Friday, February 12, 2010

Weezy's Jailhouse Haircut/ Top 10 Weezy Songs, etc.

As we get ready to watch one of America's favorite Superstars embark on a journey towards beatings and anal rape in Riker's Island I cannot help but reflect on the cultural phenomenon that is Lil Wayne, aka Weezy F Baby "and the F is for Fenominal." LOL.

Yeah I know I usually get all pontificatory, riding my high horse saying "why should we wear shirts that say free miscellaneous guilty rappers," but his is's weezy. Also, it is an injustice that with all the hood niggas around him probably getting paid to do next to nothing, none of them stepped up and took the charge. In actuality, it may not have been that simple as I'm sure the DA planned on making a Plaxico-Burress-esque example out of Lil wayne (pronounced Lawayne). Come on!! In what other cases have you heard them say, on a crowded tour bus we know the gun belonged to him because his DNA was on it. Negro please!!!

Nevertheless, I digress.

For those of you unaware, Weezy was scheduled to go into jail this past Tuesday but was delayed a month for medical reasons...he had to have his diamond grill surgically removed. Good call, cause somebody would've removed that bitch!!!!

For white people and affluent blacks born in nowheresville I will offer a brief history on southern grills work. Unlike the 120 dollar gold grills / Colosseum fronts with the fangs that we east coasters used to rock, which were removable, Southern dentists actually install these 500 + semi permanent grills.

Most people with them, Birdman for example, have their real teeth filed half way down and the grill surgically implanted atop the now "half teeth." Once the grill is surgically removed, the teeth no longer touch and eating is nearly impossible. Guess weezy will be getting some temporary veneers or something. Ewwwww.

Nevertheless, people will still meat hop, Di*k ride and "Memph Bleek" him. Shout out to A2k-10 Virus for that reference. LOL.

Lil wayne, actually, has some of the biggest Meat hopping, swagger jacking, pole riding fans in the world.

Really!!???? Come on Son!!!!!! (Ed Lover Voice.)

This is still not to say that weezy himself isn't a giant meat hopper. He rides Kobe Bryant's nuts like the Game does Dr. Dre, or Terrance J does...well anybody. LOL.

Check out Weezy & Kobe (Gay,Gay,Gay) as they do their photo shoot. This is for you DEZO. Pause.

How gay was that? This gay...

Go Eagles!!! Oh, I meant to say Geaux Saints. LOL.

And now, onto the shit people care about...pop culture. Uggggh.

Riker's Island Prison, like all prisons in NY does not permit deadlocks (for some sanitary / health issue) unless you are a verified Rastafarian. While several sites claim to have pics of wayne dreadless, I haven't verified any as valid. I did find some funny shit tho.

What if he was bald like Birdman???

Or went back to the little Hotboys (pause) afro??? LMAO.

I guess only time will tell as America's most spoofed rapper prepares do his bid, joining the likes of Gucci Mane and Chi Ali. LOL. We wish you the best kid and in your honor, we're requesting that everyone download the following top 10 Lil Weezy Songs ever. Rock out bi*ches!!!

10. I Feel Like Dying --No Album

9. Everything --- Lights Out

8. Bring it Back -- Carter 1

7. Drop the World -- Rebirth

6. Every Girl -- Young Money

5. Best of Me Freestyle

4. Loli Pop -- Carter 3

3. A Milli -- Carter 3

2. Block is Hot -- The Block is Hot

1. Hustler Music -- Carter 2.

Live, Love, Weezy. Pause.



The Imperial WJA3 said...

Rare thumbs down today. How are you going to have a top 10 wayne list with no Dedication 2 tracks?!?! & Where's Stuntin like My Daddy?!?!

Black Kevin Costner said...

In an effort to not ake the task too hard I left out "Hotboys" songs and colabs, other than young money. Otherwise "Duffle Bag Boy" definitely wouldve been on.

Honorable mentions include "Georgia Bush", "Spitter" of dedication 2, "Kush" and "U Gon Love me" of Dedication 1.

You know I know y weezy Wja-threezy.

Black Kevin Costner said...

P.S. My Computer's "M" key is broken. Read accordingly.

MW said...

...Since when has being any racial variant of Kevin Costner been cool? It's not even cool to be the White Kevin Costner anymore.

Unless you want to direct a multi-million-dollar-budgeted, destined-for-flop-status film about Negro Leaguers escaping a flooded world only to the discover a post-apocalyptic wasteland filled with wolves and (black) postal workers, you don't want to be the black Kevin Costner.

More to post-point, the image of the formerly diamantidontal Weezy reduced to slurping up prison food with his mangled-ass choppers leaves me with a Schadenfreude-laden smile. Unadorned, fully-functional teeth... what a fucking concept, huh rap world?

Jailhouse thrills, ruined grills, and heavy spills of nasty-ass gumint food on your orange onesie.

The Black Robert Downey Jr said...

You paused "little hotboys Afro" but not "riding my high horse"?

Cmon son.

The Imperial WJA3 said...

I like "the Black Kevin Costner" MAJOR PAUSE due to the sheer ridiculousness of it.

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