Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Oriental Ass Whoopin

I almost thought to apologize for not being my normal self on last Monday's post, but then I thought about it...If I apologized, I wouldn't be being my normal self at all. LOL. We all know I'm a likable (pause cause it looks like Lick-able) asshole so let's stop kidding ourselves.

The other day, for instance, a friend posted a Facebook status that read like this:

"Oh My God, my hair is addicted to Perm. I'm sitting in front of the beauty supply store in my car wondering whether or not i should perm my hair....i have to join a 12 step program."

My response:

"I don't see the debate at all. Perms are God's way of correcting whatever he messed up when creating black folk's hair. Better fried than Bohemianly nappy."

Yes baby yes!!!! Love the skin you're in, but a perm aint never hurt nobody!!!!!!!!

Start your little babies out early too!! says the Nappy headed Misogynist. LOL.

Apparently her friends thought this was racist, reckless, inappropriate and the like. Guess they won't be reading this "tongue and cheek" blog...and probably have Anthony Hamilton esque afros with the jill scott physique and a Music Soul Child eye.

That being said,in case you couldn't notice...I'm back to being unapologetically gangsta. Try to snatch my chain and I'll shank Ya.

Show-Sho's Home. Usher voice. No homo.

Oriental (can I still say that?) Ass Whoopin

I hope you enjoyed C4 and Wja3's chronicles of niggas getting their asses whipped for just cause, but you must understand that there is no way in hell I'm not gonna give my two cents on what I think is the funniest you tube video I've seen all year.

What have we learned from C4's previous post, Wja3's precursory tale against violence and this video? We've learned that black folks haven't learned a damn thing!!!

Somewhere, a long time ago, in a land far away, someone came up with the notion that all black people could beat up all white people, provided they were all the same size. While it made sense at the time, as black people were physically fit and muscular slaves while their white counterparts were fat, lazy aristocrats, it was by no means a philosophy we should've ran with. Too many outliers.

What about white boys from the hood and black dudes from the suburbs ? What about ALL the niggas we grew up watching on WWF wrestling?...yea nigga WWF not WWE. Case in point, we should've revisited this theory in contemporary times.

Too late for the lady in the video. She's lucky she didn't get jumped, being in Chinatown and all.

Her error, however, lies not in her choosing to desegregate a chinatown bus, but in not assuming the same thing most black people assume about the Chinese,which is this: Unless they are carrying a Giant camera and wearing a Hawaiian tourist shirt, they probably know karate. This woman didnt know karate, but she still whipped that crackhead lookin', loud mouthed black lady's ass.

Lesson learned. Hopefully.

Live, Life, aint no love here.


Oh, you wanted more commentary? Well I want every girl in the world to have a nice rack. I also a roll of toilet paper made out of petrified nazi skin. That'll teach those fuckers.

Death to all racists, bigots and the director of the Young Money "Girl I got you" video. Ughhhh. This is worse than Ray J and Game's "Pussy Fight" song.

Chuckee looks like Lil Weezy had a baby with Bushwick Bill and a frog. Twist looks like Grace Jones. LMAO.



khaki said...

Dear Nappy headed husband of mine,
I dont think "they" (as in Asians) like to be called Oriental. Im pretty sure that they dont like to be called that. Then again midgets do not like to be called Midgets and i use the word maybe 11 times a day so... yeah forget what I said. Orientals rock!

your loving wife Nappyheaded Khaki <--- not really, i got Cherokee in my family.

Anonymous said...

ahh haaa when will black ppl learn...i love to go out get drunk and boost my hood homies to go downtown and pick fights just for the comedy of it

khaki said...

Just came back to say... that if she was home she wasnt going to kick my ass. She was fresh out of the hospital from having a baby and she wouldve been too distraught to kick my ass. Ive found that if you treat people with respect they are less likely to want to fight you. Now, if i acted like a hood rat and started insulting her and talking about how her husband slurped up my V8 splash on their couch while she was in NY watching The Color Purple :blank stare: then i would be looking for a fight.

PS Im elusive because im married already too.

Rock said...

Oh em F'ing Gee!!! (White Girl Voice). You are completely and utterly off the hook Ms. Khack-a lack. I love it.

"Slurped up my V8 Splash." = Classic. If you said "Slurped up my V8 Fusion I'd be worried...but it would make snse why u nevr let me hit the light switch. No homo. LOL.

Quit being elusive and come catch me if ya can. I'll be in Blog land standing next to all the big titted women with no kids and jobs...

we can dream can't we.

MW said...

@ khaki (and anyone else who reads this blog, or its comments for that matter)

I'm going to throw some para-academia at you here, but it's been a growing discussion within and without the Library of Congress whether or not "Oriental" is a correct term to use, due to its broad level of description (pan-Asian continental, i.e. Heebs to Nips) and its connotation of imperialism vis-a-vis "the West". Yet, the Library still publishes documents using the term, and tacitly recommends its use to all affiliated organizations (within a library context). Whether or not Asians like being called Oriental, the government is calling them it!

I prefer to call them innocuous terms like "my slanty friend", "rice-tending sex-maker", or my personal favorite: "clean yourself up and make me a sandwich; you make me sick".