Wednesday, March 10, 2010

For my DC girls gettin them ass shots...




Please read this carefully as your own Nappyheaded sleuth snatched it right off the associated press newswire in it's entirety... Smh!!!


(March 7) -- At least six women in New Jersey who hoped to plump up their backsides have ended up hospitalized with infections, after a bogus doctor injected their derrieres with a mixture of silicone, petroleum jelly and, perhaps most hazardous, household caulk.


New Jersey health officials said the dangerous mixture had seriously damaging effects.



"What we've been hearing from the hospitals is that these women are presented with deep tissue infections and skin infections," New Jersey Health Department epidemiologist Dr. Tina Tan told the New York Post. "Abscesses form in some cases."


According to the Post report, health officials in New Jersey have warned New York authorities about the phony doctor, who could face criminal charges of practicing medicine without a license. The person reportedly "treated" women from hospitals in New Jersey.


Not only did the women suffer health setbacks in their attempt to gain shapely bottoms, the botched butt enhancements allegedly left them disfigured. A hospital source told the Post their backsides are so cratered and lumpy, they resemble "moonscapes."


Oh man. I swear the blogs are writing themselves this week. Bootlegged "ass Botox"!!!



Where they do that at!?

I swear, ever since the first Popeyes chicken franchise opened up in the hood, niggas been trying to get hookups. I swear... Y'all women need to love what ya got and learn to work with it! (unless you're an A cup, then it's worth the risk. Lol.)

Seriously though? I blame Kim Kardasian for this, which ultimately makes this Ray J's fault. Let me explain.


Kimmy K aka the new spokeswoman for the "new phenomenon" of white women with ass basically made thick girl attributes immensely popular by giving them "crossover appeal." ( sorta how Tiger got Niggas watching golf and Eminem got white people embracing hip hop.)

Before her, black girls with ass were revered by men yet shunned by their hating ass female counterparts, forced to wear the stigma like a KRS 1 sized, wide ass nigger nose built for smelling watermelons. Too much? I kid,I kid...






Moral of the story, ass was a black girl thang (like the Janet Jackson Poetic justice extensions or putting vasoline on your face before a fight) until it caught on in Hollywood.




Even when J-lo emerged as queen of the "donks", it still seemed like a womanly burden rather than a dookie shooting gold mine. Black girls refused to praise the tremendo culo under the "it's probably fat from all that arroz con frijoles", the "that must be where they keep all those kids," and "ricans ain't no better than us" mentalities.






Then a white girl copped an ass.






Now errrrrything changes, like when them bitches made cigarettes sexy back in the 1920's with cigarette holders. Enter the era of white girls wanting black girl features (I.e Trina booties and plumped lips!) smh.





I ain't mad at em tho. It makes for better interracial "bumping of uglies" all the while keeping the important stuff in tact... (I.e white People's good credit!!! Haha.

What? We need someone to register our cars for us, and Maria de la Cruz torres gonzales rodriguez sure ain't doing it!!!

Live, life...ain't no love here

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8 comments:

MW said...

Where they do that at, indeed!

Jokes about these girls now being able to drop trou and moon people legitimately ("Oh, honey, is that the harvest moon passing by in that 1st generation Prius?"), this is just insane. This is 21st century snake-oil salesmanship: except instead of mostly-harmless ineffectual ingredients, its now a booty-cocktail (pause) of toxic chemical products.

Where exactly did these women meet this charlatan, and just what kind of office was he running? Is this a back alley ass job? ...Wait, I may have had one of those last month!

You can bump those uglies if you like, Rocka: whatever it takes to get your moon-rocks off. But I have a feeling these women will need to go to the dark side ("...of the room") for men to plant their flags in their craggy craters.



(I ran out of lunar jokes.)

khaki said...

For real? caulk? petroleum jelly??? I guess he ran out of baby oil gel. Mufuggas make me sick. All of that for ass???? SMH

Anonymous said...

sorry but Kim K is not "white" she's Armenian or somewhere else in the Middle East...

Carl said...

True. Jessica Biel is the most famous real "new phenomenon."

Rock said...

Mix a white shirt with a Sean John one in the laundry. It may come out a little tan, smelling like Brut and Henny, but it's still a white shirt! Armanian arshmanian. Blah.

sunshinestar110 said...

smh @ those silly hoes!! I can't even get wit all that at all..God stood me in the boob line longer much longer than the bootay line and i'm cool with that!

Damn Ray-J ass!!!

Young Educated Black Male said...

man hell naw. well that's what them ho's get...lol.

white folks wanna hate on the shape of black women's bodies and make up, but then their own kind wants to imitate. hypocrisy at it's best.

shit gone look bad when they get old...lol

Anonymous said...

What a great resource!