Monday, March 15, 2010

Oh Hell Nawww: Sean Coonery

More True news that I wish was a falsely fictitiously fabricated farce...(The Alliterative Bros are back to being bombastically boisterous !)

While yall we're busy getting your nails airbrushed with pictures of that fat bastard Biggie (C4: Reckless! ), the Bros were out combing the streets like Nigerian Hair, making sure you are well informed of the nonsenscial hogwash Tomfoolery white people tend to get into once the March (aka "time to break out the shorts even though there's still snow on the ground") season comes around.

This is really just lighter skinned coonery. We need a word for White Folks coonin. I'm gonna steal this one from A2K-10 Virus and call it "Sean Coonery." LMAO.

Enjoy this REAL NEWS.

Mar 9, 2010

Chef Puts Wife's Breast Milk On Chelsea Restaurant Menu

Yuppie parents in New York have made their presence felt in many ways: stroller rage, dragging their brats into bars where no one else wants them, being loud. Now, in addition to being seen and heard, they can be tasted, as mother's milk (literally) makes its way on to a Manhattan restaurant menu. -

Daniel Angerer (I'd say the name is appropriate under the circumstances) is letting…adventurous customers at his Chelsea restaurant Klee Brasserie sample his wife Lori's nipple tipple. And, as with so many things, blogs are ultimately to blame for the misstep. Says the Post:

"After blogging about his efforts with the human cheese, customers started demanding a sample.'The phone was ringing off the hook. So I prepared a little canapé of breast-milk cheese with figs and Hungarian pepper.'"

I just don't know. This generation of parents–able to stay in New York due to its transformation into the kind of Westchester-esque affluent suburb (have you seen Columbus Avenue in the 70s lately?) urban parents once fled to–deserve to be shipped all the way to Saugerties just so we never have to deal with them again.

It's almost like the idea of being "pioneers" who've rediscovered the benefits of raising spawn in NYC has convinced them they're the first parents to walk the Earth (see: mommy: blogs, message boards, reality shows). A trip to the American Museum of Natural History (with their tots, of course!) might be in order.

For now, I wonder if terrified, health-conscious sanctimommies will be able to enjoy their rack snack with a glass of wine. Maybe in the third trimester? Or before a public pump and dump session while breastfeeding their own babies?

[Note: This is not a piece from The Onion. Nor is it April 1st.]

--By Billy Gray

Show-Sho: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!!!!!!

C4: Watagatpitusberry!!!! Don't know what it means, but it seems applicable.

Well, there you have it. I thought the Japanese dude eating the dead babies was sick, but this....this shit right here niccca??? Unacceptably foul son. What's next? Semen stew?

This is why I don't trust people who don't use wash cloths. Not to sound racist (LOL) but after all the shit white people talk about blacks (other than me of course, I only eat sushi) eating hog maws, chitterlings and shit, they are always trying to push the standards of epicurean decency. I'm sorry, but we should not be eating Titty cheese, leftover placenta or anything else white people are trying to convince us is food. Remember what happened the last time white people convinced us of something...? Yea, I bet Sinque does. (Insert the Middle Passage...or Trail of Tears if you's an Injun. LOL. )

Not that we are Zagat rated or anything, but we can tell yo funky asses that we will NOT BE EATING HERE! WTF dude. I'm still not over this. Fu*k it. C4, lets start a restaurant and sell used womens edible panties dipped in a wasabi Dijon sauce ( MW don't even go there...) Add enough ingredients and wal-laa!! White people think its food.

Tako: Waa-laa. Add Franks read Hot and Black people think...

C4 & Show (In Unison) : Tako, Shut the Fuck Up!!!


The Bros


MW said...

This is easily the crossroads of gastronomy and paraphilia. While not lactophilia per se, this is surely off-putting. Somehow the idea of drinking the female mammary juices of a random cow seems more acceptable than those of a strange woman, despite how bizarre both ideas sound out of context.

Says one site: Watch out Wisconsin, human cheese is gaining market share, enjoyed by husbands and children for it's "sweet and tangy" taste.

Still, I say fuck the intersection of hippies and foodies. This is just disgusting.

P.S. I'd argue that you need to define two extremes of white coonery: one for the power-scooting Walmart-dining toothless Jerry Springer-starmaking dumbass crackers and one for the let's-milk-this-random-mammal-and-pair-it-with-a-wine, baby's-rights-touting, post-soccer-parent cohort of honkeys.

A2K-10 Virus said...

That's a damn shame. Almost as shameful as that real life Semen cookbook. Yeeeerp (Snoop voice), look it up; that actually exists.

In Tiddie Residue,
A2K-10 Virus

LucyJuicy said...

I noticed the word " watagatapitusberry " being thrown around a lot on this blog, (and variations of it) and no one seems to really know what it means or how to use it correctly. Toma-