Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Old White WHOOP ASS!

The following is a mildy-disturbing but ultimately hilarious lesson being taught. You may have viewed this before, but never with your friendly neighborhood Blog Killah's NappyHeaded analysis. Enjoy.

Now let's recap the main turning points in this hilariously violently disturbing episode.

1. Old white guy (age 67) in "I Am A Motherfucker" tee shirt talks about some black person shining shoes, younger (but not that much younger, age 50, still wearing cornrows) black guy takes offense.

2. Black guy gets ornery, white guy responds but ultimately decides to back down, even moving to another part of the bus.

3. Chickenheads hype up black guy, who continues to talk shit from afar.

4. At behest of chickenheads black guy assaults white guy, punching him in the face.

5. White guy proceeds to beat the devil out of black guy, whaling on him like Elin Woods with a golf club, then leaves bus.

6. Chickenheads now mock black guy while pretending to show concern.

My favorite part is when talking about the shoe-shining, the white guy goes, "it doesn't have to be a black guy it could be anyone. It could be a chinaman." This is the kind of statement of the relatively harmless, old-school absent-minded prejudiced person who says racist shit without even really knowing it. And really, if they're gray-haired and riding the bus with you, you might as well let it slide cuz it's not like he's denying you a job, right? Why go out of your way to aggressively prove your point?

And this is why you don't let random people, ESPECIALLY women, hype you you up to fight somebody, ESPECIALLY when that person initially backs down. See bros and sistas, in the hood it's a common and widely known philosophy of never back down from anybody, to gain respect. But those who really know how to whoop ass who tend to not wanna engage in such activities, because they don't want to go to jail for killing your fool ass over some BS. Remember Enter The Dragon, when Bruce Lee vowed to never fight again, until he was absolutely forced to do it? You saw what happened next. He was sparing cats the punishment of having f"""d with him. The guy even turned around and said before leaving the bus, still riled up and maybe even disturbed by his accomplishment, "I told him not to fuck with me." Sounds like fair warning to me.

But no. He had to listen to them no-good chickenheads talking about, "whoop his ass!" That nigga literally went out of his way to get his ass whooped. All the signs were there. Guy might've been old, but he was BIG. Physics son. Physics. Like my boy Trash said, "He's an old white Vietnam veteran. Of course he's racist. And he's got crazy combat skills and big bear hands."

But of course, in nigga moments niggas don't think. They just listen to other niggas. Niggas who don't care about their well-being, they just wanna be entertained. And them niggas got what they wanted. A sensational ass-whooping. To their surprise and delight it was not the ass-whooping they planned to see, but you can hear the thinly veiled coontastic glee in the voice of the bitch going, "Ooh you leaking!" So foul. Not as foul as the Smoky from Friday "you got knocked the fuck out" moment when she turned the camera herself, but foul nonetheless.

She knew it too, following it up with the stupid question of the year,
"Are you alright?"
"No, I need an ambulance."

Yeah. And a literal crash-course education in bus convo etiquette, free of charge, stupid. Don't you know that the smallest percentage of tame timid white people ride the bus? Think about it. How many crazy black people ride buses? The white people sharing these same buses, if not handicapped, are at the very least, braver than average. Nigga was lucky it wasn't an axe murderer he stepped to. You'll notice I've used the n-word a lot in this post. I've found it a necessary and accurate descriptive word for the context and character of person I'm describing. No John Mayer. Lol sike you know I got no beef with John Mayer. Especially not if he knows this guy from the bus, LOL!

C4 2 Ya Door, more polite than ever before.


Rock said...

I always love when someone who instigates a confrontation is surprised with an ass whoopin. People do, however, need to learn to ignore the Chickenhead Peanut Gallery known for inflaing ones ego and making a nigga forget that he hasn't been in a fight sinc big Ron stole his buttercrunch cookies in 3rd grade.

Moral of the story, if a white person is riding the bus, they are about as "average" as a black person in college. Don't underestimate either, for you may end up on the recieving end of a broken jaw or articulate intellectual beatdown.

MW said...

A year or so back there was a commercial by "Philly Blueprint"(?), whose YouTube video I cannot track down.

In it, a guy and his woman are "up in the club" (there's only one club black people go to right? ...on a second floor somewhere?). A second man hits on our "protagonist"'s girl. Protag proceeds to pull out a gun and shoot the guy.

The commercial ends on a note like: "Hey, Philly, let's not just fucking shoot each other for no reason".

It sounds like a punchlineless joke, but I had to shake my head at that nonsense.

That PSA immediately came to mind when viewing this tale of casual ignorance mixed with aggressive chattiness versus unrequited ego-boostery. Both are prime examples of the kind of barbaric idiocy that can get people killed over misunderstandings and carelessly chosen words.

I find this video satisfying in that the aggressor ended up getting his head handed back to him, and that his biggest wounds were probably to his pride. I think he might even be crying as he slinks his way to the back of the bus. Furthermore, I like to see a young whippersnapper get schooled by his elder. It's comically unexpected to see a senior citizen whip out his fisticuffs and dominate some big-mouth with a glass jaw.

...A modern day anti Rosa Parks, brought to you by the "good" people at NHB.

Akira said...

big bear hands = classic

good blog today guys. although i cant watch this video at work since i have a tendency to laugh loudly and ignorantly, I enjoyed the play by play. i've seen this scene many a time at the chinese spots in Philadelphia. A+

The Imperial WJA3 said...

The black guy ignored 2 important truths:

1 - Old man strength. As men get older they get almost super human strength for short periods of time. This is God's way of making up for the proportionate loss of speed and bad knees.

2 - We are living in the age of Anderson Silva. I won't go into too much detail as this is a potential blog entry down the line, but to summarize, Anderson Silva is currently the baddest man on the planet and he at most looks like a man who jogs. You don't have to look intimidating to whoop an n-word's ass anymore.

Amir said...

Chinese spots in Philly are showing random youtube clips of black guys getting their ass whooped?? Are they trying to say something without actually saying it?

As a general rule of thumb I fear everyone on the subway/bus. Didn't this dude see Men in Black? "I don't know, Zed. Little white girl in the middle of the hood studying with quantam physics book. She's up to something." (I realize this quote is not verbatim, but you get the idea.)

Rock said...

This is kinda like when Sticky Fingaz got knocked out by that white dude on MTV. Guess he figured "I'm Jacked" (Pause), "Im black, bald and scream a lot...I'll whoop this lilly white boy's ass." Sadly that wasnt the case. SMH. Nonetheless, it made for good television.

Doesn't anyone remember Chuck Norris was white!!??? You better leave dem' boys alone. LOL.

Akira said...

Habib, you're the worst.

Anonymous said...

Call the ambalamps!

khaki said...

LMAO... i spit out my white chocolate mocha!!!!! So- dude thought i was a good idea to listen to a bunch of broads on a bus and then got his ass kicked???


Ardwick said...

sucker punched in the glow of the amber lamps.

i guess a lot can be said about how dumb the guy was to pick a fight he can't finish, or the racist old guy, but what about the two bitches taking the video? how horrible are they to encourage the fight to break out.

and why didn't either guy notice they were taking video of him???

Cheena said...

And this right here is why I miss taking public transportation in NYC....."I told you not to fuck with me" LMAO

Carl said...

This actually occurred in Oakland, CA.

Greg said...

funny as ALL HELL, my ninja. all hell.

bitch screamed, "I got it! I got it!"
y is my dude bein' egged on by high-schoolers tho? for REALZ?

Cheena said...

My bad C4. In NY minorities actually fight each other and women. Hence the video below:


Anonymous said...

And then he became Carlton Banks. Have you seen the post fight interview LOL.


MW said...

15 comments!? (Now 16, including this). Dayum.

C4, you have managed to best Show. This might be a new nappyheaded record.

Rock said...

At the risk of making the streak 17, you are correct MW. Im staying low key this week. I've got issues...but the Blog Monster will come back hard...no homo.