coon has now decided to go for the Sisqo from Dru Hill Look.

He started Normal.

Then he got a Bro-hawk...

Note the gross misspelling of "warrior" in his shape-up. You'd think a little spell-check would be worth all that time.

Now, I have no words... I'll let you all be the judges.

C4: I have words. YOU'RE NOT AS COOL AS DENNIS RODMAN, BUDDY! YOU HAVEN'T EARNED WHAT HE'S EARNED! You think you're hot shit in a champagne glass, don't you Ron Artest? Well you're just cold diarrhea in a dixie cup until you get some championship rings, ya crazy bastard.

Uggggghk (Pusha T Voice.)

--The Bros


MW said...

It comes as no surprise that yet another closeted G.O.P.per jazz-hands his way out into public scene with his cock stuck in some page's mouth.

Having gays in the Republican Party sounds like such a contradiction, but let's face it: there are Black Repubs too. And other minorities hanging out in there. They surely do not support the party's implicit bigotries, but rather are probably just rich-ass folks who want a political party that promises them their wealth will be secure as long as they stay rich. Call this a betrayal of their representative demographics if you must, but in the end, we're all out for Numero Uno and will take a Deuce on anyone who tries to steal our shit. Said shit-stealers (very homo?) are often seen as manifested by the "big-guv Democrats" by Republicans. But, I do so loathe politics.

A blogger friend quotes: "Over at Slog, Dan Savage summarized the categories of anti-gay bigots to be either assholes who are externalizing their own internal struggles against their gay natures and desires (Haggard, Craig, Crist, Ratzinger, et al) and assholes who are attempting to compensate for and draw attention away from their own moral shortcomings by attacking gay people (Vitter, Sanford, Ensign, Gingrich, et al).

I firmly agree with this. The Spectre of Homosexuality (not a lost Edgar Allen Poe classic) which ultra-right-wingers (read: whingers) claim is looming over "Amurka" is nothing more than smoke being blown up our collective ass as they attempt to cover up their own shortcomings as a viable, vibrant political force.

Move over Uncle Toms, we've got a few "Aunt Marys" lurking in the midst.

On your very non-sequitorious second topic: people, don't get Chinese characters emblazoned on your person if you don't have the right translations! Artest may have won the NBA Defensive Player of the Year Award in '04, but that's no reason to just look up the word "defense" in a Chinese dictionary and pick out the wrong definition. Maybe Slim will have to look at Artest's Hebrew hair, but we all know this Hennessy-chugging asshole didn't get bar mitvahed.

P.S. @ C4: Don't steal lines from The Venture Brothers.

Peace, I'm out (slightly homo).

Anonymous said...

Not sure where to post this but I wanted to ask if anyone has heard of National Clicks?

Can someone help me find it?

Overheard some co-workers talking about it all week but didn't have time to ask so I thought I would post it here to see if someone could help me out.

Seems to be getting alot of buzz right now.